What should I do?

[jackw72]

Heres the situation, its a bit complicated.

A very close friend that is a girl of mine has just revealed to me that there is a good chance she will die around christmas.

We get closer and closer everytime I see her and she has been a really good friend for about 8 years now, although I have been with her as more than friends a couple of times we both feel now we are a bit older and thus more mature that it would be worth pursuing a relationship once more.

So there is an obvious complication in there.

Do I have the relationship with her and try and be as happy as possible till the time or do I simply stay as a friend?

What would you do?

We are both 17 but will be 18 shortly.

Cheers,

Jack
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08/11/2007 A2 Passed.
Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3
Rapid Training passed

[iooi]

Tough one.
What does she call a good chance and you really need to know whats wrong with her.
Sure getting together would be nice, but can you hack the strain of caring for someone who is really ill. This will mean you putting you life on hold to look after her if she is real bad.
Maybe just being a mate is all she needs to help her along and not getting involved with all the problems that creates.
You need to find what she wants to do.

Or simply get wed, then masses of life ins on her. Sroted for the rest of your life.....
Gotta find a up out of every down
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Just because my bike was A DIVVY, does not mean i am......

[ncrn]

How much of a chance is a good chance? I know I might get some backlash but are you certain she is being honest? I've had what I thought to be a very close friend to lie about this kinda thing.. maybe it was just down to her being a compulsive liar, who knows..

All you can do really is talk to her and see what she thinks, and find out what she wants from you.
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Past: 55 Sym Jet, 91 ZZR250, 03 NSR125R. Present: 97 ER-5.
https://www.nsr125.co.uk - NSR Owners forum.

[Zen Dog]

To be honest i'd be very wary about making any decision until you have the full facts. What is it she has exactly?

Different diseases/issues can need to be treated completely differently, some may not be curable, but are managable for longer/shorter periods. It may or may not be infectious, it may or may not be physically debilitating etc. etc.

Too many questions, and i think you should probably find out the answers before you make any kind of decision.

Zen Dog
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Current - '94 VFR750FR (Dead), '00 VFR800FI, 2011 CBF125 Previous - '10 Street Triple R, '92 MZ ETZ301, '05 TTR250, NSR125R, KMX125, "Honda" Win (chinese copy of an old Honda design with a C90 engine)
My bike trip around S.E. Asia 2010/2011

[jackw72]

Thanks,

I *think* it is breast cancer as when we were out on a date a couple months back she asked me to feel her breast for a lump, which I did but I am no cancer lump expert...

She had been talking about it for a while and I am pretty sure it must be that. To be honest with you she has lied about fairly big things before to get out of things but she has gone past the point of return now so I believe her.

I don't think that I would mind looking after her as I am at a stage in my life where I have a lot of time free and I couldn't think of a better reason to spend my time looking after her.

I will find out this evening whats wrong and get back

I think she said the percentage was around 98.

So a pretty good chance.

Eek
____________________
08/11/2007 A2 Passed.
Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3
Rapid Training passed

[Mr.Everready]

Sounds a bit sus to me tbh.

Breast cancer at 18 and 10 months to live ? I'm not saying that it's not possible but get all the facts before you decide anything.
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the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section

[jackw72]

*That is just my guess*

Why would that be suspect then?

She could of had it for a while but never told anyone or visited a GP...

I don't know
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08/11/2007 A2 Passed.
Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3
Rapid Training passed

[Mr.Everready]

When she told you that she was going to die didn't you think to ask her what was wrong ?
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the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section

[jackw72]

The thought occured and the action was put into practice but she said that she finds it hard to talk about as I imagine one would and rather talk about it face to face than over the phone.


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08/11/2007 A2 Passed.
Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3
Rapid Training passed

[MaybeGuy]

sorry, but... feel me for lumps?
its a line my friend!
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[jackw72]

it is a good one, and being me at first I was like why does she want me to feel her breast hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.


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08/11/2007 A2 Passed.
Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3
Rapid Training passed

[hellkat]

[jackw72]

well we will see.

prizes for those who guessed correctly.

but no the maturity thing is about relationships because when we did go out we were not very mature and now we are slightly more mature.

There has been a few months gap between tit feeling and death timing so the trap me into a serious relationship thing I dont believe to be true.

It might be though.
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08/11/2007 A2 Passed.
Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3
Rapid Training passed

[hellkat]

Never mind ... maybe next week she'll be worried she has rectal cancer, and might be dead by the summer, and you can do her up the garry, eh.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[jackw72]

mmm I imagined I would be receiving more respect than this...


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08/11/2007 A2 Passed.
Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3
Rapid Training passed

[iooi]

[Tarmacsurfer]

[hellkat]

I like to call it "ironic"

If it turns out the bird is seriously ill, then most people know that they can rely on me to be more serious, indeed, sensible and practical about it.

But until the kid knows what's supposedly wrong with her, I'm sticking with ironic.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Kwaks]

Pretty sure the survival rate for breast cancer is better than 2%

If not I know some very lucky ladies

Sounds like it was a line to me, if she didnt want to discuss it on the phone why bring it up
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[scorps]

hmmmmmmmm ive never heard of a 18 year old having breast cancer(im sure there has been somewhere possibly), thats very young indeed and you say shes lied about big stuff in the past? hmmmmm
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Do not presume that I am male.

[hellkat]

Yeah, but she's 17, so her "past" is, in effect, her childhood.
All kids lie.

If the girl is genuinely sick, then okay, work out what you wanna do.

Sounds like an attention-seeking thing to me:
Oh, I have a 2% chance of dying before Xmas.

Don't we all, luv.

Fucks sake. I have NO IDEA why I am wasting my time getting so bent out of shape about a 17 year old girl who hasn't even got the imagination to dream up a decent lie to get a bloke into the sack
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Stevep]

Has she been to a doctors has she been refered to a specialist
Breast Cancer is not as big a killer as it once was and if this was true she would be receiving the very best in treatment already as she is so young.
You really need to ask her what the doctors are doing about it and who her specialist is
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Harleys run Forever

[Zimbo]

There isn't really much of a difference between a really good friend and "going out". You can be really good friends that sleep together, doesn't feel that different to being a couple apart from when you're a couple you're supposed to not see other people at the same time.
If she's a good friend you'll be there with her anyway whatever happens, so no need to make a decision in my opinion, just do whatever you and she want to.

[Itchy]

As hellkat says in many prior posts, younger women absolutely love head games, Cosmo and that sort of rag tells them head games are good.

Two things:

If you ever do get her in the sack , bag up no really...

Play the GOOD friend , and take her to consults*.


I'm an ex fan of poker and quite enjoy show hand situations, in playing the good friend and taking her into a consult ie driving her there walking her in to the doctors , you effectively bust her flush.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[MaybeGuy]

i reckon you should steer clear... watch this video and this is how i picture this girl...

https://www.redtube.com/8072

NSFW, but the girl is a frikkin psycho...
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith