Anger management

funmonkee · Super Spammer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

Funny...

This is so good, not sure if it`s a true story but could be worth a try............

When you occasionally have a really bad day and you just
need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone
you know, take it out on Someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call
I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man
answered,
Saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak
with
Robert Campbell?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the
right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
Digits. After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong'
number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a
C*nt!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'C*nt' next to it,
and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a
really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a C*nt!" It always
cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic
"C*nt" Calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith
from BT. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're
a C*nt!"

One day I was at LakesideShopping Centre, getting ready
to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and
pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.
I hit the Horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that
spot, but the idiot ignored me.
Noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote
down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first
C*nt, I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover C*nt, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover
for sale?" Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
I asked. "Yes, I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced
house, and the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I
asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch
you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed." "Listen,
Steve, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Steve, you're a C*nt!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two a**eholes to call.
Then one day I came up with an idea. I called C*nt #1.
"Hello?"
"You're a C*nt!" (but I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah." I said.
"Stop calling me!" he screamed.
"Make me." I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Steve Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with
my gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had
better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared... C*nt." and hung
up. Then I called C*nt #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, C*nt," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll do what?" I said

"I'll kick your a*se," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, C*nt, here's your chance. I'm coming
over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying
that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford,
and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in Alice
Street, Ilford.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street.
I got there just in time to watch two C*nts beating the
sh!t out of each other in front of six police cars,
an overhead police helicopter and a News crew.

Now I feel MUCH better.

Take it from me, anger management really works.
____________________
**** Don't ride faster than your angel can fly Get this Free Space
The democratically elected Mod of the Scottish Section - The Peoples Choice[b]