Filtering fun...

[CortezTheKill...]

Being fairly new to this biking malarkey I'm always looking out for opportunities to learn and develop my skills as a rider. Riding over the weekend, I tagged along (or rather tried to keep up) with some mad bikers on the way up from Lichfield to Darley Moor (lovely roads) and practiced my overtakes a bit more. Also had the opportunity to practice filtering at a narrow bridge controlled by traffic lights. No problems.

Feeling very confident, I went out on my bike again this afternoon and rode into Stafford with the aim of practicing more filtering. Confidently rode between two lines of cars on a dual carriageway up to the front and waited at the lights. Feeling very pleased with self. Lights changed and tried to pull away, forgetting that I was in neutral. What a twat I felt.

Had to drop into first and ride away rather quickly so I didn't notice all the car drivers I'd passed pissing themselves.

Feel free to share your embarrassing motorbike moments...if only to make me feel better.
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SV650 - TRASHED
ZX636R C6F - SOLD
Current number of wheels: 0 (not including a bicycle).

[ncrn]

I guess the worst one I ever did was drop into neutral instead of 1st, try to go round an uphill, 90 left hand turn, try to go on the power to help myself and just rev like an idiot and almost fall off due to running out of motion

right infront of a big group of people who were laughing,


that or spending 5 minutes trying to work out why my bike wouldnt move, forgetting my disk lock...
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Past: 55 Sym Jet, 91 ZZR250, 03 NSR125R. Present: 97 ER-5.
https://www.nsr125.co.uk - NSR Owners forum.

[KevlarPants]

Yeah, coming off a roundabout in first, flick it up into second, revving the bejaysus in neutral coasting past a packed bus stop.


Or turning the engine off at some lights to save fuel, and then wondering why the bike won't start when they change, holding everyone up (kill switch).


How cool.

[alone]

Chain snapping in the centre of London, after fighting my way to the front of traffic, then blocking everyone for a minute till I realised what had happened and wheeled myself out the way to cry....

[G]

Riding through London in rush hour with a cover missing off the forward carb resulting in lots of uncontrolled backfires.

Cue various people, including a couple of couriers moving aside thinking that I was rather rudely asking them to get out the way.
Of course, once they moved in I couldn't very much stay there, so eneded up going too fast along the NC thanks to now wanting to hold up the people that had just moved aside.

[wristjob]

you recon the a515 is a "loverly road" between lichfield and darley moor its crap,nothing of note since the body snatching animal rights people moved on from the bits near yoxall there is nothing to see but some cameras at draycott .
mind you if you can find a duller track than darley moor there might be a prize

[cestrian]

Man these threads always crack me up.

I haven't been a biker long enough to screw up that much. Apart from revving the nads off my bike when missing a gear and when during a lesson, continually trying to move off from a garage forcourt when the side stand was down, the Kwak ER500 just loses power when the sidestand is down. Looked like a right tit.
g)

[ncrn]

oooh thought of another embarrising one i did, I was just about to set off, about 5 of my mates stood behind me watching, I start up, lights on, and click into gear, however side stand is down so engine just dies.

They all laugh at me I feel like a tit, so I start it up again, flick out the choke and scream away leaving them in a cloud of blue smoke
____________________
Past: 55 Sym Jet, 91 ZZR250, 03 NSR125R. Present: 97 ER-5.
https://www.nsr125.co.uk - NSR Owners forum.

[HermanTheShee...]

I filtered past lots of cars up to a set of lights, instead of going into first it went into neutral. I didn't realise until the clutch was out and I wasn't going anywhere. To top it off I couldn't get it to go into first, all the cars passed me again while looking like an idiot jumping up and down on the bike
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2004 Suzuki GS500F > 2006 Suzuki SV650S
My real name isn't Herman

[colin1]

my embarassing moments tend to involve using the front brake too harshly on a slippery surface while not going in a straight line resulting in me dropping the bike

fortunately i have only done this 3 times and it was all low speed stuff, but i really should have learnt my lesson the first time

pls note. wet grass on campsites is possibly the most slippery surface known to man, followed by loose gravel acting as ball bearings, and then the kind of slippyness you get in winter from lots of salt and grit (very small ball bearings)
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[Keen]

