What a bleeding nob-end!

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

This morning I felt like a police vigilante in a car.

Here's the scene. I'm on my way to drop my girlfriend at work at about 7.50am. I am stopped at a red light with a silver "Sprinter" van in front of me minding my own business. When to my horror he starts to reverse towards me. Luckily my lightning reactions had me in reverse in no time and honking my horn simultaneously. Perplexed I was about to get out of my car and confront this cock when the lights changed to green, however he turned off a different way. Though I noted he had a GB badge and the first 2 letters of the number plate in case I saw him again.

I dropped my girlfriend off at work and was pootling home listening to Five live in the morning for some interesting chat on abortions when I was about to turn into my street when the exact same silver van turned into my road. I slipped my little 1litre into 2nd and started a hot pursuit. He must've recognised me as he started gunning it upto speed of 60MPH in a residential estate at 8 in the morning. A rush of adrenaline came over me and I floored it and was catching on him. He turned off into another smaller estate and then made a suicide into a cul-de-sac. Me knowing the area well stopped the car, locked the door and grabbed of all things a BROLLY out of the boot from my fishing trip last night and stood at the end of the road (probably a stupid thing to do).

He stopped next to me and wound down his window and said "Good Morning". I just shouted "What the fuck do you think you were doing back there at the traffic lights?"

He then goes "did I hit you?" and I replied no, but he's fecking lucky he didn't and he just said sorry. Realising I could go no further with this I kicked his tyre like a child and stormed back to my car feeling a little bit like a dick.

But in conclusion I want to go on hot pursuit again. Very Happy

Disclaimer - I know I was a knob, I know I could have killed kiddies and kittens and for the Police, this road is entirely fictitious. Smile

The main thing that actually got me is that if he had reversed into me, how the feck would I claim off him? He would have just said I drove into the back of him?!
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Mister James · I want to believe! Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Karma :

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

To be fair he looked like he was of quite a size and I immediately thought that I was going to be mauled into a bush and raped by midgets.

But he had long hair so I could have pulled his hair like a girl.
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Drew · Banned Joined: 09 Aug 2006 Karma :

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

So, you probably stopped to close to him, resulting in him not being able to see you in his mirrors. Then you attempted to road rage him. Confused

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

Hang about. Tell me one van driver you know that doesn't either tailgate you or stop at traffic lights right up your arse?! Razz

I swear I left adequate space. My car is quite narrow and can appreciate that he might not have seen me in my mirrors, but was perplexed as to why he was in reverse and started to reverse towards me. Razz

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carvell · Scuttler Joined: 05 Sep 2003 Karma :

Jesus...road rage!
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Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

I'm just trying to make sence of the situation Jon. Smile

Don't see why he'd purposely ram you that's all. If you can't see their mirrors, they can't see you and all that. Karma

Mate of mine road raged someone for cuttin him up. My mate got a black eye for his trouble. Laughing

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

To be honest, I will forever be trying to make sense of it. It boils down to two things.

Either he was a have a go criminal seeing if he could squander insurance money by claiming I drove into the back of him. (Does happen, just ask many HGV drivers.

Or he was genuinly blind to me existing behind. However as he knew he reversed into me, I suspect it was probably intentional.

I don't condone road rage, but I have only just bought my new car and was upset that it was nearly damaged. Razz

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Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

Ariel Badger · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Karma :

Keep practicing Jon, soon you will have the confidence to bite a junkie's nose off Mr. Green

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pits · World Chat Champion Joined: 22 Apr 2008 Karma :

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JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

Luke, least I have a backbone.

Still haven't reported that police officer for confiscating your iPhone?
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pa_broon74 · World Chat Champion Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Karma :

Strangely...

While my bike was off the road last week I was running around in a blue transit van which I used to reverse into a white BMW.

I stopped because a car transporter was blocking the exit from where I live. Checked mirrors, nothing there, moved forward a wee bit then back... Blam (not an exact replica of the noise made) in to the white BMW that had nipped in behind me in the few seconds between checking my mirrors and me moving the van.

What can you do? Rolling Eyes

I think he was going to take issue but realised I was a good bit bigger than him. My fault mind, I didn't admit it outright, but I did say sorry which I suppose infers culpability. I don't care, insurance can take care of it.

Thumbs Up

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LeeR · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Karma :

You need to be Karma

dude

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Keir · World Chat Champion Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Karma :

sounds very much like he wanted some insurance money to me.
Do you know the average payout for whiplash?
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Moonie · World Chat Champion Joined: 18 Feb 2008 Karma :

She was probably nearly as impressed as your girlfreind is luke.. Laughing

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Harold_Shand · World Chat Champion Joined: 07 Jun 2004 Karma :

Jon B with a Brolly as a weapon. Priceless.

The quintesential angry Englishman.

A brolly Very Happy

I suppose you could have shoved it up his arse and then opened it.
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Harold_Shand's theory might be the best explanation.

map · Mr Calendar Joined: 14 Jun 2004 Karma :

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Phoenix · Twisted Firestarter Joined: 01 Aug 2002 Karma :

To do that in Coventry you are indeed a psychopath, lucky you didn't end up in a pool of blood with a kitchen knife sticking out of you next to your car at the end of the cul-de-sac.

However.... in Coventry lastyear (nov/dec time) I was at the ice rink in the centre exiting the multistory carpark with 3 others in my car and a another on a bike nearby, behind someone in a small mpv type car infront at the exit barrier, he then put into reverse, a yelp from my passenger and me slamming on the horn (I was in a bloody Volvo V70 estate, not hard to miss) and he reversed straight into the front of my car.
In a brief lapse of judgement I jumped out the car and stormed over to him and started asking if he was fucking blind blah blah, he didn't have a lot to say for himself nor his passenger, he got out had a quick look, no damage lucky for him and managed to get himself through the barrier in a fowards gear this time. Only a few minutes later did it occur to me that I had no idea who was driving the car when I jumped out and started swearing, coulda been 4 6ft4 africans with a small arsenal, won't be doing it again...unless I have another lapse.