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Eating disorder.

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octane
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Joined: 24 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: 20:31 - 23 Sep 2006    Post subject: Eating disorder. Reply with quote

I have a friend from work who went from being nearly 18 stone 2 years ago, to just over 11 stone about a year back. Thing is she still had a little excess fat, and I decided to help her and help myself at the same time by suggesting we go running together; all went great until recently.

She was losing that last little bit of fat fast and looking a lot healthier in the process, but decided in addition she would change her diet as well (she'd eat normally, but still pig out couple times a week on take out), unfortunately it's gone from leaving out the take away, to leaving out most everything.

These days she subsists on mints and breakfast cereal... and I feel it's my fault, since it was me that suggested leaving out the take aways for better results, which worked a little too well, so she started just not eating at all...

I've tried pushing her in to eating properly again, and I thought I'd succeeded, but I've noticed shortly after eating something more substantial than half a bowl of cereal or some mints, she'll go to the toilet, and retching sounds are difficult to hide.

How the hell do I help her stop this?
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gavin
World Chat Champion



Joined: 05 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: 21:02 - 23 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

in a word, well, two words, you cant. she is ill, mentally ill, and needs professional help.

even then theres no guarantees..... ive known a couple of anorexics and bulemics, and trust me, everything you will do or say will be counter productive. its a compulsion, and the more you pick up on it or try to help the better she will hide it.

only she can stop it, and she will only when she finds the strength and will power.

have a look here, https://www.edauk.com/ all the info you need.
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Handsome
World Chat Champion



Joined: 30 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: 21:05 - 23 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope she can work through this mate, and Don't blame yourself.....
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Jebus
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Joined: 10 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 00:03 - 24 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

talk to her, she will proberly be able to tell you want to talk to her about something anyway so just go try and help, and be there to support her
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Mary Jane
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Joined: 11 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: 04:43 - 24 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

The worst part of this is going to be how to bring it up.

She listened to you about cutting out junk food; maybe she'll listen again when you mention to her that not eating at all will slow down her metabolism and so she's got to keep eating to stay fit.

If you need to, maybe there's some resources here: https://www.edauk.com/getting_help.htm


It's possible that she might take offense or be pissed off, or even end your friendship becuase of your getting involved and trying to help her, but which do you value more: your friendship, or her life?

I had someone once risk friendship with me becuase he could see I was headed in a direction and doing things I shouldn't have done. I was pissed off at him at the time and stopped talking to him... but later, I realised he was the only person who tried to stop me. Everyone else who could see it was too afraid of pissing me off to try and save me from myself. I still haven't had a chance to thank him for that, but I think about it every now and again.
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Trip
Brolly Dolly



Joined: 28 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: 10:34 - 24 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dont try and force her into anything mate it will just make it worse.

People with eating disorders dont see the effects of what they are doing to themselves.
When binging and purging the body doesnt receive enough nutrients and goes into shut down. Therefore everytime they do eat anything it is converted into glucose and therefore fat.

Basically you have to be there for her, make it clear that you know about it and that you know its detrimental to her health.

Do you know how long its been going on? It could be that she's been doing it for ages and you just haven't noticed before because you didnt think to look for it.

You could suggest proffesional help but until she admits that she has a problem that will not help at all.

Hope you can help her mate, its really terrible to go through it with someone you care about. Sad
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Annabella
Like a person, only smaller



Joined: 03 Feb 2002
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PostPosted: 10:59 - 25 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't try to approach her directly about it, you will only alienate her.

As far as she is concerned what she is doing is right and you telling her otherwise will anger/upset her. There really isn't a lot you can do - and you mustn't blame yourself, I believe she may have resorted to this extreme dieting anyway.

She does need help, but professional help, and she needs to want it.
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colin1
Captain Safety



Joined: 17 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: 22:31 - 25 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

maybe she likes you and thinks that if she loses enough weight u will ask her out.

if you fancy her, ask her out, maybe then she will relax, and you will both have a nice rship

on the other hand i guess dropping from 18 stone to 11 stone felt great, so being in control and achieving that sort of control of your body is addictive she cant stop

maybe talk to her about foods that are healthy and enjoyable, so she can stay the shape she wants and still eat. She might simply not have the skills to make healthy food she likes, and so binges on unhealthy stuff before yakking it up.
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ZRX61
Victor Meldrew



Joined: 05 Nov 2003
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PostPosted: 07:43 - 26 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Invite her to a pie eating contest Thumbs Up
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octane
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Joined: 24 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: 01:35 - 27 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

ZRX61 wrote:
Invite her to a pie eating contest Thumbs Up

*shoos you away*
Go play with traffic or some shit.
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octane
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Joined: 24 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: 01:45 - 27 Sep 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

colin1 wrote:
maybe she likes you and thinks that if she loses enough weight u will ask her out.

I'm getting married in about a month, so doubt that.
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