Courtroom Quotes

Edicap · Spanner Monkey Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Karma :

These made me piss myself laughing

https://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml
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Honda CBR600F

MarkJ · World Chat Champion Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Karma :

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Laughing

Edicap · Spanner Monkey Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Karma :

I liked this one...

Lawyer - "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man"

Witness - "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

Twisted Evil

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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and preserved piece, but to slide across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting GERONIMO!!!

Honda CBR600F

nick606 · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 Nov 2006 Karma :

Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."

ahahahahaahahahahhaahah Thumbs Up

Method · World Chat Champion Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Karma :

absolutely fantastic!!!!!

That will be spread around work tomorow!
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LUXY DJ · World Chat Champion Joined: 25 Sep 2005 Karma :

Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."

Thumbs Up

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shorty · Scooby Slapper Joined: 23 Jul 2004 Karma :

Comfortably my favourite (and has been since I read this list about 6 years ago Wink

)

* Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
* Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
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Sephiroth · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Apr 2006 Karma :

It's like reading a list full of Colin quotes.