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Leggy_Girl
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PostPosted: 20:19 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: What's the best way to win over your parents... Reply with quote

when you really want a bike but they are over-protective, and anti bike?

It's not me, but my friend at work.

She really wants to get into biking and get a 125 and see how she goes, but her brother has kinda made it hard for her. He got knocked off his bike (not his fault though) and now thier mum thinks that bikes are the devil. She is also very close to her mum, so she really wont get a bike unless she can convince her (and a few other family members) that it's not such a big deal.

I had this problem but only on a very small scale, so i'm not sure how or if you can convince you parents that bikes are ok? My mum was against it at first, but she quickly warmed to the idea after i showed her i was serious about it. I have no idea how to deal with completely anti parents?

I know a lot of you guys have gone through this with your parents, so can you impart some wisdom on me please? Very Happy
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Fahd
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PostPosted: 20:23 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about starting off by buying a moped? they're not fast and they're not heavy. Very mummy friendly... Thumbs Up
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Paivi
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PostPosted: 20:33 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd start with something seen as 'less dangerous', such as a Vespa scooter, not a sporty one, as they look faster. She could ride that for a couple of years, hopefully without any mishaps, and then upgrade.

That's what I did and my parents didn't bat an eyelid when I told them I'm getting a Ducati the next weekend.

During that time, she could do her bike test, as well as advanced riding.
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MarkJ
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PostPosted: 20:41 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had this with my parents since I turned 17. I wanted transport and they always said they'd pay for car lessons but never bike. Soon as I got a job I went out and did my lessons and bought a bike, much to their displeasure. They still don't like it but there's nothing they can do about it.
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Fawbish
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PostPosted: 20:54 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her to put like a file together with all the bits and bobs about biking and how it can be safe when done correctly. Make sure you get all the good (well...bad) points of having a car as opposed to a bike there - such as "if i crash in a car, I could be burned alive" - okay, joking, but you get my drift Smile )

Making the file will automatically show how serious she is.


And eventually, if her mum really wont have it at all, and your friend still really wants to bike, but doesnt want to fall out with her mum, im afraid the old argument of "love her let her go" or "stop restricting me now, I need to find my own two feet, and spread my wings - i hate to say it mum, but youre stopping me from discovering what i could be good at, and what I really would enjoy"



And also "What, you dont trust me to be able to ride a bike? Because im a girl??" Very Happy
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Ariel Badger
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PostPosted: 20:56 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

If she has a best friend that rides get her to blow her dad.
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mr.z
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PostPosted: 21:02 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

My uncle was killed, very unpleasantly on his motorbike, so my parents weren't overly happy anyway.

I went out and got one anyway after dropping hints for a long time (just out of the blue they most likely have freaked right out) showing i'd not gone out and got a sports bike and that i was being very carefull getting equipment (how much it'd help who knows but to a none biker a bit of foam and the odd bit of armour shows care) stuff like that, getting a flourecent jacket e.t.c... reassures them.

The thing that bugs me is if I'd gone out and got a corsa and drove like a twat they'd probably not think twice about it. But that's how bikes are perceived, i can't say being in a box that squashes to 1/8th its size on impact with you strapped inside makes me feel much safer.

Another probably controversial thing.. MOST accidents are avoidable, ignoring whos at fault, defensive riding and watching what's going on at all times will keep you out of trouble most of the time. Deer running across your path and diesel on the other hand aren't so easy to avoid.
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J.K.R
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PostPosted: 21:16 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess i was more fortunate to be from a bike friendly family, Never had any bother, If anything i was more swayed towards them than away from them.

But i'm guessing like has been said, That getting her to make a point that she'll be wearing the neccesary protective eqiupment and that if your aware riding can be very safe and enjoyable...It should help them along with accepting it Thumbs Up
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TomR6
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PostPosted: 21:25 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had this, I've pretty much sorted it. Things that brought up were:

I can insure myself easily (rather than my mum putting me on her car insurance)

I can maintain and run a bike at less cost compared to a car.

I'd drive like a dick in a car.

