What a lovely view......

[Kris]

Thought I'd share this with you lot...

I'm moving out of my one bedroom shithole flat soon, but I'm suddenly a bit sad. Why? Well, it's because last night somebody replaced the view from my bedroom window.
It used to be a view of dirty pavements and a litter strewn road but now it's a nice mashed up boy-racer dickhead's car! Turns out the nob-end from down the road has buried his souped-up* Saxo in a traffic island. Shame. If I had a digi-camera I'd show you lot so we can all laugh at him.

*Souped-up, well not quite.... Looks standard (base-model) apart from the eyebrows over the lights, bean-can exhaust, wheel trims that 'look like' alloys (WTF?), SAXO written all over it, and wait for it........a big "STEVE" sticker in the back window! He had it coming!

[Korn]

Awesome

I've got a boy racer catalogue book at home (hey, it came free with a bike parts catalogue for some reason, ok...) and some of the things you can buy are fucking hilarious:

Brakes fading? How about a set of plastic frisbees with holes drilled into them which you stick over the drum brakes and pretend to be racing discs? (Pull over son, your calipers have fallen off)

Nope? Ok then, why not give your mini metro instant street cred by installing a little compressor gadget which makes the sound of a turbo wastegate every time you push the clutch in (yep, even works with the engine off).

Still not enough? Alright, fork over £200 for the ultimate performance tuneup - a small black box which you wire into the rev counter and your sound system to mimic the sound of other cars [*]. Clapped out Fiesta bombing down Egham high street sounding like a Formula 1 car anyone?

Or maybe a "high performance" exhaust?

https://www.beaterz.com/reviews/0300/p49_mega_pipe/mega_pipe_back_right.jpg
Little kids could get lost in there!

[*] I swear to god, they actually sell this thing as a "performance accessory"

[Kris]