Step away from the toolbox...

[Mr Hammers]

Chatting to a mechanic friend recently we were exchanging some home mechanics horror stories. I could hardly believe some of the stuff he's come across over the years. For example, one guy who decided to fix his own clutch in a MKII Escort forgot to tighten his flywheel bolts before putting it back together.

He shouldn't have undone them in the first place of course, and it was only when he was ragging it down the road he found out what a really bad move that was. When my mate got there, he found that the flywheel had come off, went clean through the clutch casing and almost all the way through the gearbox hump (or whatever it's called). He was lucky not to lose a leg.

I told him about the time when a neighbour replaced his rings on his Honda 90 step-thru. It seemed the rings he bought were slightly too big for the piston, so instead of waiting till he could get the right size, he decided to file down the ring seats until they just fitted into the barrel.

Worked fine....for about 2 minutes. When he opened it up again he found the entire top of the piston completely seperated from the rest

Another one was when another neighbour called me over to ask why her car wouldn't start and would barely turn over. I asked when it had started doing it, and she said ever since her son had topped it up with oil. She said he was surprised how much oil it had taken to fill it up, so of course, popping off the rocker cover cap i found it almost full to the brim....

Have you any home mechanic fvck ups you can share..?
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A Guide To Powerbands

[Kal]

I started off clueless and to be honest I am only slowly getting better

However fitting a new wiring loom to my CG125 after a botched theft attempt I thought I was pretty safe due to having two good friends with me - one taking care of either end of the bike.

In perfect innocence I believed them when they told me I didn't need the big green wire connecting and to leave it.

Cue a number of random breakdowns over the next couple of weeks culminating with a breakdown on the A47 20 miles from home. Having had enough I took into my mechanic who eventually discovered the loom was earthing through random parts of the bike.



The second thing was all me. I can't remember why but I'd had the back wheel off of my bike to compare with random parts at Lesters (they are good like that) anyway on my way home handling was slightly off until I noticed I'd not tightened the axle nut.

I tightened by hand on the side of the road and took it really easy until I got home.

There is more, but I want to give other people a chance to post...
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Kal...
I Like To Hoon It Hoon It I Like To Hoon It Hoon It I Like To Hoon It Hoon It Ya Like To (HOON IT!).
1984 GB250 Clubman,1983 CB250N Superdream, 1999 GPZ500S

[Shaun]

Myself and my housemate are big fans of bodging stuff. My work of art is below from when my clutch cable snapped.
https://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p238/cbrshaun/15072008034.jpg

The best one he did was sellotaping the connection on his battery, only to have his lights go on and off randomly when he hit bumps in the road.

[Reppyboyo]

That is a work of art.

[tatters]

mop stick brake lever on my old FX400R




https://www.bikechatforums.com/files/fx4_351.jpg
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Past:NRG50,AF1125(x2),NSR125RR,ZZR250,CX500,VFR400,KR1S,ZZR600(x2),CB400N,YZF1000(x2),KH125,Z200,FX400R,CBR954RR(x2)GPZ500S,GT550,VFR750F(x2),RD350N,XR650R,CBR600F,CB250,KDX250,YZF750R,CRM250,400EXC,KLR650,TTR600RE,DR350S,R100GSPD,RGV250,VMAX1200,DL650,KZ750 Present:G650XC,C12,CRF450X,1190ADV

[kiers]

[Ben.]

[.Chris.]

A couple of days ago I changed the oil and filter on my car after doing a load of work on the engine. All seemed ok until I started it up and drove off up the road. When I stopped at the junction with the main road I heard a funny bubbling sound, then the oil light came on so I killed the engine immediately and got out to investigate. Looking back down the road there was a huge trail of oil following me, so I pushed the car back into my drive and investigated. Seems like the O-ring from the previous oil filter had stuck to the top of the housing without me noticing. This had then bowed under the pressure of the new filter being tightened up against it, creating a big hole for the oil to piss out of .

All sorted now though, very nearly managed to do a half_lyfe
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Chris
1985 Kawasaki Z550F

[Ben.]

bit of copper tube and a few cable ties as a foot peg

https://img392.imageshack.us/img392/5260/footpegia9.jpg
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follow my racing season
Race bike - R6
Road bike - sv650

[Seb]

My ZZR had a duracell packet doubling as a numberplate light lens
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2010 Triumph 1050 Sprint ST

[virus]

does this count?
https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=158063


Cheers
John
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[Moonie]

My breather pipe for the carb is a handle off one of those paper bags, the float hinge a paper clip, Throttle cable is partly an old BMX brake cable, radiator cap is from a petrol can, Airbox tube broke so is connected by a tube made of gaffa tape, and the undertray is held on with those pins that split in two.
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Don't practice it until you get it right, practice it until you don't get it wrong.
Presenting the one and only Chinkmobile

[tutton]

my frame is held on by rust
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Past: '05 Peugeot XPS '99 Aprillia RS125 '94 FZR600R
Current: '02 ZX636 A1P '51 CCM R30

[chris-red]

I left a screwdriver in my airbox,
Nealry broke myself and the TDM today trying to put it a front paddock stand on my own.

