Haynes manuals eh

[ram_doom]

Haynes: Rotate anti-clockwise
Translation: Clamp with mole grips then beat repeatedly with hammer anti-clockwise

Haynes: This is a snug fit
Translation: Clamp with mole-grips then beat repeatedly with hammer

Haynes: This is a tight fit
Translation: Clamp with mole-grips then beat repeatedly with a hammer

Haynes: Pry
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into

Haynes: Lightly
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then clamp with mole-grips then beat repeatedly with hammer

Haynes: Compress
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, then find some mole-grips and a hammer

Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal
Translation: Yes, right But you swear in different places


Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs
Translation: Snap off

Haynes: Using a suitable drift
Translation: Clamp with mole-grips then beat repeatedly with hammer

Haynes: Apply moderate heat
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother Alternatively, clamp with mole-grips then beat repeatedly with hammer


HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

EXPLETIVE: A balm, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow eases those pains and indignities following our every deficiency in
foresight.


Frighteningly accurate eh

Just trying to be light...
____________________
TL1000s, KDX200

[Dazbo666]

Sounds all too familiar
____________________
1st bike (Sept'06 - May'10) : 1991 GPZ500S / Current bike (since Nov 2009) : 2003 Suzuki Bandit 600N
Word of the day : DILLIGAF

[lozzypop1]

If at first you don't succeed... Hit it... HARD!!

Although how the above applies to THIS edition I'm not sure...
____________________
Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

[Dazbo666]

I've already done my share of poopy nappies and 3am bottle feeds thanks very much.
I'd rather not repeat the experience if I can help it
____________________
1st bike (Sept'06 - May'10) : 1991 GPZ500S / Current bike (since Nov 2009) : 2003 Suzuki Bandit 600N
Word of the day : DILLIGAF

[lozzypop1]

Give it a couple of years and it'll be the grand-kids Daz!
____________________
Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

[map]

Seems like Haynes have everything covered

( https://www.haynes.co.uk/wcsstore/HaynesPublishing/images/Bookjackets/75scans/th_3931.jpg - https://www.haynes.co.uk/wcsstore/HaynesPublishing/images/Bookjackets/75scans/th_4371.jpg ) + https://www.haynes.co.uk/wcsstore/HaynesPublishing/images/Bookjackets/75scans/th_4182.jpg + https://www.haynes.co.uk/wcsstore/HaynesPublishing/images/Bookjackets/75scans/th_4086.jpg = https://www.haynes.co.uk/wcsstore/HaynesPublishing/images/Bookjackets/75scans/th_4059.jpg


____________________
...and the whirlwind is in the thorn trees, it's hard for thee to kick against the pricks...
Gibbs, what did Duckie look like when he was younger?