Motorbikes; the Hollywood Fashion Accessory

[Silver]

Here's a lighthearted article I've just posted on MotorbikeSport, poking a bit of fun at Hollywood and their use of motorbikes
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There appears to be a growing trend within the film industry to use motorbikes as fashion accessories. Not in the type of film where the bike element is critical, obviously. I mean, Biker Boyz wouldn't be much of a film with no bikes in it. Well, it's not much of a film with bikes in it, but it would suffer more for the lack of them (if that's even possible). No, I'm talking about (what seems to be primarily) the action genre. Your hero needs to pop round the corner to pick up a loaf of bread? No problem. Cue the minute long scene with him on some expensive prototype / limited edition sports bike, backed by a rock soundtrack. Once the bread's collected however, the bike'll get shoved back in his garage and never seen again for the remainder of the film. If it is used for more than a minute then Hollywood 'Film Guidelines' dictate that outrageous stunts must be provided.

Don't believe me? Let's take a look at a few that spring to mind...

Blade Trinity
Snipes and Biel pop out for a spot of vampire hunting. Now, rather than use a car (or their big van) to transport their vast array of weaponry, whilst looking inconspicuous, they opt for a couple of Buells. Why? So we can have a minute's worth of film of them zooming round the streets looking cool (backed by banging soundtrack).
Verdict: Pointless.

The Matrix Reloaded
Kind of excusable. Carrie-Ann Moss needs to escape from the Agents with the 'Key Maker' en tow. They leap onto a passing bike transporter and jump on a nice black Ducati 996. This is all fine and makes a pleasant change from all that tearing around in oversized American saloons. What is not fine, however, is her riding. Anyone who can weave between freeway lanes into oncoming traffic should be able to open the throttle for long enough to outrun a police car. She didn't even get her knee down. I can only imagine the sports suspension suffered badly from initial crash landing off the lorry.
Verdict: Excusable.

The Matrix Revolutions
Carrie-Ann Moss (again) drops into the Matrix near the power station she needs to destroy. Unfortunately for her she's on the roof of the building next door. Well, since she's spent the previous two films jumping over buildings and through walls this shouldn't be an issue. Oh well, give her a bike anyway. That way she can do a wheel spin and launch the thing off the building roof. To a banging soundtrack.
Verdict: Why?

Tron
What can I say? The bikes in this film are utterly essential. Spawned a million vector graphics computer games where kids tried to make their friends smash into their brickwall-trailing motorbike.
Verdict: Fast forward the rest of the film, get to the light cycles.

Gone In 60 Seconds
Worst. Culprit. Ever. Okay, so Nicolas Cage goes to meet Angelina Jolie to try and convince her that she should be 'boosting' cars with him. Jolie is working in a garage at the time, before going onto her evening bar job (just so she has enough money to be able to eat). Well, excuse me Mrs Brad Pitt, if you sold the extortionately expensive MV Augusta that you subsequently roll up on you'd be able to eat for a year. That would be bad enough (after she pleads poverty), but all we see is the bike roll forward and her getting off it. For all we know the thing might not even have an engine.
Verdict: More of a fashion accessory that Jolie's Prada handbag.

Mission Impossible 2
Annoying. Not annoying because the bike's used as an accessory, because it's not - it is actually ridden. What's annoying is the way it's ridden. I'll ignore the automatically morphing road/knobbly tyres and pretend that they're the next thing due to come off Pirelli's production line. They're probably coming out around the same time as Triumph's patented bullet-proof bike engine and fuel tank. No, what's really annoying is the incredible riding. If Tom Cruise's film career ever dries up then he surely has a ready made one as a stunt rider. The pinnacle, the piece-de-resistance, has to be where Cruise manages a one handed rolling (and then turning) stoppie whilst shooting out the petrol tank on an oncoming car.
Verdict: The bike riding is fictional in the film, but he might as well have been on a space ship for all the resemblance to reality it bore.

Terminator 2
Arnie gets cool on a Harley. After being transported to this time, Arnie pops into a biker bar, beats up some rednecks, steals some leathers and a Harley Fatboy. He spends the rest of the film riding round on it and, to be honest, it works. In this guise it suits him just as well as the shades and shotgun do. It was touch and go though, since sticking him on an RS125 with Dayglo 'Power Ranger' leathers and titanium kneesliders would have killed the film before it got going.
Verdict: Spot on.

I, Robot
This film is set in 2035. That in itself is in nothing out of the ordinary. It is quite amazing though that a police officer would be able to afford such an expensive motorbike. We're talking, of course, about the 2004 model MV Augusta F4-SPR, one of only 300 made. And it's immaculate. This 21 year old 'classic' comes out just the once, as usual, to transport our heroes to a destination which could just as easily been done in a car.
Verdict: The very epitome of desperately shouting "Look at our film, it's cool!"

James Bond
There are probably many, but the one that stands out for me, in recent memory, is the BMW R1200 in Tomorrow Never Dies. Oh god. Where to start. Just see the description for Mission Impossible 2, only add the fact that Bond is handcuffed to someone else on the bike and they're riding it together. Up stairs.
Verdict: Words fail me. Not a fashion accessory, but since the film's entire budget was covered by shamelessly plugging various manufacturers maybe Bond should have been a bouncer at a whore house in this one.

Resident Evil 2
Need to make an dramatic entrance? Front door of the church not good enough? Thinking about changing the staind glass windows anyway? Why not jump a chopper through them? You can charge up the aisle, do a wheelspin and then leap off (whilst it somehow continues under its own throttle and balance), before it jumps in the air all by itself and kills the mutant zombie.
Verdict: Staggeringly appalling and utterly superfluous.

