Alcoholic Parents...and troubles in general

[5v3d3b0]

This is pretty hard to deal with so be easy on me.
Basically both my parents are alcoholics, and it really pisses me off. They're not aggressive or anything like that, just my dad act like a fucking retarded little 5 year old when he's drunk, and when he is he will be for at least 4 full days. He gets up real early and starts drinking, falls asleep, wakes up still pissed and continues until he feels so shite he just has to stop, stay at home from work a few days and is normal for a week or two.
My mother is less noticable because she doesn't make a fool out of herself, but she does get very annoying. Doesn't shut up. It's more frequent now than it used to be and I'm sick of it. Don't know what to do really.
It's actually my stepdad so I don't have a good enough connection with him to complain, and lately he wants me out the house.
They've already said that if I don't improve my school grades by the first trimester im out to find a job and take care of myself.
Yesterday I told my mum to shut up cause she was referring to me being shit in school every half an hour. We were watching a movie and she was like: If you don't do well in school you'll wear an ugly coat like that. When you get a job you can...... whatever. Just kept annoying me and I put her in place....
Does anyone else have or has had this problem?

[N.C]

did have, smacked him in the mouth, ko

but didnt help in long run

seek help from people like connections or the like
or for some publicitiy jeremy kyle

theres not much anyone on here can do to help

[c_dug]

Not sure why im posting this on a public forum, its not something im particularly open about normaly, ah well internet anominaty rules!
Anyway back on topic, i had to live with my mum, an alcoholic, for about 5 years, my dad had given up on her by that stage and my younger sister moved out with him soon after. My mum used to drink herself silly, she wouldnt be able to get off the couch and used to lay there in a state of drunkeness i cant even discribe, I pretty much lived on cerial and pizzas for 5 years since at ~15 years old that was pretty much all i could cook
Anyway shes been to the priory and it made no difference, shes been to a similar re-hab place in ireland and again that failed, alcohol is one of the hardest addictions to kick, Alcohol and Heroin are supposedly the only two drugs that can kill you if you just stop taking them as your body suffers such severe withdrawal symptoms!
Anyway after about 3 years i gave up on my mum and moved in with my dad, it was quite possibly the hardest decision of my life having to tell my mum that i was leaving her, i was pretty much all she had left, but at the end of the day you have to look after yourself in life
I havent seen my mum in about a year now, ill be seeing her at christmas this year but other than that i dont have any reason to.

While living with my mum my grades at school dropped dramaticaly, i lost alot of weight since i wasnt eating properly, i very rarely got new clothes.

Ultimalty im probably a stronger person because of that period of my life however in the end it made sence to get out of there, when living with my dad my grades picked up again and generaly i lived a better quality of life.

Im not sure how old you are but if there is somewhere else you can go to live it will probably make your life alot easier, it might well be the kick in the back-side that your parents need to sort themselves out aswell.

Im not sure if ive been any help but i have been in a very similar situation to yourself so if you want any advice or anything just drop me a PM

c_dug
____________________
I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[5v3d3b0]

Thanks for sharing
I'm not really looking for a solution. I just wanted to let it out a little I suppose, and it feels better when people can identify with you.
I'm turning on the 20th of September, so I can handle it. I'm repeating my last year of school, so I'll start uni at 20


My friend has been telling me about this company called agel. If you've heard of it you probably know what I'm talking about. They have a great business plan similar to a pyramid where it's very easy to make a lot of money if you can get the right people on your team. I'm gonna have a go at that, and who knows..Maybe I'll be able to support myself if my parents aren't keen on me.
If anyone wants to know about it or is interested PM me. It's not spam, I'm just presenting you with an oportunity for some extra dosh

[colin1]

better to try for a real job than a get rich quick scheme

For the moment try spending less time at home, an be nice, even if your step dad is trying to push you out and talking your mum into the idea.
____________________
colin1 is officially faster than god

[Dragonfly]

Pyramid schemes load of crap I wont go into that to much. get a proper job, and then place of your own. Your young and shoulnt have to go through this but you are and it will make you stronger and more independant.
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[5v3d3b0]

I don't have time for a real job because I need to study...If not I'd be out there working in a hotel or something

[Dragonfly]

I really feel for you here. Wish your parents would see what a good son they have. you could be some chav robing places instead you want to make something of yourself from what I gather.

Is there anyone you can stay with? grandparents, relatives or friends etc?
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[5v3d3b0]

Well it's not a pyramid scheme. You simply get commissions on the volume of sale in all the people who have been sponsored by you or by those people and so on down to the 7th generation.
The reason it's different from pyramids is there is actually a good product involved, so some people are in the network as simple consumers rather than retailers

[Dragonfly]

so how much do they want YOU to pay to enrol? my brother has been at them for years and they are useless and he wont listen. he has lost more than made. is it called euphony by any chance? sounds great but wait till you see when you earn £10 for a customer and how hard it is to get them. More effort than its worth.
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[5v3d3b0]

240 euros gets me 4 boxes of product which is equal to 120 servings of gel. (the gels are food suppliments)
I can use those how I want. Maybe I'm a consumer and buy them to eat them. Maybe I sell them on to other people at a higher price. I can do what I want with them, but I'm signing up for a monthly fee of this for a monthly shipment.
For every person that I get to enroll in the same contract, I get 35 euros comission.

