Question for guys... but all are welcome too, if it applies.

[Mary Jane]

I was at work today, chatting with a couple of the girls who sit at the front desk. They asked how my Valentines day was, and so I told them about how my BF had remembered what kind of chocolates I liked from a conversation we had 2 years ago and sent them to me along with some flowers. One of them is fairly new, so she didn't know my BF is English.

I got asked all the silly questions, told them how we met, etc. Then, the other girl looked at me with her eyes all big and says, "But does he know how smart you are???"

... as though it was some dirty secret I needed to be ashamed of.

That led me to thinking: why do girls play dumb? Girls who are smart and keep up and learn quickly their first few years of school will suddenly claim they "can't do math" or just "don't get science" once they're about 11 or 12. I saw it myself. I didn't play dumb at first around that age, which was maybe why the boys in my History class would torment me, even spitting on me right in class. I didn't understand what I'd done to them to deserve it.

Maybe it was becuase I was smart? I'd always been a few grade levels ahead, always placed in the advanced "honors" classes. My History class was the first non-honors class I'd taken.

I began playing dumb.

I'd still get As on all my tests, still participate in my honors classes, where I wasn't afraid to be smart... but otherwise, I played dumb. Suddenly, people liked me a lot more.

After a year of that, I was tired of being someone I wasn't, and fortunately by then it didn't matter so much anymore.

Now, I work in IT. I train people who already have a lot of experience in the industry on new products, and give them more in-depth technical training. Advanced trainings. It's something I love, and something I'm really good at. But the girls I work with have always been in awe about it. Most of the other instrustors are male; it's the majority of who I teach as well. Such is the structure of the industry.

But why do those girls think it's such a bad thing for him to know about me? Are they afraid that if he knew, I'd no longer be desirable? Is a smart woman undesirable? Is she intimidating?

[Ste]

[Mary Jane]

The question should read Do, not Go.

gah! ><

[0ddball]

[_Will_]

Not at all, at least you can have a decent conversation, mouthy, backwards and forcefull women are more likely to intimidate.
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[Dan 4RR]

I find women who are intelligent more interesting than those women who talk all day long about Hollywood and celebrities
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[angryjonny]

Thinking about it, my ideal woman is clever but badly educated. Most of me wants a girl I can have an intelligent conversation with - a girl whose opinions I can appreciate and respect, even if I don't necessarily agree with them. Then somewhere underneath all that there's my primitive alpha-male persona who wants to be able to teach a girl stuff and feels inadequate if my girl knows something I don't.

Ultimately, you can't win. Either you're dumb or I'm inadequate.

[Silver]

Not sure you'll get a fair response here. Not that blokes would purposely lie to a question like this but, in my experience, some blokes subconciously like a woman less intelligent than they are. Can't answer why. Personally I like a woman who will catch me out occassionally and keep me on my toes (mentally, before anyone reads more into that last comment than is intended...!).

[gavin]

i cant stand dippy, hopeless, helpless women. i like a girl who knows her own mind and isnt afraid to use it.

that said.....i'd like a girl who knows her own mind but understands that theres a time and a place to use it
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[_Will_]

What about you ladies, do you prefer an intelligent man, or a slow caveman type?
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[scorps]

I work at a company where I am in a position of authority, I am older than all but one of the staff in the office but the youngest is 30 and the others between 35 and 40. I have been lucky enough to have had a decent education and to have travelled around the world. Now in reality the directors and their wives who all work with me have managed to set up a successful company based more on knowlege of the job through experience than brains.
I have to listen to conversations based on their lives around pubs children shopping and benidorm which bores me intensley but when i mention my experiences they accuse me of being a know all. This really pisses me off as I am not ashamed to be intelligent and well travelled. I find that most of my ideas to make positive changes in the company are laughed off or the favourite phrase "you aren't paid to think" is chucked at me frequently, so i sit watching bad decisions bring about the very things i try to stop from happening etc and its soul destroying. I remain there as they at least acknowlege my experience with a good salary and while they make out they know everything I get called when im off to sort out things they can't deal with. What keeps me going is the fact that i am going to be moving soon . I think herding cats would be less stressful to be honest. I find myself dumbing down just for a quiet life. it sucks it really does
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Do not presume that I am male.

[Mary Jane]

[mazz]

To be honest I've found a lot of guys struggle to strike up a conversation with a woman in a good job who are well educated, my mum used to get ignored at my fathers work nights out because of her job a lot of men didnt know what to say to her and found it intimidating so ignored her so now when she is asked she just tells them, "I work in Glasgow" because that way they keep talking to her. I'd like to point out however that she in no way brags about her brains or anything and anyone meeting her at the first time could easily think that she is a bit simple, it's just easier that way.

By the same token because of my mother's views and previous stigmas, I have been brought up the same, the "it's ok to be smart, just don't let people know about it" attitude. Whilst at an orchestra trip to the Salzburg Mozart Music Festival last summer we were staying in a hostel and one of the men there with us was going around boasting that he was the best at chess and he could beat everyone else there because he was so intelligent (yes it was a pain in the butt), so I offered to play him, he laughed at me telling him that he would beat me no problem because I was just stupid and ditzy, I beat him easily in less than five minutes, the man in question went in a huff, threw chess pieces over the place and didn't speak to me for two days because he didn't believe that someone as "thick" as me could have been a chess champion

Anyhow sorry about the rant, it does frustrate me at times that people can't let a woman be intelligent without intimidation, it's all these old fashioned attitudes that still float about that people deny are still out there

[m0l0t0v]

Not at all. My girlfriend is much smarter than me And I'm not intimidated in any way. I actually like the fact that if I don't get something or I don't know something then I cna ask her and she'll probably know. Althought she doesn't get some jokes...

