anti f*%ker up my arse weapon

phatstorage · Trackday Trickster Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Karma :

First, the reason,
too many times i have been tailed dangerously close by car driving twats, last night really annoyed me, behind a car on the high street at night doing just under 30 and i get this prick trying to overtake me on my left, an impossible move but this nut was trying. Middle Finger

Now, the cure
if you got a tyre pump using co2, got a length of small tube, like scottoiler size about 2 foot long and filled it with ink or summit like that, wad the end with a small bit of tissue aimed it from the tail of the bike at the windscreen of the car behind and hey presto you become a two wheeled, legged, armed octopus Laughing

Then, the comeback
i was wondering what legal grief you got if the driver took your number before you squirt his window with the "black ink of doom"
what would you get busted for?

i'm well tempted to buy a pump and let fly the ink in wankers faces. Wink

also, anyone else got some kind of "get of my arse" tosser repellant toys?

ncrn · World Chat Champion Joined: 24 May 2006 Karma :

Ive heard that carry a can of chain lube works well, although could be impracticle,

sounds like a good idea though, not sure how well a wad off tissue would work though, would that not get blown off at high speeds?, all the same if you constructed it well enough surely you wouldnt need to have a blockage at the end?

not sure im not too good at making squid cannons.. Wink

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phatstorage · Trackday Trickster Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Karma :

the reason for the wad of tissue is to maybe help the pressure build for a split second, giving a bit more oompff.

but yeah if made air tight it shouldn't leak but if it does, i don't want ink all over my shit.

i love the idea of greasing some slags window, must be a bastard to clean off but it worries me just incase it fails and lets go onto your rear end.

ncrn · World Chat Champion Joined: 24 May 2006 Karma :

I suppose it depends on how high you can mount it and how fast youd be going, but wouldnt most of it go over the bonnet of the car on the lights etc?

if they used their wipers however it would make a nice mess Very Happy

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Finglonga · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Jul 2004 Karma :

Probably wouldn't take your number just punt you off the bike and kick the shit out of you for messing his car up. I would if someone did it to my bike or car.

Best just to let him pass and go to annoy someone else. Why look for trouble?
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phatstorage · Trackday Trickster Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Karma :

TheShaggyDA · Repost Police Joined: 14 Jun 2004 Karma :

You could always cable-tie a can on the bars, and fill it with nuts and bolts. If you have an arsehole behind you, pop one over your shoulder.
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mr.z · World Chat Champion Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Karma :

A few..

One guy i hered of had iron bits on his boots, boots go down = shower of sparks!

Stinkwheel has suggested wobbleing the bars like a loon, soon scares the bejeesus out of them (probably the most sensible really)

Others were ball bearings over the shoulder..

A guy at a recent rally had a bike that belched black smoke out the exhaust on pressing a particular button, oil was fed in via an injector, hot exhaust + oil/diesel mix (he wasn't telling us Razz

) big clouds of smoke.. thatd be pretty good i reckon..

Ive considered riging a flash gun to the back box, one button to charge, and another button to flash.. repete as needed Razz

or a slightly less mad red fog light, aimed right in their face would hopefully be annoying enough to make them back off (or a fog lamp with red glass paint?)

The real problem is there usually to fecking stupid to realise there too close.. if its that bad i slow down till they get pissed off and overtake, unless i'm in a mood then i speed up so they can't.. then slow down. e.t.c. (think of it this way though, when there in front there no longer your problem)
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irving · Traffic Copper Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Karma :

phatstorage · Trackday Trickster Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Karma :

Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

phatstorage · Trackday Trickster Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Karma :

Aikman666 · World Chat Champion Joined: 20 Dec 2004 Karma :

One of those emergency tyre repair canisters would be quite effective:
Squirts out this foamy shit at quite high pressure which then expands, all that you need to do is turn the switch at the top. So if you replaced the stock tube with one that ran the length of the bike, had the canister at the front, hey presto anti fucker weapon with no lasting affect!

- The problem with many of these solutions is it may sorta affect any biker that passes in the same path later!
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Rubix · Nova Slayer Joined: 31 May 2006 Karma :

dont worry about the oil , use a damn pistol and shoot
the fkers ! bwaahaha.. Twisted Evil

I sometimes carry spare car wheel nuts in my jacket pocket.
They are solid and would leave a nasty dint in someones
bonnet / door / head. Shocked

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cLaTTeReD · Nitrous Nuisance Joined: 07 Sep 2005 Karma :

what about some clutch / brake fluid ?

fetch the pain of the fuckers car

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

I find that click on the front brake lever let's them know your not happy with the distance.
I've been in the fast lane before, i turn my head slightly to the mirror (they know your looking) and give the lever a few clicks.

If they don't take the hint i slow a bit, click a few more times.
They usually back off.

No need for all this vigilante shit.
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irving · Traffic Copper Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Karma :

Arfdog · Crazy Courier Joined: 17 Aug 2006 Karma :

Great suggestions guys, spray oil all over the road behind you, or ink the window of the car who is driving up your arse.

Doing so will give you a great feeling of satisfaction, but you had better savour that 'revenge is sweet' feeling, cos the fecker is going to ram into the back of you the moment you slow down due to not seeing you (ink)/impaired braking (oil)..
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irving · Traffic Copper Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Karma :

killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Yeah because temporarily blinding them is a much better idea....
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irving · Traffic Copper Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Karma :

Ciar?n · World Chat Champion Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Karma :

Being around traditional scooterists my whole life, the most common trick we all use is have a spare or dead spark plug.
W*****r tail gates, drop it over your shoulder, it floats in your slipstream, and dives through the window usually.

*Safety Nazi's*
Yes it's very dangerous, yes it could potentially, blind/kill the car driver behind you.

But wouldn't you rather it was him, than when you have to stop, and he arse ends you and snaps your neck?

Thought So.

C
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Finglonga · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Jul 2004 Karma :

Ciar?n · World Chat Champion Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Karma :

GearboxGeezer · World Chat Champion Joined: 06 Sep 2005 Karma :

You could just stop and smash there car up with a hammer.