Life - and where to go to next?

[Blunet600]

Im assuming we have all been there, well im there now! Im at the point where Im unsure, not knowing and worried about where my life is going and where i will end up. It is making me slightly depressed. Im looking at the possibility of university but then cost and the debt is a big issue for me, also my concern is leaving uni without the right grade or not getting into the right job and all that money and time was wasted. Im looking at jobs, possible jobs i could get into but im unsure of any jobs i would like or could get into, I want to learn more about the mechanics of the motorcycle but dont want to become a mechanic but did consider a college course on bike mechanics. Im just not sure on anything.
Im 19 (20 in March !!!!) working as a support worker with people who have Brain injuries which has been a great experience and eye opener for me but i dont want to be in care as a permant career choice. I know im rambling but i would really appreciate any comments, peoples experience in their own life and what they did, or any advice.
Thankyou for spending your time reading this.

[gmanxiii]

It took me a while to figure this out but its ok to not know what you want to do! and a lot of people certainly feel the same I think everyone expects and puts so much pressure on you from an early age to "get a good education so you can get a good job" and all that jazz that it can stress you out eventually.

To a certain extent i still dont know what i wanna do now although where i'm at im pretty happy at the moment and can see a good future coming from it if all goes well. For me uni was an ok experience, met loads of people, got drunk, got into lots of debt and came out with a degree at the end of it. The job im at now i kinda fell into and didnt need my degree for, infact i dont think i ever really want to do anything to do with my degree again. Truth is a uni and a degree wont guarentee you a job or career, although in some circumstances it can help.

I'd try some stuff out to see if you like it, see if you can get an apprenticeship or something if your into mechanics, you can always give it up and move onto something else your still young enough to do it. No such thing as a permanent career choice, people jump around jobs all the time these days. I know 30+ year olds that have gone back to uni to study medicine and stuff because they suddenly decided after x number of years thats what they fancy doing.
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I kills hondas

VFR400NC30 > ZZR600 > CBR600FX > CBR1000rr

[Rookie]

You should look at university as something of a life experience rather than a grade. Obviously you're there to study, but it's some of the best times you'll have in your life, and at the end of the day, money is money. You'll also learrn how to make £10 go a long way.

If you like mechanical stuff but don't want to be a mechanic, have you looked at engineering?

[st3v3]

I left school and started cleaning. Then worked in a video shop and soon went working in a card board box factory. Why? These jobs were all hands on which was what I thought was for me. Then I stumbled into an office job and it's been the best thing I did, and been there 2 1/2 years. Anyway the point of this rambling post is that you gotta keep your options open incase you 'fall for' something you never imaged yourself doing.

Basically, only you can decide what to do, give it all or nothing.
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Roger wrote: Women don't get damp for clingy puppies. Get some better happy pills, hit the gym & buy a medallion the size of a dinner plate. Job done

[_Will_]

I'm in exactly the same boat as you.
In june i'll have my HND and im wondering if its worth going on for another 2 years for a BA or just getting a job.
Im 19 aswell and really lost as to what to do next, don't really know what i want out of life and going to uni will be far too expensive.

Dunno if a degree is worth it really, bit fed up of being a student too.

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Past -Honda qr50 | 2004 Peugeot Tkr s 50| | 1996 Yamaha XJ600s Diversion|

[TheShaggyDA]

For a start, stop worrying about not knowing what it is you want to do. It's natural.

The way I see things, is that man is an animal. Once the basics of food, shelter and companionship are taken care of, our sole purpose is to procreate* and have fun. The whole concept of money, job, career, marriage, pension etc. is not what we, as humans, are wired up for.

The problem is that the ability to look after ourselves (and I mean more than just be able to tie our shoelaces) has been taken away from us, and replaced by a system where we have to trade our time and effort for tokens, which we then trade for things we need, and want. If I want to do something as simple as grow my own food, I need to either buy, or rent a plot of land. If I want to hunt or fish, I need a licence, which I need to buy. As far as money is concerned then, you need to make enough to take care of the basics, and have enough left over for the fun stuff. In other words, you seperate things into needs and wants. I think a lot of people's problems stem from the inability to differentiate between the two.

So, here you are, still fresh from the system's brainwashing programme. You've got, say, another 50 years of life left, of which the system pretty much expects you to work 40 of it. You're going to need something that makes it worth it.

The answer, then, is what do you like doing? What's your "bliss"? Not sure? Of course not - you've hardly scraped the surface. Your next decade (at least) should be spent sampling everything life has to offer, not worrying about how to clear the university debt, or how you'll ever get onto the housing ladder, or whether your pension will be adequate enough. Fancy seeing some of the world? Go do it. Work your way around the world doing bar work or cleaning.