Me: What's the difference between a chav girl and a chav boy?
GF: Er... what?
Me: Chav girl has a higher sperm count
Gf: Do they grow balls or something?


There's some girls at my college who act dumb and they irritate me. Can't stand being in the same room with them.
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[bazza]

i votid kno, but that becos i are inteligant
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[Mary Jane]

I can't rate anymore posts today....

[strawberry]

It depends entirely on the woman (or man for that matter). Sometimes intelligence is initmidating, other times not. However, just because someone is intimidating due to their intelligence it doesn't make them undesirable; on the contrary it can make them seem even more attractive.
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"when i look down i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up i just trip over things"

[Dave McCool]

My response is no, I'm not intimidated by intelligence.

I admire intelligence and/or talent, and I'm always fascinated by people who are cleverer than me in a particular subject, or better than me at something. I endeavour to keep these people around me as much as I can, but I wouldn't say it has any particular effect on my choice of girls.

In terms of women, I would say that at a conscious level, I honestly don't make any judgements on anyone based on their intelligence. What makes the difference as far as I'm concerned is their personality (that sounds like I'm claiming not to be at all shallow; that's not true, but also it's irrelevant here).

I have a lot of mates back home, and without putting too fine a point on it, they're not as clever, in an academic sense, as me. Only one of my male friends is at Uni; the rest went straight into jobs after school/college. I can't imagine myself doing what they did, they can't imagine doing what I did, but none of it ever gets in the way of the fact that we're mates.

The girls back home are, on the whole, a lot cleverer than the guys, but again, this simply doesn't come into anything; if you saw us as a group you'd just see a group of people who'd do anything for each other at the drop of a hat, with no issues about intelligence between any of us.

In terms of girls specifically, I would say that a girl being intelligent certainly wouldn't put me off. I can't stand girls playing dumb. I had a girlfriend like this a few years back. She played dumb while we were around other people, and it drove me mad, because I knew that when we were alone, she was far from it, and that was why I loved her.

I've also been with some girls who weren't as clever, and yet when this became clear in front of friends, it didn't annoy me one bit, because they were being themselves, and they were genuinely nice people, and that's a lot more important.

I'm aware that this sounds like a slightly idealistic answer, and to an extent it is; I'm far from perfect, and, indeed, at times I'm not a very nice person at all.

Although a girl's intelligence may not affect whether or not I want to be with her; the way I treat her may well be.

I'm very much more likely to mess about a girl who's not particularly clever than I am a girl of higher intelligence.

I guess it's probably because I feel I'd be more likely to get away with it (and so far, so good ), and therefore, in some twisted way, I suppose I believe that what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I should point out that I'm 19, and I will grow out of this, I'm just having some fun while I'm still young.
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[Redliner]

I LOVE intelligent women; I stroke off to bookwormbitches.com all the time!
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Learning...

[Louise]

OH is quite intelligent - whys shes with me ill never know
But yes, I do find a bit intimidated sometimes.

[techierob]

[Trixie]

I think it depends on the person and their perception of "intelligence"? Personally, I couldn't give a toss how "clever" people are - it's their attitude and personality I'm more interested in.

I'm an "officially" intelligent woman - a Mensa member. Now this isn't something I'll go blabbing to all and sundry just for the sake of it, although I'll bring it up in conversation provided it's relevant - which I reckon at the moment it is. Most of my mates were genuinely happy for me when I passed the exams, but there were some people (unfortunately mainly men) whose attitudes completely changed towards me as a result, and seemed to genuinely dislike/resent me because of it - and that's something I've never been able to get my head round - why??? Was it that they felt intimidated? Maybe some men/people think I'm bragging, when that's not true - I did the exam to prove something to me; nobody else! So there!!

I had a similar thing at school, where I was the quiet one in the top groups - nobody wanted to know me and I got bullied an awful lot. People also used to say things like "ooh, don't you use big words!" - which is never something I did consciously. Now this isn't a sob story, BTW - this is telling it as it was, that's all.

As many people have said, "dumbing down" is sometimes the way to go - be intelligent, but don't let people know it too much! What a shame that people (not just women) are frowned upon for using their brains, though...
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[feef]

I find intelligence incredibly attractive... I put a good mind on a par with good looks... in the longer term.. I'd put it slightly higher.

but then I have been told I'm strange

a
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[Feasty]

I'm not intimidated, but then the Missus isn't as intelligent as me!

I went to Uni but ended up failing my course for having too much fun and not working.... She on the other hand ended up with 2 degrees and a masters, passing all with distinctions!
So currently I work in IT on less than 20k without much stress and have a laugh with the blokes I work with. She is a consultant in a very large company earning more than twice what I earn and can hardly sleep with the stress and politics that go on... her choice.

We live in a large house with a nice car and my bike, and have brill holidays - mostly on her money... now who's the most intelligent!?

[SoulRider]

I answered yes as they dont intimidate but intelligent women ive met (ok probably due to people ive mixed with) tend to talk down to you and try to be-little you. I occasionally get the feeling from them of jealousy and some people because of this instantly take a dislike to me.

No idea why but everybody loves me

I have met a few women who have been very good friends and some are incredibly intelligent and will no doubt go on to lead a great life. But i suppose its as the saying goes one rotten apple spoils the bunch. Well i think thats the saying but basically because ive met women like the above it makes me have a bit of a stereotypical view of them.
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