Advice please - what would you do??

Duckyboos · Traffic Copper Joined: 06 Jul 2006 Karma :

Long post warning...

Approximately ten weeks, four days and 11 hours ago, I bagged me a Glasto ticket. Well, three actually. One for me, one for the b/f and one for his mate, who incidentally he also works with. So we're all off to Glasto, I've never been nefore, and I've been bubbling over with excitement ever since. I've shelled out loadsa money on a tent, camping gear and all the appropriate bits 'n' pieces (and some new wellies with daisies on), and I'm also off to the hair-doers on Saturday morning to get some hand-dyed mohair wool ('Summer Berries' it's called...very pretty) braided into my hair so that I don't have to worry about it for the week (it'll walk off my head on day 3 if I don't wash it). I've booked the time off work (I booked it in early Feb, as soon as we decided we wanted to go) and I've also started a mini war amongst my bosses, because I'm supposed to be taking over my manager's job at the end of June, and his entire caseload with it. With me being away for a week, it's had to be postponed until mid-July and my manager ain't happy.

Anyway. We're in the kitchen tonight, Tom (the b/f) and I, and he lets slip that there's a bit of objection to him taking the time off. He didn't book the time off in Feb when I told him to... he never does anything that I advise him to do for the best, must get a kick out of me telling him that I told him so. Instead, his mate got there first (he's the kind who always get there first) and Tom booked his holiday at the beginning of April. Apparently nobody's actually said he could have the time off, seeing as there was already one guy off (his mate) and they said they'll consider it nearer the time. But they've done buggerall about it, just put his name on the holiday chart with a '?' next to it. And now that we're one week from the event, they're kicking off about it.

Tom's already lined up someone to cover the four days that he's away - a chap who used to work there and now works freelance. They also hired a 'manager' for Tom in mid-June, who - as his manager - should surely be able to much in and cover absences? They're not going to be particularly busy for that week, it's likely to be a 9-5 week with no major jobs on. AND Tom's given them 10 weeks to sort out appropriate cover.

We're rowing good an proper about this now... thought it's more of a monologue than a dialogue. It f'kin stinks, and I want to ring his sodding boss up and tell him what I think. Incidentally, his boss has 'offered to have a word with me' about it, but I'd eat the bastard alive right now. His boss has also offered to pay for Tom's ticket, but he hasn't given any consideration to me, my expense here, and the fact that we've been looking forward to this for over three months. Tom's mates are also going, about 8 of them (all lads), and if push came to shove, I'd be welcome to tag along with them. I'm sure Tom'd be happy for me to go, if a little sad about it - that's the kinda guy he is. That wasn't what was intended though, and it wouldn't feel right somehow. If I don't find out what's happening by tomorrow, I'm reluctant to pay some bird 80 bucks to tie my hair in knots at the risk that I'll end up sitting on the sofa on Tuesday night, taking them out again.

I'm all-consumed with fury at the moment, proper mad. This also smacks of our only other 'proper' holiday together, nearly four years ago... we were supposed to be going with two other friends (not a couple tho), and one of them had to pull out before we booked. In the end, we had to go to Ibiza with Tom's meek girl friend playing gooseberry for the whole week, because nobody (other than me) thought it was a little weird... our first holibobs together in the sun, and him bringing a chum along... maybe it's just me, I dunno... imagine your new g/f bringing her bloke chum along on your first holiday together...

I'm proper hissed off Sad

yambabe · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

Your b/f needs to grow a spine Ducky.

No offence but although he might be a lovely bloke he is letting people walk all over him. For a start, tell his mate to whistle for his fucking ticket then he won't be able to go, won't need the time off and Tom will be fine to go with you.
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Duckyboos · Traffic Copper Joined: 06 Jul 2006 Karma :

It looks like his boss is waving his job at him. Nobody's mentioned the s-word, but he's been told that if he goes ahead, it could 'compromise his position with the firm'.

No word from his 'mate' either - not even one of support.

Tarmacsurfer · World Chat Champion Joined: 29 Jun 2004 Karma :

At the risk of sounding like a bad case of macho posturing, if his employer is resorting to that kind of threat over something this minor then personally I would be looking for another job around now. That particular brand of bullying is one of my biggest bugbears and as soon as an employer decides it's going to work on you then there will be all sorts of extra work appearing and strings being pulled. Particularly if the outfit is as halfarsed as your description makes it sound Confused

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Duckyboos · Traffic Copper Joined: 06 Jul 2006 Karma :

st3v3 · Super Spammer Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Karma :

Get 'em told Twisted Evil

never realized you were so close..he work for anyone known?
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Rookie · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Karma :

By comparison, I started a job 2 weeks ago on Monday, saw off 6 others with more experience, and the manager made sure I knew this, as he was expecting me to perform from the start (exceeded my performance by 1/3 this week Mr. Green

) and I asked them for the time off on my first day for Glastonbury. They said that wasn't a problem, and said I could either take the time off or take it as my holiday pay. I chose the latter, and now I'll be earning while I'm getting mashed at the festival. Sound nice? It bloody well is.

I'd be telling them I gave perfectly adequate notice, and that I'm going whatever they do, and firing me could see them in court.

Duckyboos · Traffic Copper Joined: 06 Jul 2006 Karma :

Well... I had my word with the boss, a fairly diplomatic one, and I made my point.

He said they can't make an exception in this case, by letting more than one member of the team have time off, because everyone else will expect the same allowances.

I've left it with them that they'll bear us in mind should anything change, or if anything can be done.

What a load of sh1t. I'm off to find myself another short haired bespectacled bloke who fancies coming to Glasto with me.

Edit: Sorry st3v3, just re-read your question. He works for a major Events Management company in Leeds. Too big to care, but clearly too small to cope wtihout him.

thegubner · World Chat Champion Joined: 25 Mar 2007 Karma :

I always find that making a list helps in these situations.

Duckyboos · Traffic Copper Joined: 06 Jul 2006 Karma :

The only 'list' of things I can think of at the moment is all the plans and occasions which have gone to pot over the last few years because one's o/h is married to his job.

But no more, rest assured.

Jull · Spanner Monkey Joined: 11 Mar 2007 Karma :

Get him to phone in sick the week before - self certificate, then go to the doc and get signed off proper for 'stress' they can't do bugger all if you're off with a proper sicknote and if going away helps reduce stress they can't do much if they found out he went anyway.