Hmmmm

[Shaun]

I was walking through town the other night and I saw one of them ku klux klan blokes! I thought that isn't right, walking around displaying the fact you're an ignorant racist at a time when there is wars going on over the world. I'd had a few drinks so I decided to take matters into my own hands, I walked over and without hesitating I punched him, bang, one hit and he was straight down.


























I'm in the shit now though, turns out it was a muslim woman.

[thegubner]

[Catalyst]

one of your stand up jokes being put to test?

Well done, it's good
____________________
|--Previous--|:2007 Aprilia SX50...--Current--|: 2007 Kawasaki ER-6N
SlimRick - I can cook really well - but it's a useless skill, as I'm not a woman and it's their fucking job!

[Shaun]

Yup!

Not sure whether I dare to use it on stage though, just in case there's daily mail readers in the audience.

[Catalyst]

I'd use it, doubt you'll get any aggro as most people that go to watch comedy are open to all humour. I thought it was hilarious personally....then again im probably the most abusive, un-politically correct person ever!
____________________
|--Previous--|:2007 Aprilia SX50...--Current--|: 2007 Kawasaki ER-6N
SlimRick - I can cook really well - but it's a useless skill, as I'm not a woman and it's their fucking job!

[hellkat]

If comedians were afraid to use outrageous remarks in their comedy, there'd be no comedians.

Go for it.
Controversy is what draws notoriety and therefore recognition by more people.

Everyone thought Billy Connelly was disgraceful when he first started out.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Harold_Shand]

They are right, though. The sight of a womans hair is almost enough to bring me to a point of arousal. The sight of a hairy pair of stinking ankles would probably see me on the sex offenders list.
____________________
BCF's 6th favourite poster 2009-2010

Harold_Shand's theory might be the best explanation.

[hellkat]

*hides the lady remington*

Could you possibly define "stinking" in its erotic sense?
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[veeeffarr]

You can use my croc(k) of shit joke if you like mate

Just don't forget about us down here while you rise to the top

[Madmanx]

[Madmanx]

[Shaun]

Well....

I did a gig in Preston last night, I didn't intend to use this joke but the gig wasn't going great so I went for it.

After joking a pubic hair, saying I'd still shag britney spears, talking about kids having kids, teachers shagging the kids, BT promoting child obesity and ugly people things weren't going as well as normal and people were looking more offended than anything.

Since I was having a bad gig and there was nothing bringing it back I told them I'd try some actual offensive material to see if I get a better response. So I did the muslim bit then added if I'd known it was a woman I could've raped her, then apologised saying rape is a serious issue that shouldn't be joked about, then added because if you fuck it up you're going prison.

I've never had so many people stare at me like I just shit on their lawn but it was worth it for the 2 or 3 people who laughed... then realised nobody else was laughing.

Can't wait to go back.

[Walloper]

You're dead lucky this is not your day job.

Did you go to college or anything to learn how to be a comedian?

I like the one about when you died.

Saddam kept British Airways passengers captive during the Kuwait war.
You may have caused as much distress or more for the audience you had captive for a few minutes.

____________________
W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[Shaun]

[Walloper]

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'



Ralph, for the FIFTH F*cking' time, it's CHICKEN!!!!'
____________________
W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[Madmanx]

Encore
____________________
https://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll9/manxhornet/Hornet001.jpg

[Misc]

I don't think there's a comedian who hasn't had a bad gig. Must be slightly uncomfortable tho being in that position. Do you have any footage of any of the gigs?

[Grav]

[Itchy]

Where was it? , when is the next one>? , preston is only a few miles away! , I relish at the chance of making a prat of myself , that said my material is pretty awful and a tad niche.
____________________
Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[Ant]

mate, i would have laughed at those jokes! Let us know when your in the area and i'll come and see you!
____________________
04 ZX10R ~