My mum would have had to buy me a car/ lessons, thus saving more money.
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 21:30 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do it properly, loads of training and protective kit. Dare I say it, dayglo Shocked
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kawakid
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PostPosted: 22:19 - 01 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

The way to do it is to get in to biking after you've left home.

Seriously there's no way i'd let my boys have a bike as their first form of transport.

I've told them this already they can have a car for a few years to get some road experience before going on a road bike.

That's not to stop them having off road/track bikes.

Ohh yeahh I used to argue with my own Dad about the above. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
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Endless Nameless
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PostPosted: 00:37 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meh, I had a few arguments with mother dearest on biking matters. She's a bit dictatorish when it comes to how I live my life. Dad wasnt too against the idea. Anyway I gave in and stuck to the Land Rover, which back home is more practical than the landy anyway. Now I've moved away from home (uni), she aint here to boss me about! I fully intend to get my kit, CBT and bike sorted waaay before the Easter holidays so I've got enough practice in to ride home and say "hey, look what I've bought". A bike here is sensible, it can be hidden away in the garden easily. A Land Rover really isnt, and I'm sick of being stuck in the city and need some way of escape!

Not much help, other than tell her not to give up on teh idea and she'll get what she wants eventually!
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Yoko
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PostPosted: 00:53 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I got a bike I didnt tell my uncles or gran parents at first as they hated bikes (well apart from one uncle whos a biker!) as my other uncle was killed on a bike.

I eventually told by uncles and they didnt actually mind and said they may not like bikes but aint about to start telling me whats good and not good for me which was cool.

Saw my gran a few months later going to visit my grandad in hospital and it turns out she knew anyway! Again she was cool about it but suggested not telling grandad as he was ill in hospital. Even now I go see her on it shes fine about it and always says, go safe on that bike of yours!! lol

I think she just has to show that she knows the risks and will take all the precautions she can, get all the right kit etc. If its something she wants to do, as much as her parents hate it I'm sure they wouldnt disown her!
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MaybeGuy
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PostPosted: 11:47 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

my dear mother was completely anti when i first got a 125 at 17. first bike an all...

i ended up saying that if i was going to crash id rather be thrown clear than trapped in a burning cage with my flesh slowly being burnt away...
also, statistics help!

something like 95% of car accidents are minor ones in which no-one is hurt and there is minimal damage, and to every bike accident there are 4 car ones.

carry on like this and you'll probably win.
also, take the cbt, but get her mum to go with her, and get her to make the instructor bloke tell the mother that shes fucking safe.

tell her to fake being car sick, and to pretend shes claustraphobic, or agrophobic and only feels comfortable travelling in a helmet Wink
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Joeb46
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PostPosted: 12:43 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

My mum wasnt impressed at all when i bought my bike. but when ever i have it started and she comes out to complain i just rev the nuts off it put my hand to my ear and tell her i cant hear her Thumbs Up works every time
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Smousie
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PostPosted: 13:11 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

My Mum is still crying over the fact that I bought a bike; she wants me to sell it and buy a car. I told her:

*Most accidents are non-fatal
*There are more car accidents than bike accidents
*Statistically the proportion of bike riders who actually have an accident is quite small
*I'm wearing the best protective gear with armour and I'm not riding around in tracksuit bottoms like some people do
*I'm a safe rider, and even the instructor commented on my good road awareness
*I won't ride in darkness or poor visibility (to begin with anyway)
*The instructor wouldn't have passed me if he thought I was a danger
*I'm only running around town and usually not doing more than 40-50mph max, and probably averaging 20-30mph

She seems a little bit calmer, but still has crying fits every now and again and talks about having to bury me after a bike accident. I've come to the conclusion that the only solution is to ignore her, and demonstrate my safety by not having an accident. She'll calm down eventually...I hope.

TBH I dunno why she thinks I'm going to be safer in a car. If I can't drive a bike safely then how would I drive a car safely? Car driving requires the same skills of observation and awareness etc as a bike does. Although I suppose if a car bumps into you on a bike you're more likely to be smushed than if it bumped into you when you were driving a car.
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Itchy
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PostPosted: 13:39 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smousie wrote:

TBH I dunno why she thinks I'm going to be safer in a car. If I can't drive a bike safely then how would I drive a car safely? Car driving requires the same skills of observation and awareness etc as a bike does. Although I suppose if a car bumps into you on a bike you're more likely to be smushed than if it bumped into you when you were driving a car.


