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killa
Won't Shut Up



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: 11:26 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Bikes.... Reply with quote

Right, I’m bringing up the age old topic of your partner on a bike….

Now before you all start telling me to shut up and let my missus do what she wants, it’s a free country blah blah blah, I’d like to say a couple of things.
I’ve been riding now for around 7 years this year and for me biking has put me through a lot but I’ve learnt so much and TBH I see riding, especially mine now, as a very normal thing.
I don’t get scared just riding a bit quick any more, I don’t felt he need to ‘attempt’ things, I ride I get on with it and IMO I’m as safe as any cager.
But I know I’m kind of kidding myself, because at any given time some muppet might wipe me out, one thing you may not think about all the time is a joy rider shooting over a red light or something, but it could happen.
Biking is as dangerous as you make it, as said many times before, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been riding for 20 years you might blatt it a little to much round that apex and wham you have some ones reg plate on your forehead.

I know there are a lot of if’s and but’s to consider and you’re going to die any way, but my missus is becoming more and more interested in biking and it is scaring the shit out of me.
I’ve driven the car myself, albeit illegally I can drive safely, what I find is, I don’t have the radio on and I am using almost the same level of confidence as I would on a bike, but the pillars and all that spaz put me off a bit. Liz does drive pretty well, recently she has bumped up experience through her job and even more recently going to see her mum in hospital about 2 hours away.
I notice that she often doesn’t notice the things I would on the road, sometimes I will let her know, but sometimes I think it’s obvious to spot and she just drives past the danger without knowing.
She isn’t stupid, and I know she’d be more than capable of chucking a bike, eventually into corners, but there are these things I think of that I have seen that I’m not comfortable with.
She would be driving mostly with the bike for the weekends, this can be a bad combination for sure.
She means so much to me and it scares me not just because of her but because I see so many dick heads driving.

Thanks

Killa
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Suzuki
Roger



Joined: 03 May 2005
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PostPosted: 11:33 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Firstly, nothing wrong with your missus riding a bike... trust me. Wink

Secondly, regardless of what you think, or what the real dangers are, and certainly regardless of your experience.... if I was your partner and you tried to tell me what i could and couldn't do, I'd be out of the door before you could say "guess I'll have to masturbate now then?!"

Laughing

Let her make her own decisions and live her own life. If you're concerned for her safety, then do what you can to make things safe, but never stop her doing something she wants to do.

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feef
Energiser Bunny



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PostPosted: 11:39 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

don't be so hypocrticial...

you're saying you expect her to accept you riding a bike, but you're not sure you can accept the same thing of her?

:p

a
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killa
Won't Shut Up



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: 11:55 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never mentioned stopping her.... Rolling Eyes
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instigator
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PostPosted: 12:02 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I personally wouldn't stop her from getting into them...I just wouldn't promote the idea to her really. I'd have the same feelings as you...some people you know are just not going to do well on a bike.
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Bendy
Mrs Sensible



Joined: 10 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: 12:14 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone can look at someone else's driving / riding ability and see huge gaps in it, just because they don't conduct themselves the same way you do.
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killa
Won't Shut Up



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: 12:16 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bendy wrote:
Everyone can look at someone else's driving / riding ability and see huge gaps in it, just because they don't conduct themselves the same way you do.


instigator wrote:
I'd have the same feelings as you...some people you know are just not going to do well on a bike.


Smile Thumbs Up
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akaDAVE
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PostPosted: 12:18 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will admit I would be worried sick about my GF wanting to ride a bike. I am quite satisfied that she would never want to and not like it if she tried. I hope!
It is selfish but I would be very worried for her safety considering the way she drives.
I don't know, maybe if she rode a bike she would pay it her full attention/control and not act like a semi-passenger as she does in the car.
Just since I've been in the car with her as a passenger in two years I've stopped her from going into the back of someone 3 times and stopped us going head on into someone that pulled accross our path on a red light. This is when she was completely unaware and I had to shout to get her to brake.
She just doesn't seem to realise the danger or the fact that the rules/lanes of the road don't always apply, i.e you can't go 40mph past stationary traffic at lights without expecting someone to pull out on you. She'll squeeze head-on past a bus 2 inches away without appreciating that it could be a near fatal accident. One hand hooked over the wheel on a bend without thinking what if I slipped.

She wants to go on the back of my bike and I'm worried enough about that. I would be worried sick if she thought about riding one.
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Kara
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PostPosted: 12:26 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you should let her ride before deciding if she's any good. You have lots of skills you can teach her.