Once filtered between 2 lanes of traffic to the front of some lights, pulled to a halt, then the bike died and refused to start, leaving me stranded in the middle of 2 lanes as all the cars I passed went by on either side.
Took me far too long to realise that I was out of fuel... I'd filled up at a little country petrol station where the attendant actually comes out and fills it for you- turned out the git had only filled my tank 3/4 full, which was why I got caught out

There was also the time on my old GS500 when the front brake seized (long story) and threw me off right outside a big supermarket. LOADS of people around, it was a big carrefour. Then some old french bitch starts shouting at me about going too fast and being reckless (completely unjustified in the situation) while I'm busy trying to pick the bike up and check my cuts & bruises. Helpful.
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"he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man"- Dr. Johnson

[thx1138]

On a day off a wiring fault causing my fan not to come on, after I'd been for a blast, and my bike overheating, and pissing lcollant iquid out everywhere, right opposite where I work. And having to wait about half an hour for it to cool down enough to nurse home, with all my colleagues shouting unhelpful comments as they drove in and out the gates.

[TheDonUK]

Dont worry Cortez, the neutal slips happen as often as lightning after a while.

I guess GS Front Brake Fuckups are common...
I filtered up park lane towards marble arch on my GS, went to brake for the redlight and PING goes my front brake pads spinning like an ejected AK47 bullet... No front brake...
I was lucky it was somewhere like park lane with no traffic ahead.
It did result in me having to run out in the road to get my pads, i had to do it between traffic light brakes (its 4/5 lanes wide where this happened) much to the amusement of the entire lineup of cars (no bikers thankfully )

Oh yea the most recent,
My piston rings are as fucked as american forign policy, so the bike smokes from time to time . This was after holloway prison heading into central london, main road, traffic was pretty much stationary due to tempory traffic lights, so i have filtered at a gentle pace, see a traffic police car ahead, make a snap decision not to do a u-turn and ride test like past them. Basically staring in my mirrors under my smoked visor for movement of the pig car. Get a little way down and all is good... Then ohh i have company, flashing blues and they pull me over to the empty right hand side (traffic is all passing in the next lane, very slowly, but fast enough to get a conveyer belt action of rubberneckers going on .

Now my bike has a clealy broken/smashed speedo, leaky forks (with a piece of sponge gaffer taped under the seals to prevent oil spilling on the brakes), and the afformentioned piston rings. And most likely a host of other things, the indicators may have stoped working by that point... its all become a blur of one fuckup after another , Fuckit by christmas time i will haved saved up for a ZX6R and being 21 now i can afford it, insurance wise.

But i digress, The pigs go over my bike give it the old free MOT .
All just delaying the radio call to comfirm im insured/licenced/taxed. I speak to them with respect and a friendly tone of voice... none of that ghetto shit. One of them instructs me that i must have poor fuel consumption and TELLS me exactly how big my fuel tank is, i just smile and agree all the while wanting to say (No you arrogant fuck, a '94 GS500E does not have a 19 litre tank it will not do 160 miles to a tank when running properly). I hated doing it, especially infront of all those people, especially the 300+ people on the bendy bus with nothing better to do .

This one has a happy ending - The cops turned out to be alright, they dident even give me a producer, im sure i coulda got points fotr the speedo at the very least... And i dont give a fuck i will swallow my pride to avoid loosing my licence..

[Rookie]

Couple of things, all involving my jacket! I have a phobia of leaving my pockets open now, because I've been so stupid in the past.

1: Lost 40 cigarettes just coming out of Tesco.
2: Lost my rather expensive phone on the May Day run.
3: Lost another 40 cigarettes, same shop, same brand.
4: Lost my Datatool fob and original key. That was the worst, it cost a fortune to get a new fob programmed in.

Then there's the usual forgetting that I flicked the killswitch when stopping next to Mattish because he'd run out of petrol - 'Crap, there's something wrong with my bike' - Gaz flicks the killswitch - 'Crap.'