Probably because car driving generally involves being stuck in traffic moving at 5mph inching forward into the city.
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cicatrez
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PostPosted: 14:03 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in the process of winning over my parents on the idea of having a bike as I'm looking to take my CBT and buy a CG125 to learn on and take my test etc...

I'm 20, and wana use it for short trips, and to uni etc.. as its miles cheaper then driving. My journey to uni (from east london to kingston), takes me 1hour by car (with little to no traffic), plus paying £1.20 an hour for parking. On the way home, through evening rush hour it takes me 2hours.
I don't drive at the moment (don't have money for insurance), so taking the train/tube/bus. takes me 2hours from when i leave, to when i get out the station at kingston, followed by a 15min walk.
Now taking a bike would mean that i could do that journey in 1hour (maybe even beat my record of 48minutes once which i did late at night) either way. Ontop of that, there's free parking right outside my uni too. petrol on a 125cc would cost me £3, where as in my car its £10.

My dad doesn't mind the idea of me riding a bike, he used to ride fast bikes back in seychelles when he was my age. Which is probably why my mum doesn't like the idea much.My understands that its just a 125cc and even after i pass my test, i aint got any intention of wanting to buy a 800cc+ sports bike.
Where as my mum has just this blind hatred for not wanting myself to ride a motorbike.
Sometimes educating them about it would make them see the real truth, and that it's perhaps not that bad.

If my mum doesn't want to let me educate her about it, then to hell with that, I'll still get it. Laughing
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Jack_Cheese
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PostPosted: 17:02 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her to get a 'blade and do a burnout in the kitchen.
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Ork12
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PostPosted: 18:07 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Mum, Dad. Sit down i've got some important things to tell you.
Firstly I'm moving out, secondly I'm getting a civil partnership with "big Lucy" from up the road. Finally I'm pregnant from Steve, don't worry though he's gay so isn't going to fight me and Lucy for it".
Wait for reaction.
"Only joking, I'm actually just getting a motorbike, but imagine how much worse it coulda been!"

Something along them lines.
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Noxious89123
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PostPosted: 23:44 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just old my parents i waned to get a bike, and that was it.

My mum was a bit unhappy at fist, but when she saw i was really thinking it through and planning out lessons etc, she was supportive.

My dads reaction was "No, your not having one" and then looked grumpy snd sulked for a while.

Even after i got the bike, when i told them i was going to ride 100 miles to meet a girl i'd never met, my mum was like "omg", but helped me plan a route etc.

My dad just said no, and i told him;

Watch me ;]

If your old enough to ride, your old enough to standup to your parents. Seriously though, he sulked for ages when i said that Very Happy Was great Thumbs Up Mr. Green
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darrenh
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PostPosted: 23:53 - 02 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

thats a hardone as parents are always going to be stricked about biking as it is dangerous

my parents told me NO from day one and still are bit iffy now , i just told them if you want let me have a bike wen i move out im getting one anyways
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spike_Alike
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PostPosted: 00:30 - 03 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was lucky, my parents didn't stop me getting a bike (my Dad helped me buy my scooter) and about 2 months after I got the NSR my Mum decided she wanted a bike too. Now she's got a new Hornet.

If she can pay for it herself then she can just do it that way, not telling them or ignoring them. If she can't then like has been said above, it's about convincing them she can ride safely.

Maybe get her to say that male riders are the idiots who get themselves killed, and girls are innocent and careful Rolling Eyes
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trevoriv
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PostPosted: 01:39 - 03 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cut them up into small pieces and put them in the freezer.

Worked for me.
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Fahd
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PostPosted: 02:07 - 03 Dec 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jack_Cheese wrote:
Tell her to get a 'blade and do a burnout in the kitchen.


BLADE IDEA F.T.W! Thumbs Up Laughing
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