When you've got a greater perspective, you'll have a better idea of what it is you want to do. If, for example, after all that time you find that your passion is cooking, then you might find that your goal is to have your own restuarant. Then you have a career direction. Say it takes 5 years to achieve that - you'll be 35. How many 35 year olds can say they are doing exactly what they want to be doing, and loving every minute of it? How many 35 year olds can say they've spent 10 years trying everything under the sun?

You may find your passion is music, or writing, or painting. Or health care. Or trading stocks and shares. Or partying.

It's ok to have goals, but goals change. Accept that it's ok to change them. If you can't decide on a long term goal, that's ok too. Spend your time on smaller goals. Just because it's smaller, doesn't mean it's less important. You want to learn more about the mechanics of the motorcycle? Well, as you said you could do a college course. You could also get a non-running moped and books from the library, strip it to the ground and rebuild it. Or learn the art of ingenious bodgery in India.


Or, you could be a good little prole, stop whining, go out the door, first on the left, one millstone each.


* Personally, it's just to have fun.
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Current: CB500 Previous: CB100N, CB250RS, XJ900F, GT550, GPZ750R/1000RX, AJS M16, R100RT, Enfield Bullet

[i:6e3bfc7581]But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman...[/i:6e3bfc7581]

[st3v3]

So..... get out there and have loads of fun. That's do-able.
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Roger wrote: Women don't get damp for clingy puppies. Get some better happy pills, hit the gym & buy a medallion the size of a dinner plate. Job done

[hellkat]

Good post, Shaggy

NSRDude, I could suggest to you that you build up your career and have a safe, sensible, and happy life as a wage slave. Or I could counsel that you go and live alone in a leaky houseboat with five dogs, argue with a militant lesbian and three nymphomaniac flatmates, or buy a snailfarm, sail to Uruguay and get kidnapped by militia, or enter a sex-orgy commune religious cult, or rob a bank with a tube of toothpaste. They will all bring you interesting experiences.

If you feel discontent with what you are doing, you can change it.

Any time.
You can change your life when you feel like it.

Whether you take a little step and branch out to some other sort of work to give your CV and your work experience a bit of a prop up for the future ...

Or whether you think "Hey, fuck this, I'm off to do mentalist things".

Its a step we all take.

Never in my entire mind would I have imagined when I was 23, left NZ and came to London (for a two year working holiday) that I would have done the stuff I've done, ended up where I am and knowing the sort of people whom I have come to know in the intervening time. I could have gone back to NZ and settled down, but I settled here instead.

Maybe if I had stayed there, I might have had equally interesting experiences, but at the time (when I was around your age) I knew that if I did so, if I stayed within a straight and narrow experience of work-home-family-mortgage-children-husband, that I would not be content with that.

I did not know where I would end up. I expected to visit the touristy sites in Europe and come home to NZ content that I had "travelled the world".

I certainly did not know that I would end up having the great (and sometimes crazy) experiences I have had. And even then, much of the time I have been here in London, much of it has been within a "normal" settled and sensible existence of home/family/mortgage/(2nd) marriage. The crazy bits happen in between getting on with life.

You could stay at home in a sensible job and a safe and sensible life and still experience all those things, and meet all those sort of people.

But if you don't take a step out into the world, you will never know what it holds for you.

I really miss my home and my family, but what a blast it is to have gone out into the world and met all the sorts of people I have, and been to all the places I have been. Good experiences and bad, if I died tomorrow, I might complain that there was things I wanted to do that I never got round to, but damn ... at least I can say I did a bunch of stuff that gave me a whole lot of fun, fear, laughter, horror, love, disgust and enjoyment in a life that (so far) has proved to be a real mixed experience.

Cos thats what life is about, and you don't want to get to 75 stuck in a chair in a nursing home, and discovered you've wasted it all, and done bugger all.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Blunet600]

Your right. absolutley right. Easier said than done though you have to admit but screw it im going to do anything and everything, why not (although alot of it needs money to do so).
I would love to travel abroad, see new things, experience new cultures, and people. I would love to have a job that i loved and earned good money also. Im going to think about what you guys have said its really useful seeing what other people think and have done helps me get my arse into gear.

[Itchy]

It boils down to this:

Do you want stuff,

or do you want experiences ?,


You can have both but only in some circumstances.

My dad chose stuff , and thus didn't take a holiday for about 30 years, he has alot of stuff , and still thinks more stuff will make him happier.

My sister chose experience and vanished off the planet backpacking for a few years.

I chose experience for a while , and I am gravitating towards stuff as I grow older, 2005 I was like posting house nah don't want one , 2008 I'm thinking it might make sense when the crash comes.

Though this is an inconsistant battle too in that stuff can be combined with experiences! , ie the CBR was bought purely for touring purposes combining experience and stuff in one go, and I'm holding off buying a 4th bike so I can have 2 2 week tours this year and a tail ender Italian run in September.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[hellkat]

It doesn't need a lot of money to do anything.