Also stupidly parking front first on a heavily cambered road with a reasonable amount of gravel. I'm fairly tall so I can get decent grip, but I lost it that time. Thankfully my ex-bosses #40k Mercedes stopped my fairing getting scratched. She was a bitch, I was sorry it didn't crack the bumper.

[Duckyboos]

[mchaggis]

Just yesterday, I went over a kerb getting out of a carpark after being blocked in by an indecisive driver. As soon as the front wheel hit the road, there was an almighty CRACK! and a bit of belly-pan coloured plastic went flying past my feet. Now the things in three pieces and the Geeper has a nekkit bottom.
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I must not be a troll...
Mmmm, Guinness
Discovering the delights of Hammerite and a 3/4" brush.

[magpiemale]

ahh the pockets in your jacket seem to check them 2-3 times (habit) to see if they are open.I myself have had no moments but on the subject of filtering I had a beauty of one a few weeks ago,while going to my 1st service to swindon (z750s) I came upon a traffic jam (I mean a biggie) from earls barton turn off on the A45 right up to near barclaycard all the traffic was standstill put my hazards on wearing a green florecent and rode by all of them 15-20mph.Then again on the M40 jun 9 traffic backing up from the slip road up to oxford A34 ? slipped right through them all thought it was xmas and my birthday in one that day and still got to swindon in around 2hrs must of saved 2hours of traffic jam if I was in a car.

[DEN MONKEY]

Just last week it was a beautiful day out so i figured id take a run up past the beach for a look at the bikinis. top notch by the way

Anywho i went to take an uphill left hander which requires a lot of attention due to cars parked in the area.
So you creep out into the road in first just in case you need to haul arse if something is coming.
Anyway a nice looking bird is standing on the corner so i figures I will give it a bit of a blip to get her attention.
Its not until the bike lerched forward and near out into an on coming car that I realised it really does help to have the clutch in before hand.
In the effort to hold on and find the brakes I still managed to grab her attention...
not the kind i was after though
Think I may still have the stain in the back of my pants
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meh

[P4LERIDER]

One morning on my commute to work when I had a 99 zx6r on the road I was practicing lifiting the front wheel when pulling away from traffic lights.. being a bit of a wheelie newbie, I was only ever lifting it a couple of inches until one morning, having filtered my way to the front at a set of traffic lights, they changed green, i binned the clutch with the revs up over 7500 & hoiked the biggest minger of my life.... the thing is i couldn't actually get my feet onto the foot pegs so proceeded to wobble down the road mono wheel with legs flapping about!! What a cock

[RealNinja]

[CortezTheKill...]

[smartwhitelig...]

My most embarassing moment was the 1st time I took my new "big" bike out. Went down some country lane to try and do u -turn, just to practise control of said new bike. Bloody dropped it. As I am only 5'4" and 9st I couldnt pick it up Some old guy on a pushbike came round the corner to see me and the bike in the middle of the road. He assumed I had fallen off, told him I hadnt but needed a hand to pick it up. He obliged, telling me he had to be careful though cause he had a henia!!! He must have been 70 if a day. Felt a right knob I can tell you.

[colin1]

[SoND]

[mchaggis]

I've a white bike with a fairing. If someone doesn't see that with the lights on (the lights on in the right situation), the chances are that they won't see me with a reflective jacket on, let alone the fact that I'd look like a knob.

Some people will pull out on you whatever you look like. Wearing reflective gear is a pretty passive way of getting people to see you. I much prefer to be proactive with road positioning (moving around in the lane when approaching junctions) and slowing down and being prepared to stop/ steer in a hurry if people do anything stupid.

Always have an escape route. Spending as much distance/ time filtering as I do in free flowing traffic every day on the way to work forces me to do that. It might seem a bit odd if you're not used to it, but it is something that becomes an unconcious part of riding after a while.

So much so in fact, that I get in trouble driving (learning to) because I sometimes unconciously move road position when approaching hazards and junctions in the same way as I do on the bike, despite the fact that the car is 3-4 times as wide.
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I must not be a troll...
Mmmm, Guinness
Discovering the delights of Hammerite and a 3/4" brush.