How long has this all been going on?
Panick-Atacks... that's where it started..... 22 February 2011... actually, NO!
'The Pup-Project' what was that.... 23 May 2010....
Or before that... some-time in September 2010, when I first spoke to that ARSE-HOLE.... wazziz-name?
Yeah, that'll be 'im.... im wot said:
"Six YEARS! SIX YEARS on L-Plates!... What you playin at?...
IF YOU CANT PASS A TEST IN SIX YEARS..... YOU GOT NO BUSINESS BEING ON A BIKE!
Three years ago.... FUCKING HELL!
Yup, Three years..... there I was happily under my rock, working nights so I never had to see no-body, toddling three miles to and from work every evening on my horrible little chinese cruiser... with the chain falling off all the time, 'cos no-one would sell me a new one!
Fiance had fucked off with the wedding planner! Geez what a relief that was! Didn't have a worry in the world apart from how I was going to pay the mortage and where I could get a chain & sprocket set for a chitty chink!
"Cant pass a test in six years!"... who the fuck does he think he is! Bloody 'Teflon-Mike'... just 'cos he got a licence when dinasaurs roamed the world! "no business on a bludy Bike!" I'll give him........ "Oh... hello.......BELT".....
Hmmm..... big fella this......
MAYBE...
Well.....
I'll be NICE to him....
at least till he fixes my chain!
He did too!
Stuck me in his Range-Rover, took mer over to local bike shop.... I were bricking myself!
Fiance had gone in there.... if he was lucky, they ignored him!
Tef..... looming large in his big black 'duster'........ "Awright mate, what you need?"... He got what passes as MANNERS from these cut-off types! Definitely watch myself here.....
Well..... till he's fixed my chain at least!
Did too!
Bludy hell.... THIS one may be worth keeping about.... useful fella, this one........
So THAT's where it ALL BEGAN!
What happened next?
Well... I started dating him....... you know..... trying to serepticiousely find some hair left on his head...... send it to the lab..... find out whether he REALLY is as old as a Diplodocus........
Talked about my horrible chinese cruiser, and how it weren't no good for getting my tests on.......
Excuses.... EXCUSES! He said!
Has an answer for everything, this chap.... AND DONT WE BLUDY KNOW IT!
One by one, took every GOOD REASON I had for not taking my tests and blew it out the water.....
So I decided to sell the cruiser and try and get something more useful.
Yeah, well be hard to find something less useful...... so great.... no one else is dum enough to want a chitty chinky cruiser thing!
People not turning up, or turning up and expecting me to be greatful of a £150 offer, meant it didn't sell for six months... which meant I could stay in the safety of my little crawl-space......
Till teff, frustrated by it not selling borrowed £300 off his Uncle and took me to look at a Kawasaki KH125... but PHEW.... we lost the bid on that on e-bay!
THEN the Cruiser thing got nicked!
SHEESH! What a relief!
Tef had been 'playing' with it, and had lowered the bars and messed with teh foot-pegs to make it more 'useful' and told me it may not be great, but I could still take a test on it!
I had NO bike..... which meant that this here test thing could stay in the realms of fantacy, where I liked it!
But Oh-No!
Forgot about this Tef-Thing... didn't I?
Like a ruddy rotweiler he is... once he's got a hold of an idea he dont let go!
And he started looking at new bikes for me.... BRAND NEW bikes even.... saying he could borrow the money, and get it back when I HAD MY LICENCE..... selling the bike off again!
A project..... I want to do a project.... YEAH! THATS A GOOD IDEA!
Well, shut him up for a while.... and if I cant get a bike to work...... he-he.... cant do tests, can I?
So, I started the Pup-Project..... buying a CB125 Super-Dream to 'fix up'...... almost two and a half years ago that was!
But NO... he wouldn't leave me in my nice comfy little world... would he..... bike wasn't 'done'... but he said there was nothing stopping me doing my theory test!
Yeah! Great! Bastard even boght me the computer tutorial & practice disc for my birthday!
LOOK! Girls like FLOWERS, CHOCOLATES! ROMANTIC DINNERS!.... err...... DINNERS anyway..... provided there's polenty of MEAT!... anc chocolate..... we ALL like chocolate!
Computer Discs?! For a fucking EXAM?!?!?
Look, I didn't DO 'exams' when I was at school! Sure as fuck dont want to start NOW!
"Oh, that's nice dear... I'll have a look at that later" - he WAS married...... she didn't train him very well! Bloke CANT take a hint! THAT ought to have told him how enthused I was....
But NO,,, goes on and on.... asking me if I done my practice....... "Yes Dear - No Dear Three Bags Full Dear"
Till he books the fucking test!
And I started this thread!
So...
What next?
Oh yeah... I FAILED!
So he booked another!
HE'S RELENTLESS!
He just DOESN'T give the fuck UP! (or shut the fuck up!)
So, two more tries and I had my Theory.....
And conveniently.... he'd bullied, cadjoled, tinkered, interfered, messed and pestered....
And 'The-Pup' was 'Done'!
Built, running, MOT'd, Insured AND taxed.....
I was running out of excuses!
OH! My CBT has expired! Oh DEAR! What a pitty, what a shame..... can I go back under my rock now?
Nope!
Took me down to Hinkley Rider Training Scheme.......
And booked a FULL COURSE!
Not just CBT... but a course of rider training lessons to test standard.......
AND paid for the ruddy TESTS!
So I FAILED......
But even THAT didn't shut him up.
Being BROKE didn't shut him up.
NOTHING SHUTS HIM UP!
So where have we got to?
I SHUT TEF UP!
https://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w269/teflons-torque/XX-Forum%20Posts/donat06.jpg
Yes.... I PASSED!
FINALLY!
Can I go crawl back under my ROCK now... PLEASE!?!