The heat!

[Rookie]

I went out today on the bike for a quick 10 mile ride, to get some cat food (of all things. ) I got to Tesco, parked up, took my crap off and went inside with my jacket undone. I spent literally no more than 10 minutes in Tesco, yet there I was standing in line for the checkout and I was practically melting. I felt like I was on fire, I wanted to die.

This bloody textile jacket with all the thick armour and double triple stitching is GREAT when I want to avoid those pesky skin grafts, but when you're going to the supermarket to pick up some chow for the moggies, be prepared for the tannoy call: 'Mop up in aisle 3, some dirty biker has just slipped over in a puddle of his own sweat, bashed his head on a frozen chicken, and bled all over the floor'.

Even carrying a helmet is too much for me to tolerate. I'm walking towards the 10 or less checkout (thank you lady in front of me with at least 15 items, paying by credit card, whilst I had 2 items and paid with the right change), and my helmet slips from my grip. I catch it in time, but it's too late for the cat food. I drop the 6 pack, it hits some old lady in the ankle and the plastic seal splits and 3 cans of cat food go rolling across the floor. I'm standing there, sweat dripping down my face, helmet in one arm, cat biscuits in the other, spouting every foul word under the sun, and this kind old lady takes the time to pick them up for me. Thanks very much love, really, but all I want to do at this point is punt them through the window.

So I waltz back down the aisle in a seemingly casual manner - really I'm Mt. Saint Helens ready to blow again - and replace my dented cat food with a new pack. (Don't worry, nice people, I'll go back tomorrow and buy the same pack from the 'to clear' stand.) I go back to the checkout, before realising I haven't picked up any dinner for me and my brother. Everyone else is going out tonight, I'm off to work in half an hour, I just want something quick which I don't have to cook. But when my mum gave me £4 for our dinner, I don't think she wanted me to come home with 2 of Tesco's own Cheddar Ploughmans' sandwiches. So it's back up to the hot deli aisle, where I find the sheer heat from those bastard chickens is enough to send my face into overdrive, and it starts to bubble. To hell with that, I go down the frozen food aisle just to try and cool off a bit - I would have given up smoking, drinking and sex for 15 years just to be allowed to jump into that frozen peas counter - and find nothing besides pizza (I'm not going into what happened last time I bought frozen pizza) to buy. I refuse to pay £3 for some scrotum bread with tomato, so go back and wait in line for a further 5 minutes, face resembling something of a miniature waterfall, and jacket sleeve resembling a sponge. I just want to get out of there and onto the bike, blitz it up to 100mph, totally naked, to cool off a bit.

Unfortunately, this isn't an option, so I go to the fish and chip shop to buy 2 sausage and chips - £4.20, bargain . I was so pissed off with my stuff by now that I left my bag, helmet and jacket on the bike in the pub car park and sauntered into the fish and chip shop sweating like a pig on Sunday. 'Salt and vinegar?' 'Just salt - but don't worry, I'll just wipe it all over my forehead'.

I take the unbearably hot meals back to my bike, mangle them into my bag, unceremoniously wrench my helmet back on my head, sling on all my other effects, and realise the bag isn't going to fit over my head with my helmet on. Helmet back off, bag on, helmet back on. I pull out to the junction, policeman gives me the evil eye as he goes past - I think he thought I'd been drinking at the pub - thank God he didn't pursue it, my rear tyre is horrendously illegal. I go the opposite way, thank fcuk there's a very straight piece of A road just out of town. I get onto it, and praise Allah, it's completely empty. I wind it open with my visor completely open until the wind knocks it shut and feel the wind carressing my drenched body through the gap I left in the zip of the jacket. I feel like a car at the end of the car wash, with the beads of water dribbling along the windows.

The ride home is better than the best orgasm ever, just the wind blast is like nothing else. I blitz it home in about 4 or 5 minutes, hurl the cat food on the counter, throw handfuls of chips at my brother, and bugger off upstairs for a cold shower.

I know we're supposed to love summer, but my God. Us budget lot who can't just throw away an easy £200 on leathers and just want to nip to the shops without losing a few limbs are screwed from the off. Next time I have to go and get cat food, I'm wearing a tank top. If I come off, though I'll probably lose half my skin, at least I won't be all sweaty when the paramedics arrive to resuscitate me.

[Huambo81a]

I refuse to hate this weather, but my Jacket has the corpses of a thousand flying insects strewn across it.

I also hate it when you`ve cleaned the flies off your visor, and then 3 minutes later you get a big one in the middle, you try to carefully brush it off as your travelling down a dual carriageway at 80, and it smears the entire width of your vision, so you have to lift the visor up only to be smashed in the face by a wasp.

And then theres the sitting at traffic lights waiting for them to change as your engine temperature hits 100c, with your back dripping wet, your leg sticking to the tank, and your bollocks superglued to your thighs.

