Haha, biking IS good for the soul

[Kaben]

Went out for a little ride today and met an Ex of mine. Way back when, I was head over heels for her and she dumped me. Said I was too dependable and (most painfully to my ego) become boring. She didn’t wait around either, shacking up with some pikey bastard only days later.

Well as I have said, I bumped into her in town as I was starting my bike up to leave. It has been almost 4 years since we last spoke and I’ve wanted to get back at her all this time.

Im standing there and I hear from behind me -

Jen:" Rob, is that you- haven’t seen you in ages, hows life!?" (Said in a way that assumed that I had forgiven the nasty wench for treachery)

Me:"Um, hi, yep im fine....hows it going?

J:"Oh its ok, been up to this and that. Got dumped by a new boyfriend recently" (how many have you cheated on in this 4 years then you bi*tch I think whilst there is a concerned smile on my face)

Me"oh I AM sorry to hear that" (said as nicely as I could-butter would have not melted in my mouth)

Jen "Is that your bike?" She asks (*no, im holding this lid for someone else and im dressed in leather for tonight’s gimp themed fancy dress party *)

Me "yep, yes it is. Good fun she is too-best thing I have ever bought"

Jen "Not something I would expect you to have Rob- didn’t see you as a reckless biker type" She was playing with her hair a bit and looking strangely keen. (Im not a reckless type, but I wasn’t going to argue, was I! lol)

Me "well, you know, things change and if you remember I had a passion for bikes”

Jen" I never actually thought you would get one though. It’s been such a long time Rob, do you fancy meeting up for a drink sometime? Would be nice to catch up, and I have been quite lonely since I broke up with *insert stereotypical pikey name here*.....what do you think?"

She was looking quite lustful actually and the thought of a revenge fuck crossed my mind, twice if im honest, but instead I said the following, and the words flowed without any of my own control over them.

Me" Well that is a lovely offer Jen, but the bike is not the only thing that has changed. I now have a much higher expectation of women I date, and I certainly wouldn’t want to get back with someone who has been ridden by countless pox ridden pikey's and has a crotch that resembles a wizard’s sleeve. Im flattered by the offer though"


Cue, a stunned look from her, and furious raging as I plonked my lid on and rode off. I stopped round the corner to do the straps up and revel in my success.
I hope she cries herself to sleep.

So in light of today I do truly believe that bikes really are the best things since sliced bread.

I know it was nasty, and very backhanded, but i took great pleasure in that. Well worth the 4 years to see her hurt/shocked/angry expression

Kaben
____________________
Its Not a Melon, Its Clearly a Lime!!
Yamaha Fazer 600Now dead, MZ 125 SM
My Deviant Art homepage https://robabloke.deviantart.com/

[Flip]

You fool. You should have fucked her from behind, come in her ass and told her you hated her guts.

You'll learn...


Bloody children.

[.....]

£10 says you didn't actually say that

[Kaben]

I would have got the infernal itch for sure. You should have seen the kind of people she dated after me. Im surprised she wasnt pushing a pram if im honest!

Aye, i can understand the scepticism Joe, but its true, and shall be one of the things i remember fondly on my death bed. It may not have sounded quite so eloquent coming off teh top of my head, but i definitely said it.
____________________
Its Not a Melon, Its Clearly a Lime!!
Yamaha Fazer 600Now dead, MZ 125 SM
My Deviant Art homepage https://robabloke.deviantart.com/

[phantomtek]

[UrbanRacer]

poor tbh, you never know that could have went somewhere.

[tony532]

if thats true then i salute you .
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bikes owned :-

aprilia rs125 - suzuki gsxr400rrsp 1990 - yamaha yzf600r thundercat - honda hornet 6

[msgander]

that was superb! Sad how people often see what they could have had when its too late....

and I bet it did flow Kaben!!
____________________
Always believe that your guardian angel flies a bit faster than you...............

[phantomtek]

Funny if it was a 2 stroke:


You" Well that is a lovely offer Jen, but the bike is not the only thing that has changed. I now have a much higher expectation of women I date, and I certainly wouldn’t want to get back with someone who has been ridden by countless pox ridden pikey's and has a crotch that resembles a wizard’s sleeve. Im flattered by the offer though"

........

You: Just, er, gimme a minute to warm it up.

........

You: Any minute now. Yep, should be soon....... Wooh, awkward or what? *Embarrased laugh* Yep, right, anyway yeah, you whore!

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Dragonfly]

thats quality! i bet you feel great after that.

being a man you should have done the reveng fuck bu i think you done right in making her feel like a dirty slapper. she prob will cry herself to sleep now. but it needed to be done.
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Kaben]

[Dragonfly]

that would have been gutting if that had of happened, but luckly it didnt.i would have been dancing all round the place when i got home. having been dumped myself in intend to do my test since my ex said i wouldnt be able and he has lost his licence which was a provisional anyway. i will drive past time and get my revenge causi wa also hurt.
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Kaben]

Its highly reccomended Dragonfly, ive been in an excellent mood all day because of it! I even re-wrote my bro's Cv this afternoon because i was feeling happy with the world
____________________
Its Not a Melon, Its Clearly a Lime!!
Yamaha Fazer 600Now dead, MZ 125 SM
My Deviant Art homepage https://robabloke.deviantart.com/

[MarJay]

Cherry Danish.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cherry+danish
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British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F; Cheap project: CBR900RR FireBlade
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.

[Dragonfly]

i can feel yuor hppyness through here i am smiling so much. i cant wait to do it! bet yu look like a cheshire cat now lol
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[FreshAL]

Dude - you are a fucking legend!

Quaility

[Misc]

Should of took this advice.
https://www.zippyvideos.com/2356690353641006/homebase/

[RI_HA]

LEGEND!!



WOMAN ARE SCUM

[Flip]

[bazza]

Supoib.

(You'd better not be lying, and that turns out to be what you wished you'd said after you were 200 metres down the the road...)
____________________
"That's it. You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college."
'98 Ducati 750SS, '08 Suzuki GSX650F ©2004-2014, Bazza's Harmless Banter

[andrea]

Well done for making yourself feel better, sounds like she deserved it... and one of the funniest things i've read all day!

[TOM M]

[veeeffarr]

[Reevo8]

I prefer the idea of getting midway through sex with her and putting a pillow on her head. Laughing and then just walking out!

HTH!
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05 ZX10R, (**05 WKR)

[paulthewitt]

excellant.
normally i wouldnt condone this sort of abuse....but as she cheated on you/jumped in the sack with someone else so quick. thumbs up!