You Vs Mike Tyson

[jonboy22]

REAALLY bored and only 20 minutes till the weekend

DO you think you could have Mike Tyson (in his prime) in a fight to the death in a cage, if you had a baseball bat and a spoon??

Personally I think no....

[KevTM]

if you had a baseball bat aye, why no?

dunno what the spoons for though, eating his brain or summit?

[colin1]

if he was tied up securely, yes i could have him with a baseball bat and a spoon
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[rizlabob]

not a chance the guys an animal! rrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhh
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as said by the rummed up jolly bodger

[jonboy22]

Dunno why I threw the spoon in there, bit of variety, or if your bat snaps across his head and he doesn't go down.

I really don't think a bat would do sodd all. If you swing and miss, all he needs is one punch and it feels like you've been hit by a chav at 50mph on a minimoto....

[tatters]

In a straight fight you would have no chance but you you might get lucky if you could suprise him and deliver a massive wack to the back to his head with the bat, head on he will just block it with his arms.
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[rizlabob]

"if your bat snaps across his head" = run like a bitch
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six million ways to die.................choose one
as said by the rummed up jolly bodger

[G]

As a boxer, he may well not be protecting his nuts and that's one place a baseball bat /is/ going to hurt however tough you are.

Of course, you're going to have problems if you miss.

[ash t]

I would fucking batter the cnut!
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[rizlabob]

no disrespect ash t but - NO YOU WOULD NOT :up:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BAD KARMA MY ARSE
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six million ways to die.................choose one
as said by the rummed up jolly bodger

[V2]

id manage it without the bat.... or the spoon, in fact you could give him the bat, and the spoon, and id still beat him to within an inch of his life........ then some more.

[plugger147]

Only if I can have a few beers first , as G said nuts are unprotected as are legs and knee's. First stike with a bat should be a prod not a swing.

h go on then I'll have a go .
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Tristan the wrote: just whipped off my trousers to find a big bruise on my arse, caused by matt rear ending me...

[The View Askew]

He isn't going to be able to kill you with his hands, so he will grap the bat and proceed to beat you to death with that.

Reality is, he is a trained fighter and built like an ox, I am a normal guy, he would batter me no hiding from it, including pretty much anyone here i'm saying.
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"Do what you always did, get what you always got"

[TheShaggyDA]

I'd know within the first 5-10 seconds whether I'd win or not.
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[i:6e3bfc7581]But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman...[/i:6e3bfc7581]

[Flip]

With a baseball bat?

Erm yeah.

He isn't a f*ckin' super hero. He's a has been rapist.

Although I should add I really wouldn't like to try it.

[jonboy22]

HAHAH

back to "work" on Monday morning and I'm happy to see that people (blokes) have given it some thought, and there's even a bruce lee vs mike tyson string.....hehe

I still think no chance, even if you connect with one of his knee caps he'd still take a swing and you'd be mullered.

As for being a rapist, well that's the last thing you wanna be thinking about when he's got you bent over the ropes holding your bat firmly in two hands like he's about to load an artillery shell into your "chamber"......

[killa]

There was a programme awhile back on hard men of Britain, one bouncer was followed home, the tried beating him with 4 bats.
Although he suffered horrendous injuries he smashed a few of them a couple of times and got himself down A&E.

In his prime I think you’d need more than a bat for Iron Mike.
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[akaDAVE]

If you've ever been cracked on the top of your head with a metal spoon you will know it is possibly the most shocking and painful assualts you can ever experience.

If I could get in a lucky shot I'm sure tyson would be clutching his skull and crying like a baby. I could then go to work and make the bat count.
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GSXR600

[Jesus_Christ]

You are forgetting the greatest weapon known to man. (excluding Mr T, chuck and the '98 R1)

The up turned plug.

Put one of these on the floor and get him to take his shoes off. Easy win!
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If you ate Stephen Hawking, would that count as one of your "five a day" portions?

[jonboy22]

Ahhh yes the spoon,....., see there was a reason I put it in there after all. It would make a really nice hollow clunk on his head as well. Then his eye's would water and he wouldn't be able to see the plug on the floor.

Do you reckon adding a few nails to the bat and replacing the spoon with a bread knife would give you a fighting chance or is it still a no hoper??

[Jesus_Christ]

I'd rather take on the 50 six year olds as discussed some months ago.
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If you ate Stephen Hawking, would that count as one of your "five a day" portions?

[Misc]

You would only get one chance with a swing because like most, he'd probably charge at you if you missed because you wouldn't have time to take another. Also, hes quite mad so i wouldn't be suprised if you even got a chance to hit him because he'd charge you down.

[jonboy22]

This is brilliant

We've got two threads going side by side here both involving hammering the shite out of Tyson....

When you put this one into context though, we wouldn't stand a bloody chance. If we have doubts about Bruce Lee then what chance do we have!!??

I think minimum requirements to take on Mike would be riot gear, a small hedge trimmer and a cattle prod.....oh and the spoon holstered for back up...

[Jesus_Christ]

[jonboy22]

THE PLUG, THE PLUG, OF COURSE.....Doh,

I'd take a few actually and sprinkle them on the floor like a ninja.

If worse came to worse though I could unplugg the "electric" hedge trimmer and then I would have a re-useable plug, ha HA...