I will not complain about summer, because i have been looking forward to it since last summer, i just wish they would invent some kind of COOL biking gear
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Present: 2017 KTM Super Adventure S
Past: 97 Bandit 600 / 05 Bandit 1200 / 03 ZX6-R / 2006 Tuono R / 2001 VFR 800 / 2010 Street Triple R / 2013 Speed Triple S / 2017 S1000XR

[tiger777]

loved the post, very amusing, put a smile on my face while I'm sat at the ambulance station on my own with nothing to do.

Really feel for you but am sure the cat appreciated the effort

As a paramedic I'd prefer that you continued to use your textile jacket and not a tank top!

[Rookie]

[Paul@125power]

For a while now the zip on my jacket has broke and haven't got around to get it fixed.

I'm thinking, while considering the risks if you fall, if you get really hot why not unzip completely of partially unzip your jacket so a bit of cold air gets in.
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If at first you don't succeed.....destroy all evidence that you tried.

Yamaha YQ100 (RIP)......Honda CBR125R

[suzi_bandit]

Know what you mean about the heat. This is my first summer riding and I'm finding it hard work.
What I've done the last few times I've gone to the supermarket on the bike is I've stripped off (within reason) and put my kit into a trolley. My solitary tin of beans will then be perched on top of my full trolley.
When it's been really hot I can't seem to cool down even when I'm riding at higher speeds. So much so I invested in a textile jacket with all sorts of air vents but alas, still get hot enough to faint.
I've woken up bright and early today so I'm gonna neck my cup of tea down and have an hour blasting through the lanes while there's no traffic about and it's still nice and cool
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I want a big boys bike, preferably a Speed Triple. To date I have ?7:42p stashed away to put towards one. Need to get it in the bank & earning interest asap.

[fazed]

It's better than torrential rain is it not ?
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gixxer thou K6 , Cbr400 gullarm x 2 , cb400 superhack.

[suzi_bandit]

[GearboxGeezer]

Standing in ques always makes me well hot as well. my local bikeshop has lots of fans just for the customers which is cool. Funny seeing all these big bikers fully leatherd up cowering over a fan

As for the zip being undone. u might as well wear a jumper ( imo ) ( im guessing u mean fully undone )

[Itchy]

er take it off when you are off the bike?

Tescos and Morrisons (but not Asda) will generally allow you to stick your stuff behind the customer services desk , though I usually keep ahold of myhelmet lest they do something to it,
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[mr.z]

This is where hard luggage is handyk, i leave my sideboxes on all the time, so when i get to supermarket jacket comes off and goes in one side, elmit in the other, and off i go

Or get a trolley, take stuff off, put it in the trolley..
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>RidingSkills<->Tech Tips<->MyBikes<

[syl]

[fast_tzr]

And that my friend is why:

1)I ride in a t-shirt.

2)Why you should always have a car aswell as a bike.

[Squiffy_The_Wombat]

[greatmoorred]

The government has an initiative to stop people locking dogs in hot cars, and yet we willingly do this to ourselves.
Ah well, at least we get the joy of filtering past all the poor sods in their mondeo's.

[Wave2k]

just ride in a t-shirt, its way cooler .
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Ducati 1299 Panigale
2009 Corvette C6 z51
RS125->CBR400->RXS100->GSXR750K2->Ducati749S->CBR600RR5->TL1000R->DRz400->RSVR1000->Honda VTR SP1->CBR400->GSXR1000K6->Honda H100->CBR600RR3->Ducati1299

[McGee]

Fantastic read George had me laughing, I think we have all had one of those moments

Has your jacket no zip vents on it in the sleeves and back ?


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◙◙► K6 GSXR 600 ◄◙◙◙◙► K5 GSXR 1000 ◄◙◙◙◙► K5 GSXR 600 ◄◙◙◙◙► 96 RF600r ◄◙◙
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Its pronounced Jixxer!

[Rookie]

[Rookie]

Oh and I want to acknowledge both Steve H and Mil Millington (authors of TEN and 'Things Me and My Girlfriend Have Argued About' respectively) who both made me re-evaluate my own writing style with their work. I think it was relatively successful.

[veeeffarr]

Hi,

Funniest thing posted for ages.

To top it off for me today, I have a kind of 'phobia' over being hot and greasy/sweaty, so if I was in your position I think I might of gone mad.

T

[Crash125]

God thats cheered me up, all this nice weather and i have a hole in my exhaust so cant use it.

Best thing i do on a hot day is the oldest tatiest falling to bits Tshirt, the favourite one that has no arms, no sides practicaly no material left to it. Just make sure it has enough material to soak up the sweat and in my case (being female) to cover bits

Other tip is stand next to the chilled section for a while
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*SV650s* 7th time lucky, finaly passed me DAS

[tsmith]

if you wear a damp T-shirt under your main jacket it will help to keep you cool

[kawakid]

I have a mesh jacket and air vent pants for summer use, only use them up to 40mph, if i'm going on a ride out it'll still be leathers, I always ride with a rucksack and I make sure I bring water.
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I've a twin and a 4.

[ZRX61]

Good fucking grief, you had to go TEN miles to get cat food? where the hell do you live????
Heres some hints next time:
1, use the helmet as a shopping basket
2, Ask your mother to show you how to take your jacket off.

[Itchy]