Hey :( Girlfriend for 4 years no more!

[trig?]

I know this doesnt interest alot of people, and you guys dont have to reply or take one little look, but i feel as thou i need to talk to someone thats mature and has advice!

Im 18, ive been with my girlfriend since i was 14, sounds stupid i know, but she was my first love! Weve done everything together and she is such an amazing person i will never forget her ever!
She goes to university in september to reading, and she feels it is best if we break up when she goes!
We talked on the phone tonight and it hurt me so much the way she was acting and talking! Im not going to go into detail! its late and i just wanted to post this! I feel so sick i cant help but think about her leaving, Can someone give me any advice on what to do? because i feel 1% happy and i dont want to do anything stupid!

I feel as thou i really want to die right now becuase i dont know what i am going to do without her! And ive seen some posts on here where they have seen there Ex's with other partners, i really cant think about that! I know this isnt as bad as some of the posts, but i feel so down right now and i dont wanna talk to my parents!

Thank you for reading

Tom.

[instigator]

Hi Tom.

Not 'stupid' at all, don't be silly.

Let's get one thing straight: If she really loved you, she would give the long distance relationship thing a go. The fact that she thinks it "best" if you broke up when she leaves then she's perhaps looking for a way to end it anyway. So don't let her make it out as if going to University is the reason. Hard to believe I know, someone you've been with since you were 14 is going to be tough and heartbreaking. And I won't pretend to feel like I know what you're going through.

However...

Life is full of ups and downs, you can't stop the bad things from happening. What matters is how you bounce back from getting knocked down. Moping about and feeling depressed is only natural but don't let it take hold of your life and don't kick yourself for this happening to you. Happens to the best of us.

As for what to do now? Whaddya mean? Go get a burger king? Take a dump? Go train spotting? Just got to deal with it mate. She wants to split up, there's not much you can do except make your feelings known and then leave it at that. She wants more, she'll come back. She doesn't then move on.

Hope you don't feel that was a bit harsh.

[trig?]

Hey instigator, thx for the reply!
That was a very good post and has helped me to realise what uve said!
She is acting different, i cant talk about it now thou, i do feel a bit depressed lol, i gotta get some sleep!
thank you! really appreciate it!

[Dazbo666]

[trig?]

well, im glad i posted on here, becuase reading things off you guys makes it alot easier already, i think maybe she is using it as an excuse to break up, but we still do alot of things together right now, such as she asks me to go for walks with her and go out ....
I just cant accept the fact that its going to be over!
Thanks guys

[Clanger]

I think its great that you experienced your first love at a young age, good on you.

I cant top the advice you've already received from above, but it does sound like you were moving apart anyway, four years is a long time at such a young age. People change, and at least the girl is telling you how it is, instead of pretending everything will be okay and you could have a long distance relationship...give her dues for being honest.

At least with her away at Uni and you not bumping into her every five minutes you will have time to heal and move on.

Good luck.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[trig?]

Well the thing is, if we break up , i want to be good friends to her as she said ive been a big part in her life...I know were only young, so she said when she comes back we could still go out and do things together just not as a couple? what do you think i should do?

THx clang.

[Lawnie]

If I'm completely honest, the whole 'let's be friends' thing rarely works. You can give it a go, if it doesn't just upset you even more.

[Itchy]

lets be friends does not work,

in reality what it means is

"I want to torture you by telling you the intricate details of all the other men I've been sleeping with" (its a man POV),

since women almost always tell their friends about their sex lives and what goes on, to other women its just comparing notes , to an ex its almost a form of psychological punishment , ie hey I did this and that which isn't nice.

Many women don't even know they are doing this either.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[flat spot]

To be fair she's probably doing the right thing by ending it now. When she's away there'll be very little, if no chance at all the relationship will last. There will be far to many temptations for both of you.

It is however harder to be the one that is left, than the one that is leaving. There is no doubt of that. Believe me when I say time will make things better.
You may feel sick for a few weeks but it will get better.