Kill Bill: Vol.1
Upon landing in Japan to dish out her wrath, Uma Thurman somehow manages to stumble upon a truly awful 90s style ZZR. If that wasn't bad enough, some bastard had ordered it in yellow. Still, not to be outdone our heroine quickly manages to find matching yellow leathers and a yellow helmet. A couple of shots of the bike before the restaurant scene are as much as we get. She does manage to retain the leathers for the huge fight scene at the restaurant, which makes all those flips and jumps even more remarkable.
Verdict: Great film, crap bike. It's a mercy it's there no longer than it is.

[McGee]

[lozzypop1]

[Paivi]

You forgot Charlie's Angels. Not high brow enough?

[Rookie]

Can't believe they missed Tomb Raider as well.

[Itchy]

you missed that film , Gone /go (something silly like that which meant escape I can't recall it exactly) it was called something silly like that,

Where a bloke hides a computer chip behind a panel of a 916 , which his mate discovers cus its been resprayed as a 616,

at which he gets the chip and having had no prior biking experience with his current mate, gets chased by a couple of corvettes getting KD each and every corner , like Rossi (conviently with blacked out visors so you can't see the real pilots) ,

all of a sudden after about what seemed like 800 miles of KD action , one of them does a burn out turn , gets out his Mp5 and riddles the car with bullets, which makes you wonder why he didn't do that in the first place.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[Keen]

[krebsy]

Never seen Kill bill, I was told it was a Speed triple... Oh well, never mind..

K.
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What's my New Year's resolution?

1280 x 1024.

[feef]

Italian Job (2002)

Lyle (Seth Green) turns up to the initial meeting with the rest of the reformed gang on a black Ducati 748/916.

he wobbles up, and drops it.. It's obvious he's bought it for pose value. The problem? they are using the soundtrack from an inline 4, and not a Ducati v-twin.

verdict: The sound of a Ducati is a significant part of the desire for Ducatis, they seem to have missed a point which they could have used in their favour with regards to the fashion of owning one.
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Mudskipper wrote: feef, that is such a beautiful post that it gave me a lady tingle
Windchill calculator - London Bike parking
Blog and stuff - PlentyMoreFish dating

[Keen]

[feef]

[Silver]

Hey, I can't think of every film with bikes ever made Although, the motorcrossing scenes in Charlie's Angels Full Throttle deserve nothing more than pure contempt.

[Sparks!]

More film and tv programs that have bikes in them the more chance I have of getting work MORE MORER MORE
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Current Toys: 06 Yamaha WR250F | Nissan 350Z GT | Tech 4 Homes

[extreme3d]

OK so they've not got wheels, but how could you possibly have missed off your list the speeder bikes from Star wars

https://www.hobbylinc.com/gr/amt/amt38304.jpg

[colin1]

black rain has some good bits with big black dirt bikes

but hard boiled (hong kong john woo film) has some amazing action sequences with guys on big black dirt bikes with uzis

bikes are cool, hollywood likes cool things, its inevitable that bikes will end up in movies

i have no problem with this

i am less keen on movie stars i consider to be deeply uncool, to be seen posing on motorbikes, but i guess they have just as much right to own them as anyone else

[nick606]

: o you lot missed out Fast and the furious the film is about cars and at the end they do a drive by on bikes with uzis managing to miss all the main charters and hit some guy i cant remeber the name of!!

i also blame this movie for the motive for anyone wanting to "do up" a nova but that is a hole different story in itself

[Mark312]

There's also the Clint Eastwood film, one of the Dirty Harry sagas I think, with the hero pinching some poor guys Harley, and riding it around a park somewhere chasing the madman. From memory, Clinty boy actually rides the bike, as he's no helmet, and rides in his trademark brown two piece suit and brown shoes. Shoot me down, but I think that one deserves a higher cool rating!!

(Except for the lack of safety gear worn...
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Currently Moto Guzzi 750 Strada, Moto Guzzi V35 Florida, previously Honda CB125T, RD250LC, RD80MX

[Sparks!]

Theres a nice BMW bike chase seen in Paycheck.

Loads of bike stunts in jackie chan films like Rumble in the Bronx, meals on wheels..

A few trials stunts in Tony Jaa's Warrior King.

Nice stunts in CRANK ..

Theres loads of bike stunts about
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Current Toys: 06 Yamaha WR250F | Nissan 350Z GT | Tech 4 Homes

[hellkat]

Its not some new fad to have bikes in movies.

Although the annoying fad of Hollywood people buying some big flash bike and thinking they are cool and "proper bikers" (yay! the proper biker argument rears its ugly head), is an entirely different thing.

I'm sure there may be more, but the only one I can think of at present who has ridden long term, not just for "cool factor effect" is Cher, who's had a bike for YONKS - at least as long as since she was hanging out with Greg(?) Allman, and possibly before.

But then, she's always been kind of cool.
In a weird sort of way
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[SimonB]

Going somewhere slighty different but has any one noticed how bikes are being used more offen in music videos.

One that springs to mind was a girls aloud video sorry can't remember the name of the song probably as I didn't like the song.

Anyway I did think that it was a bit pointless and unnecessary.
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Bikes: Honda CBR250RR [sold], Yamaha FZR600 [sold], Honda CBR600RR6

[SoND]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDGX1T7dy18

The crash in this puff daddy video is hillarious. It's near the start.
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Go back to bed - You have no rights - "Streetfighters ~ Mainstream motorcycling's crackwhore sister."

[colin1]

[yambabe]

[G]

[G]

Oh and there's Dark Angel, where her ZZR changes into a KLE (I think) when she does jumps.
But it's made up for with having her in it .