Stepdad just walked out

[matt89]

I dont really post on here alot anymore but im in fucking pieces at the moment.

After a day at my stepdads sisters house for mothers day we got back at about 7pm. I have a 2yr old sister and a 5yr old brother which my mum and step dad put to bed then my stepdad went out. Now at 10.30 tonight he still wasnt back and i found my mum in bed in tears this is when she told me he had left Now me and him dont get on too well but i am fucking fuming, my mum is a perfect wife to him did everything he wanted gave him the kids he wanted then he goes and fucking does this, no reason just says i cant do it anymore and walked out. i am so angry at him, she doesnt deserve this and the only thing i want is for her to be happy. He has left her with 2 young kids and no income, she also has to support me and my 15yr old sister aswell, how the hell is she gonna manage? I hate him for this and i dont know what i will do when/ if he comes back to get his stuff. mostly i am so upset for my mum, i will always be there for her no matter what but i am so angry at the moment and fucked up in the head.

Sorry if this is repetitive and makes no sense but i had to get this off my chest as it is fucking me up inside

Thanks for taking the time to read this sorry if it isnt what you want to hear at the moment

Matt

[Trip]

Feel for you mate.

Be there for your mum and try not to be too vengeful...

If he does come back dont jump on him straight away, he may need to explain things to your mum and you dont want to get in the way of that.

I cant really give any practical advice RE benefits or the like but she'll certainly get something with 4 dependents and no income.

Once again sorry mate but everything happens for a reason no?
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Bike: Yamaha XJ600N Mileage: 28500 Miles Rider Mileage: Many Miles
CBT: PASSED Theory: PASSED Test: PASSED
Past-CG125 Present - Yamaha XJ600N Future - WHO KNOWS?

[matt89]

I will be there for her she knows that, i have told her that many a time that i will be there whatever she needs.

I will have to leave the house when he comes back i wont be able to stay around him without saying anything.

It is just the timing of it and the way he did it, hopefully he will be back and it will sort it out because its the second time it has hapened to her and she really doesnt deserve it she is starting to blame it all on herself now which isnt right because it isnt her, i feel like its more down to me, we were always falling out and he was always down my throat, i was gonna move into my dads tommorow to get out the way but i just cant do that now and leave her on her own

She is in the middle of traing to be a driving instructor so i am going to help her do that now because i want her to at least have one positive thing in her life at the moment

Matt

[Trip]

Matt im afraid all you can do is be there for her.

Tell her what she wants to hear (it will probably be the truth anyway)

And if she needs to cry let her cry.

However if he does come back for the foreseeable future maybe it would be best if you went to live with your dad, you dont want to inadvertently make things more difficult than they already are.

Just make sure she's alright and that she doesnt fall apart too much especially with your little brother and sister.
____________________
Bike: Yamaha XJ600N Mileage: 28500 Miles Rider Mileage: Many Miles
CBT: PASSED Theory: PASSED Test: PASSED
Past-CG125 Present - Yamaha XJ600N Future - WHO KNOWS?

[matt89]

i will go and live with my dad if he comes back i dont want to fuck her life up she means too much to me

[Trip]

Mate you wont fuck her life up.

You'll always be more important to her than him, even if she doesnt tell you
____________________
Bike: Yamaha XJ600N Mileage: 28500 Miles Rider Mileage: Many Miles
CBT: PASSED Theory: PASSED Test: PASSED
Past-CG125 Present - Yamaha XJ600N Future - WHO KNOWS?

[matt89]

i know that but it will feel to me like i haved fucked her life up

[Trip]

Relationships are fucked up things mate.

If you think your mum would truly benefit from you moving out then do it.

However if you think it will get in the way of your relationship with her then dont do it.

Relationships will come and go but your stuck with your mum so make the most of it
____________________
Bike: Yamaha XJ600N Mileage: 28500 Miles Rider Mileage: Many Miles
CBT: PASSED Theory: PASSED Test: PASSED
Past-CG125 Present - Yamaha XJ600N Future - WHO KNOWS?

[matt89]

she wont benefit from it now but i believe she would of if he was still here,

i wont be out her life because my dad only lives 20mins away so i would pop over to see her when he wasnt here, its just my little bro and sis i am worried about now and my mum

[Trip]

Probably something you should talk to her about.

Not now obviously you'll have to see what happens in the next few days.

Really feel for you mate just keep your chin up
____________________
Bike: Yamaha XJ600N Mileage: 28500 Miles Rider Mileage: Many Miles
CBT: PASSED Theory: PASSED Test: PASSED
Past-CG125 Present - Yamaha XJ600N Future - WHO KNOWS?

[matt89]

i cant leave her now she will need me other wise she will be on her own with a 2, 5 and 15 kids which i cant do to her, she is not stong enough to cope with it

[Trip]

No sorry mate i meant if he comes back.

If he doesnt obviously stay and help your mum through this difficult time.

Mum's are stronger than you think though mate. They just try not to show weakness...
____________________
Bike: Yamaha XJ600N Mileage: 28500 Miles Rider Mileage: Many Miles
CBT: PASSED Theory: PASSED Test: PASSED
Past-CG125 Present - Yamaha XJ600N Future - WHO KNOWS?

[plugger147]

Don't go jumping in feet first, I know you feel like tearing into him but if you do that you will fuck things right up. Your little brother and sister will be losing out if they get a sense of any hostility between you and there dad. Do whatever you can to not be around when he's there, if you do feel the need to have it out with him go elsewhere and do it and steer clear of him at the house.

Just support your mam as you intend but don't get dragged into any rows, The little one's aren't going to understand whats going on so don't forget to spend a little extra time with them too.

Good luck buddy, hope your mam's feeling better soon too.
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Tristan the wrote: just whipped off my trousers to find a big bruise on my arse, caused by matt rear ending me...

[BanditBitch]

[bennett211085]

This is the way I feel about my previous step-dad.

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=109338

[phil_DT]

Im in a similar position at the moment as well. My mum has been married to my stepdad for 8 years now and me and him have never seen eye to eye, We had a argument that resulted in me punching him I was 15 at the time and I moved out to live with my real dad the day after. My mum was in pieces and I felt guilty about leaving her and my 13 yr old sister alone to deal with him. 6 months later i couldnt take it anymore and I moved back in to support them both. The marriage wasnt working and they are now going through the divorce process. All you can really do is be there for your mum and help her get through it. Fighting makes things a whole lot worse. I have learnt from that mistake.
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1992 DT80MX with Gianelli zorst and Mallosi Carb. Goes through engines faster than tyres.....

[matt89]

well he has decided to come back tonight and i have tried to completely avoid him. I will give it a few days to see what he is like with my mum then if he is ok with her i will go and stay with my dad for a few weeks

[cqueen]

Dont mean to sound out of order but the government will pick up the financial pieces (this is the step dads fault) ...(and the governmets).

[matt89]

why will they?

[cqueen]

single mum + 4 kids = ££££

[matt89]

thats bollocks

[Louise]

Did he fartherd your Bro/Sis? Or was that from a previous relationship?
If he did then she can screw him child maintenance
And the 4 kids - ££££ not alwasy the way.
The gov gives me £17.50 to provide for Josh. In his side thats £70ish a week.
I know that £17.50 for Josh dosnt cover jack shit.

[cqueen]

[matt89]

[Louise]