I've never had a lot of money, although occasionally the things I have done have meant that a reasonable stack of money has been available to me (for the short amount of time it takes me to spend it on something interesting!).

Plus: its a matter of how you look at the things you do in life.

This is a precis of my life:

* Left school at 16, no formal qualifications other than the NZ equivalent of 4 O levels and 2 A levels
* Managed to stayed a virgin till legal age (16 in NZ)
* Mucked about in a few office jobs, gained some experience
* Married at 18 (did not leave home till then)
* Bought a house
* Divorced at 22
* Used money from proceeds to leave NZ and come to London
* Did more office jobs
* Met and married an Italian at 26
* Got pregnant, had kid at 27
* Bought a flat, got a mortgage
* Had even more office jobs
* Got divorced from kid's father at 37
* Did more office jobs to support self and kid

That, basically, is what I've done.

But ...

Amongst that I have :

* Worked for doctors, professors, property developers, civil servants, mountaineers, photographers, accountants, artists, lawyers, mechanics, builders, advertising agencies, bikers, publishers, and (let's not forget) prostitutes.

* Learnt to speak Italian reasonably well, along with a smattering of French, Russian, Spanish, German and Portuguese ... and am currently attempting to teach myself Arabic.

* Fallen in love with Kiwis, English, American and Italians.

* Shagged (uncountable) nationalities and professions - within a "reasonable limit" for a woman of 46.

* Had a miscarriage
* Been raped at knifepoint
* Been in at least two relationships which have culminated in some form of domestic violence
* Fallen off countless motorcycles and trashed countless cars
* Only ever broken two bones (so far!)

* Been so skint that I've had to lived on Mars Bars and coffee for days, or eaten more than my fair share of baked beans, rice and soup with bread and butter.
* Had meals at Claridges, afternoon tea at the Dorchester, and regularly patronised local Hari Krishna restaurants
* Swum naked at midnight; frozen my tits off in freezing wind, ice rain and snow; cried in terror, alone and uncertain what to do next; sat beside the Mediterranean in a sunset; kissed the Blarney Stone; seen someone stabbed; taken coke and speed; smoked spliff; been hopelessly lost with no money and no idea how to get home; taken a road trip across the Western US with a redneck with bad teeth; gone offroading in 4x4s up a mountainside; lashed a young blonde naked man with a leather strap till his arse was striped red; fallen head over heels in love with a Hells Angel; lost my shoes and had to walk home with my toes sticking out of my holey tights in the snow ... and cried a million tears, and giggled a million giggles.

And thats all I can think of just sitting here for ten minutes.
There's FUCKLOADS more.
And I'm only 46.

So get on with it.
Your life can change at a moment's notice, and you never know where it will take you.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Itchy]

true I suppose but money and lots of it certainly does help an awful lot (I was suddenly looking at a credit agreement to put 55K of debt onto my name today)
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[michael j]

Does anyone else play the 'who would you invite to a dinner party' game when they're wankered? Hellkat, you would be invited.

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Ducati 996

[Madmanx]

[michael j]

[Madmanx]

So we,re having strippers then [/quote]

I may be wrong manxscot, but I don't think Hellkat is a stripper [/quote]

If we ask nicely maybe
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https://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll9/manxhornet/Hornet001.jpg

[syl]

[karen_moomin]

Travel, or do something like Camp America (and I'm not just saying that because I work for them - it's a great thing to do) while you decide what you want to do. Lots of people that apply tell me their main reason for applying is to gain "life experience" before they make a decision about their future. I definately think that getting out of the UK and working or travelling helps you put things into perspective.

I think it's a rare thing to actually know what you want to do. Looking back at my life I stumbled through making decisions which has brought me to my current position. My degree was in something totally different to what I do daily, but if I hadn't have made the choice to go to University things wouldn't have panned out the way they did.

My biggest regret is leaving Uni and going straight into full time employment and buying a house. I should have fit in a year abroad somewhere and worked in China or Australia. Then again, with the money I earn I get to holiday to these places so it's not all bad.

I think the secret is not to over analyse these things!!

[Blunet600]

i just dont want to be 5 years down the line thinking the same thing. Not earning enough, wanting to do this and that. Just so much to take in and it all comes rushing in at once.

[hellkat]

[hellkat]

[hellkat]

[Madmanx]

[quote="hellkat"]

[hellkat]

Had a boyfriend once, when I was a teenager, his grandad was a Cajun.

The old fella didn't look like that, but it kinda reminds me of him, lol.
(shotgun, moonshine, beard, etc)

He had a still in his back shed, and the pig got in and tipped it over, poor old bastard nearly had a coronary.

Killed the pig the next week. We watched him slit the pigs throat, and save all the blood in a big bowl, then he made a blindingly delicious boudin noir

Never thought I'd eat it after seeing the pig die, but it was well tasty.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Madmanx]