[flat spot]

p.s. there is no harm in wallowing in a pool of self pity. At least for a short time.

[Dragonfly]

no matter what age you are love always hurts. love hurts more i think when your in your teens as i remember it.

people here have given some very good advice for you.

course you can be friends. i hope it all works out for you. you sound like a really nice bloke.

take care. x
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Itchy]

[Lawnie]

The whole friends thing, at least this soon after a split, is likely to just string you along.

[trig?]

yeah i suppose the whole friends thing is a bit stupid, it will make me more upset i suppose .
And this may sound stupid, my girlfriend is sexy, ill post a picture later, but im not after sex lol, i do really love her, and i enjoy spending time with her!
thanx for all the advice!

[Marcg868]

Well ill add my bit to this, after splitting up with my first love of 2 years exactly a month today.

In all honesty the whole friends thing will NOT work, im sorry but i found out the hard way last night, where went out with my ex, my mates and her mates, and ended up at 3 in the Morning outside a nightclub in Manchester screaming and swearing at eachother for getting off with other people.

The best thing to do in my oppinion, is remember the good times, except it and slowly move on, you will feel shite for a good few weeks at least. A month on i feel terrible still and keep wallowing in my own self pity, as some of the members on this forum know.

Just get a list together of things you want to acheive and start to work your way to doing them, go out with your mates for a few bevvies and stuff. And in all honesty, do not randomly get off with people yet, i thought ahh ill just jump in bed with someone to take my mind of it, and it made things 10 times worse.

Just try your best not to contact her for a while, delete her number, and just build yourself up.

If you wanna moan, or you wanna talk add me to msn.

Things do get easier, i was getting on with life untill last nights awful performance.

P.S if anyone from this forum witnessed a Screaming 20 year old Manc male and 18 year old Manc female outside 5th avenue i apologise
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[niff5855]

Everyone gets dumped mate, its shit but its part of the rich tapestry of life.

At the end of the day if she doesnt feel that way about you anymore, its not her fault mate.

You've got to suck it up and let it pass, and try not to do anything silly in the interim.
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Live fast - die....erm...well...old !!!

[trig?]

cheers mate, taking it all in, i wont do nothing stupid, i wouldnt over a fucking girl, no offence laydees

SHES HERE RIGHT NOW SHHH

[niff5855]

sshhhh hahaha
____________________
Live fast - die....erm...well...old !!!

[fast_tzr]

I know how ya feel mate, I had the same when I was 12(sounds like bollocks but it wasn't, oh I'm 15 now btw) I was with my girlfriend for a year and a half before my parents decided to move me to fucking Spain, and I do remember its genuinely the only time I have ever properly cried about anything. However, we're still just about friends, she does tell me about her sex life which hurts a tad, but I'm happy for her. But now I'm moving back to England, and I might be able to get back with her, so maybe when she gets back from Uni you can get back together(unless as some people said she just used it as an excuse) if you're meant to be together then fate will decide that.
But when she goes, go out and have some one night stands and get pissed because even though it hurts, you know inside, 4 years is a long time to be with someone and you'll be happy to be single

[trig?]

yeah thats true mate...
trouble is thou, like i said before, sounds stupid, but im not into shagging all these dirty birds on night ... stupid bitches they are.
And i cant see me going without any action for quite a well..

[21chappers]

sorry to hear this mate but youve mainly gotta just hold your head up high and think of all the good things from being single and just enjoy being young

[jonboy22]

Keep your pecker up old boy......

Its the four year itch I think you've been cursed with. I broke up with my ex after four years as well (as did three of my best mates, all four years), women just seem to have this timer inside them that runs out after four years.

Anyway chin up,....elbows at 45 degrees to your wrist, half a butt cheek off the seat, weight your pegs, look for the vanishing point and accelerate smoothly through your line of sight........

[trig?]

<3

[lo_iq2000]

Taught loads of recruits joining the army, found one thing out, seems as though young long distance relationships don't work. One half sees the other as having the opportunity to play away, better to break up now rather than have one of those crying on the phone epics!
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