Get her good training, get her on bike safe, go to california super bike school. Go together and enjoy something you love together. Encourage her and encourage by taking it easy.

You may learn something about the flaws in your own riding and going "back to school" can make you a better rider! Buy an old shitter and figure out how to fix it together, you'll understand the bike better.

Having a partner that rides is great, what could be better? some
one you love sharing something you love?
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Serendipity
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PostPosted: 13:02 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

My missus has spent the last ten years going pillion with me, but as far as I know she’s totally uninterested in learning to ride herself. Shame really because it would be fun and make touring much easier. It’s only natural to worry about someone you love and, although I am confident that her driving is pretty good, I would still worry about her on a bike…

..but if you want to open a whole new can of worms just wait until your kids want to get bikes! My boy is only 2 and a half, but already obsessed and I just know he’s gonna want a bike eventually. Scary stuff.
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gemma1675
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Joined: 20 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: 16:10 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Learning to ride (i.e. not just doing CBT but the whole test) may make her a better driver as you become more aware of the road in my opinion.
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andrea
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PostPosted: 16:13 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

If she really wants to do it killa, then i would do as kara suggested and make sure she has the best training. I had weekly lessons rather than an intensive course, and wouldn't recommend a course to anyone. Yes you can pass after 3/4 or 5 days of training, but all they really teach you is how to pass the test...NOT how to survive the next 30-40 years on a bike. My instructor takes all of his pupils out to do the Cat and Fiddle Run. He will not let you put in for your test until you can negotiate tight twisty roads, as this is where a lot of new riders come unstuck after their test.

Then i would say do some advanced training together, and do a cornering and braking trackday - will help to build confidence and also might help out one day in a sticky situation.

My lad is 5 and already wants a bike. I know I can't stop him because my dad rode and didn't want me to but I still do. So when the time comes, if its what he really wants, I'll make sure he gets the best training. What more can you do?

HTH
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murphyD
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Joined: 19 May 2006
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PostPosted: 16:20 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's really nice that you're concerned for your wife but if it's something she really wants then you've just gotta let her do it.

My hubby never wanted me to ride even though I'd been riding pillion with him for years. In the end he bought me my 125 for Xmas & booked my CBT as a birthday surprise!! Very Happy Can't tell you how happy that made me Laughing
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Fastgut
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PostPosted: 19:21 - 24 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in a similar situation to yours a year or so ago. My other half's driving was awful (ironic given my job) so I was shit scared about her doing her bike test. Funnily enough being on such an exposed and dangerous(compared to a car) vehicle has improved her driving and observation enormously to the point where she has gone from being awful to being very good in a very short time indeed Cool
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Dark
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: 12:53 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Killa, my girlfriend started riding again this summer after her ex husband convinced her she couldn't ride and she believed him for five years.

She was very badly treated by her ex and had a real confidence problem, but as soon as she expressed an interest in riding again after a few months of us being together we found her a bike.

He riding experience before was not good and she never got a chance to really learn and i was touched when she said she considered me being the best road rider she'd ever met and she would really like me to teach her.

I put some real thought into how i was going to try and make her fast but safe rider and after only four months shes doing very very well (even putting a few of my regular riding friends to shame). She makes the odd mistake and has the odd close calls, which is all part of the learning process, but the important things is she recognises and analyses these and has not made the same mistake twice.

Riding with your partner is something i've never had the priviledge of before and i would encourage you to try it. Sharing the same interest and riding with the person you love is probably the best way to spend your free time.
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Annabella
Like a person, only smaller



Joined: 03 Feb 2002
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PostPosted: 13:05 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Re: Bikes.... Reply with quote

killa wrote:
I notice that she often doesn’t notice the things I would on the road, sometimes I will let her know, but sometimes I think it’s obvious to spot and she just drives past the danger without knowing.



You've just quoted the main difference between people who only drive cars and bikers.

Bikers always notice far more danger than car drivers, and usually far earlier too - just because you naturally increase you awareness on a bike because you feel (and know you are) more vulnerable.


Let her take her CBT, the instructer will soon pick up if her observation is poor. If she doesn't enjoy it, then the experience can only make her a better driver.
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killa
Won't Shut Up



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: 13:24 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the replies people, I didn’t have any Karma before so I’ve dished some out now…

I might sort something for next summer, the CBT should give some indication of natural ability, I guess my main fear is her going out with out me, and just waiting for a call to say she’s had a knock.
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craigs23
Mr Muscle



Joined: 08 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: 13:28 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure if it's been mentioned before, but when I started riding, I didn't have the road awareness, hazard perception, forward planning, etc (essential elements to safe biking) than that of a biker with 7 years experience.

