food related accident

[-Savage-]

after mistaking my finger for a piece of cheese while making a sandwich there, im 1 finger down while typing lol

but it reminded my of a fellow i used to do karate with, the night before one of the national comps, he couldnt sleep. so he decided to make a sandwich at about 3 in the morning. he got out of bed, went down stairs, and proceeded to make his food. only trouble is since he was quite tired, he was also quite clumbsy, and dropped his knife , since he wasnt wearing shoes, the knife went straight through his foot and he had to miss the competition as he was in A&E lol

also while camping one time, i was frying sausages. the oil went on fire so i grabbed the pan, but the oil slopped out all over my leg and set my leg on fire...3 miles up a mountain....with a full load of camping gear to bring back down lol that was a long walk/hobble



any food related injuried yourselves?
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[pwntifex]

I once choked in a rather prolonged manner on fried chicken skin while dining in a tiny, outhouse-like shack with four other people in the mountains of Crete.
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the warped one: This is a follow up from the thread 'my willy hurts'

[Jull]

Just the usual blisters on the roof of my mouth from very hot pizza.

Remember the George Bush pretzel incident? Don't know why the terrorists are planning such intricate schemes when a salty snack nearly finished him off, just buy him another packet

[MaybeGuy]

ive had an orange thrown at my head and got a black eye from it.
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[Rookie]

I lost most of a thumbnail chopping cabbage at work when I was 14. It's probably still somewhere in the Webbington Hotel swimming pools' filters, it fell off a week later.

[alliamc]

I've got a burn scar on my left arm from trying to pour a kettle when I was 3 and an oil burn from making pancakes with too much oil instead of not very much butter. And I also got hit by a flying orange at school when I was 14. Oh and a cucumber slice brought out my wobbly tooth years ago. No recent food mishaps unless you consider Ikea's meatballs giving me food poisoning, but then that could've been something from my ward so I wouldn't like to solely blame the meatballs. Rambling on at 5.40am, it's been a long night.
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Alli x
https://www.bikepics.com/members/alliamc/

[Louise]

Being a Chef Ive had a few minor mishaps.
One that will stick to mind is Steve, He almost lost his thumb.
Cutting up some veg with brand new blades he missed the veg and sliced his thumb just above the knuckle. After ranting and raving you could see the fat and the bone
shipped him off to Hospital, but the stupid idiot decided to wrap it up, and sit on the bar drinking to numb the pain
Any-hoo hour later, blood on the bar he finally went to get it stitched.

[Dragonfly]

When Country fried chicken first released their chillie chicken kababs i had one. I also had to down 3 litres of water to cool my mouth and go to the doctor for this paste stuff as my tongue was that badly blistered.

Other injuries involve certain foods passing through small holes at great speed, some of which would be considered as injuries depending on what you eat.
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[MattHirst]

I once choked on a polo about 2 years back....i went blue and loads of funny colours aparently.

Had to be sexually abused from behind to make me cough it up.

Saying that..polo's are the only thing i have ever properly chocked on..I don't recall choking on anything apart from polos (Well...never fruity polos, just mint ones )

Edit - While being very drunk, we decided to stick a few chocolate buttons up a mates sisters ass while she was asleep...that resulted in a black eye and a bust lip.....if that counts

Well worth it though..she genuinly thought she had shit herself LOL

[MementoMori]

Nothing major for me, just burning and choking...

One that sticks out for me is when my dad made me a corned beef sandwich and the meat thing came in slices with a thin strip of plastic round the edge that my dad forgot to take off and I didn't notice as it was inside bread.

So after a while, something feels really uncomfortable and I notice I have some plastic in my mouth, I go to pull it out and realise the rest of it is stuck down my throat, so I have to start pulling this piece of plastic out of my innards, like that woman in The Ring where she pulls out that electrode thing.

I was gagging and retching all over the place and being about 8 had not had experience in controlling reflexes!

And that, my friends, was the last time I ate corned beef.



(And once as I kid I was eating angel cake and it pulled a loose tooth out and I had to spit into a sink and go through the half eaten cake, spit and blood to find my tooth, that was nice.)
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The tiger who came for a pint

[Icey]

I manage to choke on tea on a regular occurance.

Not sure how
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[Ariel Badger]

Many years ago I lived in Milton Keynes (if you can call it living).
I was preparing dinner for a lady friend. Part of the preparation involved chopping Scotch Bonnet Chillies. When the food was simmering I had a shower to make me smell shagable, I of course washed my face and my nob. Then the chillies kicked in.
I managed to blindly stumble to the fridge and found a strawberry yogurt and plunged my flaming cock into it.

The door bell rang......
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[MaybeGuy]

were you like 'hi, make yourself at home, im just having a quick fondue, want to try it?'.
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[craigie b]

I've got a scar on my finger from trying to pry a bottle of orange juice open witha butter knife, which matches the other one from putting my hand through a pain of glass, which matches my thumb since I slammed it in a car door at full force. The scar on my heel seems to have healed, which is surprising given I stood on a 6 inch rusty nail but the the two scars on my head from toy wrestling remain along with the other three which stemmed from being on the receiving end of a metal bar at force on the aforementioned nogan. Never mind the scare above my eye from being punched nor the lump out of my forehead where I decided playing chicken with another kid on a swing was a brilliant idea.

lol, and as of today, I'm now sporting a smashing big lump on my fore arm after I ran into a frigging concrete post whilst out running. Never dropped a knive through my foot though, touch wood.