So you think you're having a bad day

[athelstan]

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear.

The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.

She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it
outside.

She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.

About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming.

Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, letting go of the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

[Mr.Everready]

Jackanory time.
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the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section

[Finglonga]

[angryjonny]

So I was working on this building site and I was putting some bricks in a bucket and lowering them to the ground on a pulley and...

[Mr.Everready]

So I was working on this building site and I was putting some bricks in a bucket and lowering them to the ground on a pulley and...then went for my luch ?
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the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section

[Mark312]

How's the arm, Athelstan...
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Currently Moto Guzzi 750 Strada, Moto Guzzi V35 Florida, previously Honda CB125T, RD250LC, RD80MX

[Speedy3]

i cant help but laugh

LMAO

[phatstorage]

oh dear that's like when i had that priceless painting and i walked across the road next to the 2 guys holding a large pane of glass ....................................................

kind of reminds me of the dr. pepper advert with the guy in the shop getting one out of the fridge and say"whats the worst that could happen"................................

[TheShaggyDA]

https://www.snopes.com/embarrass/accident/toilet.asp

[Pete.]

I know a guy who was working on his car and sliced his leg open. He didn't even realise until he felt his jeans wet from the blood. He went indoors and said "Mum, look". His mum shrieked and said to his brother "take him to the hospital quick". His brother ran up the stairs to get his trainers and broke his toe on the top step. The mum ended-up taking them both to casualty
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a.k.a 'Geri'

132.9mph off and walked away. Gear is good, gear is good, gear is very very good

[GearboxGeezer]

Lol, If I had his luck, Id stay well clear from motorbikes, heck I would think twice about stepping outside my house... I would just sit in a dark room in the courner...

Just thought I would share that with you

[phatstorage]

[wilbur]

[TheShaggyDA]

It is.

https://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.asp
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Current: CB500 Previous: CB100N, CB250RS, XJ900F, GT550, GPZ750R/1000RX, AJS M16, R100RT, Enfield Bullet

[i:6e3bfc7581]But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman...[/i:6e3bfc7581]

[angryjonny]

I tell you what though... I know this guy who knows this guy who knows this guy who lived with a guy that went to a party, got drunk and woke up in a bath of ice and...

[Johnny GSX-R]

I locked myself out of the house a few years back, it was a red hot day and my neighbour was sat in the garden. I went to 'Phil' and asked if he still had his ladders, so i could get in through the bedroom window, he replied " Yeh no problem, infact, i'll go up as i'm smaller than you"

So, 'Phil' proceeded to climb the ladder, he was only wearing shorts and flip flops and i knew it was going to be ugly.
'Phil' had consumed a few glasses of lager during the afternoon and so by this time was quite jolly and he was whistling as he climbed through the window.............the whistle turned to an almighty " FOR FUCKS SAKE"
'Phil' had placed one foot on my window ledge but his flip flop had slipped and he caught his 'Jacobs' on the window catch tearing his nut sack .
After a few moments my front door opened, it was my mum coming to see what all the noise was She was in all the time!!!
'Phil' then appeared from upstairs with his shorts pulled to the side with his 'Jacobs' hanging out spewing with blood..."Look at my balls" he shouted "For fucks sake man, my balls are ripped".
'Phil's Mrs ran him to hospital to get his bag sewn up, that was the end of his sunbathing for one weekend

Thanks 'Phil'


Mum still hasn't recoved from seeing the neighbours conkers poking out of his shorts as he ran downstairs.