Car crash

The Artist · Super Spammer Joined: 06 Jan 2008 Karma :

ok one of my best mates has just heard her ex died in a car crash.

She is in bits ATM. She has to work everyday of the week and can't cope. Can't get time off or anything. Now I'm crap in these situations and don't know what to say or do.

Any ideas on what I can say or what she should do?
I'm just worried about her is all.

UnknownStuntm... · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Karma :

Just be there. Sometimes being there and not saying stuff like "I know how you feel" is just what's needed. You can't *do* anything to make the situation better, you're not a superhero and it's not your fault so don't feel bad. But just be there. Thumbs Up

rotax81 · Nearly there... Joined: 10 Sep 2008 Karma :

what stuntman said. just be there and dont mention it unless she wants to talk about it.
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Tonka · World Chat Champion Joined: 11 Jun 2008 Karma :

I think if I was in that situation I would find it really good to have someone help me look after myself, as I always stop eating and sleeping when I get stressed out and exhausted.

How about becoming "meals on wheels" over to hers after work or inviting her to have tea with you, so you can chat or be quiet to suit her best. Getting out for a good long walk / stomp and chat is good for me, as is having someone to go to the gym with.

I guess try and think of anything you can to "take the pressure off" and make life feel a little easier whilst her head's all filled with bad and unhappy stuff. Make sure she knows you're there for her as I'm sure that'll mean an awful lot.
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iooi · Super Spammer Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Karma :

I'm a bit hard nosed in these situations.
Working is the best thing for her as it should take her mind off the problem....
Sitting and moping is not going to help.

Try the hard nosed approach and remind her its a EX.......

Other than that just be there for her. Let her know she can come and have a natter or just sit with you if thats all she needs.
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The Artist · Super Spammer Joined: 06 Jan 2008 Karma :

ok, well she hasn't mentioned it today but she has been a bit miserable etc. I haven't said anything but have spent time just chilling with her and sh cheered up after I bought us some cookies.

Thanks for all the advice guys. Really appreciated