I did all sorts of horrid things to the GS to keep it running. That rear sprocket is not coming off the carrier



Infact as we speak my TDM is balanced incredibly precariously on 2 axel stands neither of which have all there feet on the deck
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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.

[quacker_boy]

[Davie_G71]

When I had my RS Turbo, it had a zetec conversion and a modified sump to take the oil return pipe from the turbo.

This was bodged by the previous owner with some standard water pipe and was narrowing at one end restricting the flow. So I thought I’d fix it with what I thought was oil pipe I had in my toolbox.

How sorry was I.

It turned out that my oil pipe was in fact also water pipe, and in much worse condition than the previous bit, that and the fact I had tightened the jubilee clip around it to torque levels only achievable by superman himself, resulted in the pipe splitting while at full boost, the oil light coming on and clouds of smoke as the oil dripped directly onto the unwrapped stainless down pipe which must've been at a million degrees.

Some exaggerations in there but how it didn’t catch fire is beyond me.

Queue getting a mates dad to come and tow me to his place, 5 miles away from where I lived, a very unhappy wife who had to come collect me and £30 of fine oil gone.

I sold that car after owning it for 4 weeks.

[D O G]

Just recently when I was changing my clutch plates, I pulled the gasket cover off, to be revealed with only four springs and retaining bolts, rather than five.

Now clearly there was no debri in the clutch assembly, as I'm sure an errant bolt head would have fucked the engine up well and truely, so I can only assume the last time the plates were changed the guy snapped the bolt head off, and rather than spend $3 on a new bolt, just left it in there. He clearly couldn't even be arsed to take the stump out - which was so loose in there I got it out just by poking it round with a small screwdriver. Unbelievable lazyness.

[G]

Some people have questioned my adventure fairing/fueltank etc creation, but I'm quite happy with it from a utilitarian point of view:
https://gees.zenfolio.com/img/v1/p859131511-3.jpg
https://gees.zenfolio.com/img/v1/p511949761-3.jpg

[NSR Mick]

This is how my NSR track bike has been de-restricted.

https://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/micklivesey/MC18/23072008086.jpg
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If you dont like the way that I ride.......Stop trying to keep up!!!

[Coxyzxr]

My ZXR throttle linkage is actually held on by two cable ties. It had snapped off the side of the carb bank and whoever had it before tried to glue it on with araldite, dodgy because cable ties is what it needed.
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**WAS FITTED "WRONG WAY ROUND" !** CANT ACCOUNT FOR THE STUPID !

[garth]

Drain oil from bike.

Undo filler cap, insert funnel.

Pour new oil into engine.

1) Why isn't the window registering any oil level?

2) Why is there oil on the floor?

3) Why is my sump plug on the bench?
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You ain't a has been if you never was

[Feasty]

When I was about 12 I loved helping my brother work on his car doing bits and bops, he was replacing his front brakes one time and I put the wheels back on for him and tightened them up... only I put all the nuts on the wrong way round, luckily he noticed just before he was due to set off on a rather long journey!!!
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[Cigaro]

Riding home from work with a hand throttle after the cable snapped. Twice, as the first time I fucked up soldering the end on the new cable Second time I used a screwdriver to make the bike go.

Putting the wrong brake fluid in my bike, that was expensive... seals in the master cylinder swelled so it needed a rebuild.

Driving 250 miles in a car without a clutch cable...not so bad as most of it was motorway.

The best one though, all the switches on my right handlebar fell apart...so I've replaced them with toggle switches inside a Maplin project box, cabletied onto the right bar clamp

Cable ties are absolutely great.

And on my Cavalier, the ignition fell apart - so I kept a screwdriver in the glovebox for the purpose of starting it.

[LeeR]

Helping a mate change the clutch in his Triumph Spitfire, we'd successfully changed the one in his mom's Mini earlier in the summer how hard could it be? We made the mistake of fitting it all back together in reverse order just as the Haynes manual told us to, only we'd put it in backwards. We engaged first gear and the car tried to shake itself to bits, an hour or so later we'd got it sorted.
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My claim to fame: Austin Vince nicked my pen...

[ms51ves3]

I cable tied the brake lever on my mates quad