You build a team of people who you have enrolled and split them into 2 branches.
Lets say the turnover of branch 1 is 1200 euros in a month, and that of branch 2 is 2000 euros in a month. That month I'll get a commission of 10% of all the turnover (commissionable volume) of the LESSER branch
ie. 120 euros. The maximum earnings by this method is 25000 dollars
If you enter the plan with 1000 euros for 16 boxes, you an have up to 3 moeny making cetres, so you can earn a max of 75000 dollars. This is all per month

But then there's the third amount to acount for.
All the people that I have personally sponsored (enrolled) I earn 25% on. This goes up to 50% as you aquire a higher rank such as director etc.
That's my first generation.
On the second, third and fourth generations I get 8%
When you increase ranks you get 10, 10, 6 on the 5th, 6th, 7th generations.
If you get that far you've very happy, cause by the time you're at the 7th generation there's hundreds or even thousands of people, so imagine what kind of profits are made there.
The good thing is that there isn't a disadvantage to being under someone. You aren't paying the guy above, the company is.

[Shaun]

No no no no no no

I used to know someone who had their hands in every get rich quick scheme going, they're all a con, you might make 'some' money from it but you'll never make a great deal from it. You end up losing more money than you earn.

Just don't, really.

[N.C]

[Ste]

[yambabe]

[Flip]

Wooooooooooo. @ Jo.

[hellkat]

Obviously the problems your parents are experiencing with their alcohol abuse are those which they have to deal with.

Whilst I don't agree with everything Jo says, she is right in several respects: you need to see that you are still under their roof, and that to all intents and purposes, you should be doing what you are bloody well told, and get off your arse - shape up and contribute to the household, or ship out.

But it must be said that some parents are like this. They are quite possibly unable to deal with their OWN problems, both current and historical ... so they drink, and the drinking is causing them to perceive you as becoming a larger part of their problem.

With remarks such as those both parents have made, it sounds as though your lack of academic achievement is getting on their nerves, and that they are worrying that you will never be out from under their feet, which ostensibly means just another mouth to feed.

So really you need to decide whether you should leave school NOW and get a proper job, and not concern yourself at all with actually doing the next year of school.

Or you could well sort out a part time job to fit around your studies, and then contribute to the household that way.

Although I do understand that you may well have some reluctance to hand over any money you DO earn to parents who you know will go out and buy another six pack of Stella with it. But at the end of the day, as Jo says, whilst you are under their roof - they call the shots. No matter how unfair it may seem to you.

If you don't like the shots they are calling (especially not if they are tequila shots) ... then you need to get a job, move out and call your life your own.

I need to be reminded how old you are - 17? Old enough to get an after-school job stacking shelves in Superdrug/flipping burgers/handing out flyers for mobile phone companies/whatever.

Mind you, those all seem to count as proper "real" jobs these days ...
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

The only way to deal with "alcoholics with influence" in your immediate family is :

* do not blame them for what they have 'mistreated you' in your youth, or dwell on their bad behaviour: it will quickly turn you bitter about them, and may push you along the same road.

You need to determine for yourself that your life will be nothing like that. You need to effectively and positively remove yourself from the majority of their influence and behaviour, without damaging yourself or your prospects for your own life.

Its a bugger to get right.
But its called growing up and growing away from your childhood.

And as you are on the verge of adulthood yourself, now is the time to start realising that you need to take the bull of your own life by its horns, and get on with living it as best you can, without being further damaged by your parents' behaviour, inability to cope with their own problems, or their opinions of you.

I guess you could try going to Al-Anon or Alateen, but I don't know how much help that will be if your parents are not prepared to deal with their addictions themselves. But you may well meet kids who have dealt with/are dealing with similar situations.

Try visiting one of these Foyer places for troubled/homeless kids ... the reception staff there sometimes are able to suggest organisations who might be able to help you through this sort of thing, although I think they are predominantly there to help kids who have ALREADY moved out of home. But its worth a try.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[GhostRider]

[Itchy]

[GhostRider]

Lol, well I tried some paper round shit, but there was a difference between wanting some cash and wanting to be used as a virtual slave. I guess there were other options but none paid the kind of cash I was getting when I started working, plus it took me that long to figure out that my folks werent just holding out on me, they were actually pretty skint hahahaha

GhostRider
____________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[Dragonfly]

I started work when I was 14! in a chinese take away. But then again I didnt get anywhere in life. But there is room for studying you know if you are working. How do you think students do it in uni.
____________________
All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[c_dug]

Just want to say, go easy on Svedebo for thinking about the whole get rich quick scheem, when i was living with my mum it was an idea i thought about alot, especialy when theres a new poster on every bus stop telling you that you could be earning thousands every month, its what seems like an easy wasd out of a very shit situation.

Unfortunatly thats the sort of attitude the people at the top count on, in the same was the leader of a cult will prey on weak people in society because the cult seems like an easy way out, the guy at the top relys on people in crappy situations going for something they wouldnt normaly even think about. (im not sure i worded that bit very well but im sure you get what i mean)

I saw sence in the end and got myself a paper round, it was only £20 a week but it was a start, like the others have said it is very possible. Im 18 now (the same as you i think), im not enjoying living with my dad for completly different reasons, im on the way to getting myself out of here, by the end of the month i should be living on my own. Its not an ideal situation, id rather still be in education like yourself, but if what your going through is really that bad then i advise you do what i have, as has been said above you can always go back into education later in life.

c_dug
____________________
I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.