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ASBO help wanted

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fredsredhat
Traffic Copper



Joined: 11 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: 19:19 - 12 Jul 2007    Post subject: ASBO help wanted Reply with quote
Hi all. it's my mate's 60th this weekend and we've got him a joke asbo. As i'm not witty or funny in any sense of the word i need a little help in what to put in it. It has blank feilds for what the asbo's for and what the restrictions are.

So... He's 60 and fitter than 80% of 21 year olds. He climbs (i've seen him lead a 7c indoor) he only ever eats good healthy food, he rides his fazer 1000 faster than pretty much everybody, plays the guitar quite badly but hes keen to learn. walks for miles. quite small and very toned/skinny.

any help?
Thanks, Nick.
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yambabe
World Chat Champion



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 23:47 - 12 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
ASBO is naturally for irritating the hell out of the younger generation then and the restrictions are:

Must eat at McDonalds at least twice a week

Not allowed to climb without the assistance of a zimmer frame

NO FUCKIN STAIRWAY!!!!!!!!!

Or alternatively must not play the guitar between the hours of 11.05am and 11.00 am inclusively

Must get bike restricted to 30mph without delay

Only allowed to ride bike wearing full protective fat suit

I'm sure there are others too but that's just off the top of my head.......
Very Happy
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Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate. Very Happy
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NickD
World Chat Champion



Joined: 20 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: 23:53 - 12 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
babyyam wrote:


NO FUCKIN STAIRWAY!!!!!!!!!


Surely at 60 that should be NO FUCKING STAIRLIFT!!!!! Very Happy
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I was only doing what it said on my licence officer....
Tear along the dotted line!
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Grav
World Chat Champion



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 23:55 - 12 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
Well you would know.......... Twisted Evil
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NickD
World Chat Champion



Joined: 20 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: 00:07 - 13 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
Cheeky bleeder, you've got to be twice my age, ........at least you look it! Middle Finger Very Happy
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I was only doing what it said on my licence officer....
Tear along the dotted line!
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Grav
World Chat Champion



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 00:20 - 13 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
babyyam wrote:
ASBO is naturally for irritating the hell out of the younger generation then and the restrictions are:

Must eat at McDonalds at least twice a week

Not allowed to climb without the assistance of a zimmer frame

NO FUCKIN STAIRWAY!!!!!!!!!

Or alternatively must not play the guitar between the hours of 11.05am and 11.00 am inclusively

Must get bike restricted to 30mph without delay

Only allowed to ride bike wearing full protective fat suit

I'm sure there are others too but that's just off the top of my head.......
Very Happy


Not allowed to reminisce about a time when this was all just fields.

Must not be seen in public with a flat cap on
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ZRX61
Victor Meldrew



Joined: 05 Nov 2003
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PostPosted: 03:59 - 13 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
Not allowed to own a whippet...
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Wafer_Thin_Ham
Super Spammer



Joined: 18 Nov 2005
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PostPosted: 10:06 - 13 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
Must sell Fazer thou and buy an Rs125.
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fredsredhat
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Joined: 11 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: 20:13 - 13 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
Ha ha quality ideas guys, thanks.
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st3v3
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Joined: 16 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 12:54 - 14 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
Big_Ham wrote:
Must sell Fazer thou and buy an Rs125.
Could it get any worse? Laughing
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Roger wrote: Women don't get damp for clingy puppies. Get some better happy pills, hit the gym & buy a medallion the size of a dinner plate. Job done
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gazzabo
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 13 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: 13:06 - 14 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote
st3v3 wrote:
Big_Ham wrote:
Must sell Fazer thou and buy an Rs125.
Could it get any worse? Laughing



Having a Vasectomy done by stevie Wonder with dessert spoons would be less painful .

thats just SICK Sick Sick Sick and more Sick


He is 60 For fouke Sake do you want to give him a heart attack Shocked
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RD50 < RD125 < 750 Zepher < Fazer 600 < FZ1000 , in silver/black , sex on wheels .
If you love your bike, set it free......
If it comes back you've high sided.
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 18 years, 197 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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