Bizarre and largely useless things you excel at?

[Visitor Q]

I was thinking about this yesterday whilst I was doing abit of work on the side. Basically there are things called '3-phase electromagnetic interference filters' which are bolted to big 3-phase applicances to smooth out current. Now 99% of the types they make at this company I absolutely suck at. They take me 10 minutes to do for 50p... I think bloody not (it's piece work so fixed rate per item).

But this one type, huge thing that doesn't really need to be neat, is a pound a go (ie as they cost it at £5 an hour, they expect it to take 12 minutes)... and I can do them in about 3 minutes. Did 45 of the things yesterday in 3 hours Like I say it's the only one I'm good at, is only good for this one job and in limited orders... but I'm /really/ good at it.

That got me thinking of other even more useless talents. Best one I could think of was flicking fags. I can launch flaming butts a good 30 meters and accurately (ish), which usually suprises people when outside having a smoke.

So what are your guys hidden and uncommercially useful talents.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[rotax81]

i can piss about 45 feet.
the people going in and out of the building dont seem to like it though
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ZX636C6F road. ZX636C1H track. ZX7R redundant. ZX0.5R minimoto as ornament.
Audi A4 Avant 1.9TDi and VW Transporter 2.5TDi 888 Special (no mot and tax lol)

[hellkat]

I can recite the entire alphabet backwards (and in the correct order from Z to A)
one of the utterly pointless but amusing things my grandfather taught me to do when I was about 6 years old
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Moonie]

I can jump and click my heels together 3 times before landing, sounds easy but try it.

Oh and I can open my gullet and down a pint in seconds.
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Don't practice it until you get it right, practice it until you don't get it wrong.
Presenting the one and only Chinkmobile

[rotax81]

gary glitter can clear a playground in 14 seconds
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ZX636C6F road. ZX636C1H track. ZX7R redundant. ZX0.5R minimoto as ornament.
Audi A4 Avant 1.9TDi and VW Transporter 2.5TDi 888 Special (no mot and tax lol)

[LustyLew]

[Whosthedaddy]

I can fart with my hands, no where as good as this dude.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1WKYmx4i1Q

[TheDonUK]

I can eat incredibly fast

Also i have an innate ability to push someone over their threshold of annoyance. When i was a kid i managed to make my dad who at the time was a professional driver, reverse into a lampost, absolutely seething he was i tell thee...

I am inherently good at FPS games, if given time to accustomise to the controls i can usually beat experienced players in little time...

None of those things are very usefull are they...
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[Current Bikes - GSXR-750 K5 & C90-97 ] [Previous Bikes: Runner 125, YBR 125, GS500, Bandit 600, Hornet 600, ZX6R-99, C90-99, R1-99, XT600E-04, GSXR-750 K4, CRF250L '16]

[Moonie]

[bazza]

[karen_moomin]

I can sing a song which recites all the books in the bible.

Completely useless, especially as I'm not religious!

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I can sing the intro to Quantum Jump's "Lone Ranger". Not one of those "that'll be handy in a survival situation" type abilities, but won me a fiver at a bike rally.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Fawbish]

[Moonie]

My uncle can sing the whole off puff the magic dragon backwards.

each word too, like nograd cigam eht ffup.
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Don't practice it until you get it right, practice it until you don't get it wrong.
Presenting the one and only Chinkmobile

[mistergixer]

I used to be able to decode barcodes (especially the ITF symbologies) by eye. As i've (thankfully)not had to do it for a while now, i've forgotten the bar/space relationships, so that's my one talent gone.


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Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[Visitor Q]

[Fawbish]

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"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

[Feasty]

I have a reputation for calming situations between people I know and creating an atmosphere where everyone gets along. For example my missus gets very highly strung around her mum but I'm generally able to communicate on their behalfs and so lead them to an understanding whereby they get along. Previous to me they exploded after 10mins together and needed months apart before speaking again!!
Same with some friends we have when we're all together - I think it's coz I can distance myself from my feelings and so use logic and understanding to work this kind of stuff out instead of joining in!!

Not sure it's a skill I'd get paid for though!!
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[N.C]

Rubix cubes

[killa]

I can dance well for a white man

I can make perfect rollies, not impressive to most smokers in Britain, but overseas i was hailed a rolling machine.

I can make the sound of a water droplet very well, excellent in a cinema when it's quiet.

Im very good at computer games with only little practice.

Im usually the one people call upon to 'bodge' something in a situation. It's often a case of me scouting for items, using them and fixing said problem. Can't describe it that well but happened a lot when i wa travelling.
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[Clanger]

I can turn my tongue upside down.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[N.C]

oooooi can also do a perfect impression of gollum

[SlimRick]

I can cook really well - but it's a useless skill, as I'm not a woman and it's their fucking job!

[Catalyst]

[Fisty]

I can sharpen lathe tools perfectly. In the machine shop at royces one of the old boys asked me to show him how to do it!!!. Its pointless now as most places use tipped tools but I likes the fact I can do it.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret