essex girls...

[LUXY DJ]

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
> How many children?" asks the council worker.
> 10" replies the Essex girl
> 10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"
> Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
> Doesn't that get confusing?"
> Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in
> the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO
> BED NOW and they all do it..."
> What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council
> worker.
> That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames"
>
>
>
>
> An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
> the counter. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress."she says.
> Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
> No" she replies.
> This time it's mayonnaise."
>
>
>
> Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
> The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
> She says "I'll take the red one."
> The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
>
>
>
>
> An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
> The paramedics soon arrive on site.
> Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
> Girl: "OK"
> Medic: "What's your name?"
> Girl: "Sharon."
> Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
> Sharon: "Yes."
> Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
> Sharon: "Romford, mate."
>
>
>
> An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her
> boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that
> there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
> It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"
>
>
>
>
>
> Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; There's blood
> everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till
> she's lying flat out on the floor.
> Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
> Sharon: "Ok."
> Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
> Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
>
>
>
> An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices
> something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
> She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of
> your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"
>
> So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, Well,
> oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me roight foot
> and the one wit the L is for me Left foot"
> Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C&A
> on them.



____________________
GSXR750
(FAR FAR from standard) www.gixerjunkies.net

[Whosthedaddy]

Is nt the whole Essex Girl joke thing a little 1992?

By the way, check out my location on the map
____________________
Current : MSX 125 Past : CBR 900RR Monkeybike : c50 LAC : ZXR750 H2 : FZR600 : ZX7R P3 : YW100 : TRX850: Trophy 900 T309 : GSXR 600 L0: Monkeybike : XJ6S Whosthedaddy

[LUXY DJ]

well yea but its still got its truths


& as ur not a essex FEMALE i assume you've got essex female friends,family,misses


____________________
GSXR750
(FAR FAR from standard) www.gixerjunkies.net

[paulodd]

[m0l0t0v]

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; There's blood
> everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till
> she's lying flat out on the floor.
> Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
> Sharon: "Ok."
> Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
> Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

That one I have not heard ebfore and had me in stitches!
____________________
'99 Hornet 600 , VFR 400 NC30 '92 , Kasawamasaki GT 550 , '98 Hornet 600
**\Tarmacsurfer/** said: It's that immaculately manly coiffure of yours isn't it. One glimpse of your virile locks and the punters can't wait to buy whatever it is you suggest, as it might let them be just a little bit like the Adonis that is our very own Molly Doovydoo said: Its not my fault I can't get it up properly, I just wasn't blessed

[Groove]

Ive heard youve had some dirty ones though paul?
____________________
|| Past: 1991 Kawasaki ZXR 250 ~ 2003 Honda CBR 600 F Sport ~ 2004 Kawasaki ZX6R B1H 636 ~ 1999 Yamaha R1 ~ 1999 Kawasaki ZX6R J ~ 2004 Kawasaki ZX6R B1H 636 ~ 1998 Honda VTR1000F Firestorm ~ K1 GSXR 600 Track bike ~ K6 GSXR 1000 ~ 2006 Speed Triple 1050 || Current: 2005 R1 https://www.adrucore.co.uk

[paulodd]