But everyone's got to start somewhere. Car driving may have given her bad habbits and let's not forget it's always easier to critise from a viewer's perspective - everyone's gotta start learning about biking when they first start out, give her a chance and see what's she's like on two wheels - she'ld probably become a better car driver because of it.
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Dark
World Chat Champion



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PostPosted: 13:29 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

No problem mate...

My other half has only gone out once on her own and i must admit i was worried about her, i never said anything to her but she knew it too and text me to say she got home ok.

She actually prefers to ride with me which i am thankful for but its getting to the point now where she'll be ok on her own, i think at first it was information overload for her, then she had all the info she needed but was concentrating more on just controlling the bike rather than applying her newly gained knowledge. Now that the bike control is becoming second nature shes now applying the knowledge and its all coming together nicely.
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steveh
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PostPosted: 16:08 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

my mrs (the mrs) on here rides a bike, has done for 2 years now, at first she had a couple of skids, and dropped it a couple of times, but now shes fine, trust her with herself on it, wich i didnt when she first got it.

she keeps nudging for a go on mine, but thats not going to happen.

i love my mrs having a bike, she cant really moan about mine, she likes me having one and she likes going on the bike, guess this ones a keeper huh Razz


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Dark
World Chat Champion



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PostPosted: 16:10 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep, she sounds like a keeper mate Thumbs Up

I let my other half ride my ZX10R last Wednesday and she now wants one Rolling Eyes
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 17:03 - 25 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

my bf dosnt mind me riding a bike infact he bought me my first one to shut me up lol but was nervous on my early days and still gets concerned but he has seen me driving and been out with me loads and is confident that i can drive.. infact i am a better driver than he is, cause i am more safety cautious. be safe than sorry i say. my dad was also nervous but have since proved him wrong that i can drive. sure your woman will be ok Thumbs Up
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ISLAND GIRL
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PostPosted: 05:50 - 28 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nick was all for me to learn to ride last year and I am so glad I got on and done it, its good having each other to go out with on the bikes as well as friends. Our neighbour also rides and his mrs too past her test last year so the four of us enjoy a ride out from time to time.
I have driven for years, 18 to be precise so learning to ride a bike was a whole new ball game but having learnt now I can honestly say that it has made me a better driver all round, I do far more safety checks whilst driving than I used to and am a lot more aware to fellow road users especially bikers as I know myself what its like not to be seen and some twat pull out on you, happens all the time as they simply do not look Shocked
Killa, just let her get on with mate, just be on hand to give her tips and advice when and where she may need it, Nick said he worried cause of others and their stupidity on the road but he kept me going too and so wanted me to do it and get my licence and loves it that we both ride Mr. Green
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the grim reaper
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PostPosted: 12:34 - 28 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am lucky in that I met my missus at Boxhill and she has been riding as long as I have. As soon as I get round to it, I will be putting her on my insurance for the Blade (she sold her bike when she found out she was pregnant) and I trust her to ride it well. She has had a crash, shortly after her test, which happened due to her trying to keep up with her ex, who rode like an idiot considering he had a newbie behind him. She learnt from that though and I know she rides at her own pace.

If your other half decides to go for it, get her some decent training, go out with her yourself and look for where she's going wrong, you;ll probably find that you become a better rider as well. Watching others mistakes is often a lesson in 'Hell, I do that too'.

Enjoy having a common interest, so many of my mates have other halves who whinge about 'he's out on his bike again'.

[edit] you may also find that you slow down, remember, she worries about you as much as you worry about her]

Cheers

Grim
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Dazbo666
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PostPosted: 03:30 - 29 Jul 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's only natural that you should be concerned for her safety, but my advice would be that if she wants to try it out, make sure she gets top quality training so that she starts to learn about the lack of awareness that most cagers have.

I for one found that even with a number of years of driving experience, my awareness and the resulting increased safety started right from the CBT.
I wrongly thought my driving was about as safe as any until I started the CBT/DAS route.... and then my eyes were opened to how much more there was still to learn.

IMO She can only benefit from doing some training... plus she's got the advantage of your experience too?! Thumbs Up HTH
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