New bloke at work

[garth]

Hi

New bloke started at work and he's a right dick. Small company that deals with power tools and stuff.

He's mid 30's ex camera salesman. Thinks he knows it all, been there and done everything you have and better. Full of shite!

I want to make him trip up on him self - ideas?
____________________
You ain't a has been if you never was

[Keir]

tie his shoe laces together.
____________________
Current : '08 Yamaha FZ1s
Previous: '99 Honda CBR 600FX, 03 ZX636 B1H, 99 Fazer 600 (red), 02 GSX-R 600 K2, 00 SV650s (red), 2008 ZX10R, 97 Bandit 1200N, 04 ZX6RR K1H, 04 GSX-R 1000, 98 Fazer 600 (gold), 05 Madness 110 Pit bike, 04 CR125R, 00 SV650s (black), 06 KTM 625 SMC, 99 SRAD 600 track bike, 03 SV650, 98 Bandit 1200N, Bandit 600SY, 03 GSX-R 600 K3, 01 GSX-R 600, 01 Fazer 600 (black), VFR 400 NC30 x3, 78 Honda Dream, 00 Speedfight 50

[Dragonfly]

stick a kick me sign on his back *sniggers*

[RealNinja]

If the guy is such a dick, you'll find you have ample opportunity to trip him up.

Just watch, wait and listen. He will trip himself up eventually, you just need to be around when he does!

Alternativley, start him talking on a subject that you know alot about and he is likely to know little.....I don't know, how about bikes...?! (assuming you know about bikes)
____________________
You will become my force of retribution. Where you tread, doom will follow. Go now and claim your destiny

[garth]

[Dragonfly]

[Fawbish]

Single? Married?

In either situation, you have Youth, opportunity and ambition on your side. he's been there, done it all? take the piss that he aint gonna get to do any of it again. You still have life to enjoy And plenty of it.

If he doesnt ride bikes call him a faggot. If he rides bikes, call him a faggot. Just call him a fag all day. Slipping it in when he isnt even thinking about getting insulted. (That sounds wrong, but go with it)

In the middle of a sentence.

"Hey, can you pass me that drill please faggot?"
"Yewhat?"
"The drill, pass it here yeah?"
"No, you called me-"

"Just pass me the fuckin' drill. Are you slow in the head? I thought you'd been it/seen it/done it? Is it so hard to pass me a drill? Really? Jesus!"

*shrugs*
____________________
"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

[Fawbish]

Set him up for an embarrassing situation.

Claim its a "new guy" initiation when he's screaming at you because he has a dart stuck in his forehead, soaked crotch and smells of sugar puffs.



____________________
"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

[killa]

Go in tomorow and pretend you're deaf.
____________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[garth]

What?
____________________
You ain't a has been if you never was

[garth]

I've already named him spam and all the workshop staff now call him it too.
____________________
You ain't a has been if you never was

[Mr Hammers]

Ring your company as another company and ask if it's possible to reschedule <insert dick's name here>'s upcoming job interview as there has been a 'discrepancy' in his work history that needs looking at in more detail.

Maybe add a flourish by saying "i'm sure it's nothing, but when it concerns children's welfare you can't be too careful these days...."


____________________
A Guide To Powerbands

[Mr Hammers]

[Madmanx]

[JonB]

Or when he tells you something about himself, say in a Chinese accent: "And theeeeen?"
____________________
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[Ariel Badger]

It will cost you thirty quid.
https://www.fleshlight.co.uk/
Have it delivered to his desk.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[steveh]

one word.


laxatives.
____________________
Current : 06 Zx10r, 07 Wr450f SM, 74 850 norton commando, 63 bsa b40, 1962 Triton 650, 67 Triumph Tr6r, 1955 Triton 750, 1978 TY250E.

[Skudd]

Ask him questions, but start with Hey Grampa, in your day......
____________________
Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[Wave2k]

dip your cock in his beverage, he may not know about it, but you can snigger throughout the day.

Fart in his cup and wipe poo juices on the rim if he really pisses you off.
____________________
Ducati 1299 Panigale
2009 Corvette C6 z51
RS125->CBR400->RXS100->GSXR750K2->Ducati749S->CBR600RR5->TL1000R->DRz400->RSVR1000->Honda VTR SP1->CBR400->GSXR1000K6->Honda H100->CBR600RR3->Ducati1299

[Dragonfly]

[Catalyst]

[neil.]

[MattHirst]