Bruce and Bender eating..

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

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Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

Time for a killa enchanted moment. Laughing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ09CM0FJWU

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

And if anyone wants to see more of that, come down see me at the D&B night in Cheltenham 28th October. Thumbs Up

I should really get another vid up, that one's shit now... Laughing

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Suzuki · Roger Joined: 03 May 2005 Karma :

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

Hahahahahah Killa is Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. "Time for a Killa enchanted moment".
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Suzuki · Roger Joined: 03 May 2005 Karma :

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

That's not one of yours...
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Suzuki · Roger Joined: 03 May 2005 Karma :

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Your really sad Jon, it makes me cringe what you reply with, go back to your books....
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ncrn · World Chat Champion Joined: 24 May 2006 Karma :

haha those dragons are cool Very Happy

Ive always wanted one, but most Im allowed is goldfish, so I have 2 Wink

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killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Cheers mate, wish people would just stick to the topic.

I think the beardies are an awesome lizard.
I'm after a Chameleon next, i've heard they are hard to look after though.
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Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

Get a komodo. Thumbs Up

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

Adam_P · World Chat Champion Joined: 23 Jan 2004 Karma :

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Suzuki · Roger Joined: 03 May 2005 Karma :

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

It was going to seem like a stupid thing to ask to me wasn't it.

Don't act stupid Jon.
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Shaun · Likes 'em bent Joined: 17 May 2003 Karma :

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Shaun FFS man that's just terrible.. Rolling Eyes

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Adam_P · World Chat Champion Joined: 23 Jan 2004 Karma :

mazz · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 May 2006 Karma :

Just got this mailed to me thought it was hilarious and totally topical (maybe I need a life)

If you have raised kids (or been one),
and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush
burials for dead goldfish, story below will have you laughing out
LOUD!
Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was
"something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
I put my best lizard healer _expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on
his back,looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie,Mom!"
I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said wedidn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.
"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know.
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a
tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug.
It disappeared.
I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe theycould talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him.(Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.).
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the littleanimal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen . . . Ernie is a boy. You see,
Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity,like most male species, they um . . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So, Ernie's just . . . just . . . excited," my wife offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that
the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just . . . that . .. I'm
picturing you pulling on it's . . . it's . . . teeny little . . ."
She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a
lizard's winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in
biology class. Lizards lay eggs.

mazz · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 May 2006 Karma :

I can'r believe you actually picked up those crickets with your hands Sick