horses are shit RANT

[MaybeGuy]

right, today on the usual ride home through the lanes in the middle of nowhere to my house (my personal TT course).

coming to a straight, i see some twat on a horse waving madly at me to slow down... okay... so i do.

im about 30 meters away when im about at walking pace, then she's yelling something, and turning her hand like a spastic.

i assume this means turn off the engine, so i kill it. i wouldnt normally, because i fucking HATE horses. worst animals ever.

anyway, she comes over and starts yelling at me. at this point all i can hear is ''i think we're alone now... there doesnt seem to be anyone around...''

got a bit confused because this bint is shit at lip syncing, so i paused my mp3 player and said ''sorry, what?''

''you're going too WAY fast and should slow down on these roads because horses ride on them...''

i preferred girls aloud to this, but this was more fun

''so do bikes'' said i

then she starts spouting all this bollocks about how im driving dangerously, reporting me to the police etc...

''lovely, can i see your tax disk for that horse?''

''what??''

''exactly, bye''.

start bike up, lots of revs, wheelie away with horses jumping about everywhere.

i wasnt in the wrong in the first place, because i wasnt going fast by the time she was in sight, she must have just heard me coming from a distance as it was pretty flat out.

i stopped, dont see why i needed to turn off the engine, she shouldnt have a horse that jumpy on the road, especially when she's towing another.

i wouldnt have cared if she had kept her mouth shut, snidey little comments and useless suggestions make my blood boil though...

and yes, i was a dick for scaring the shit out of her horses, but she deserved it, and horses are shit.

message to horse riders: FUCK YOU
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[Moonie]

Best thing is riding past the hunt just outside my village, give them a courteous wave and then clutch in and a big handful of revs
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Don't practice it until you get it right, practice it until you don't get it wrong.
Presenting the one and only Chinkmobile

[mr jamez]

You forgot to moan about their shite. Don't like them either but I try not to wind them up
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NSR 125F > BROS 400 > NC30 > BROS 400 > Trumpet S4 > '97 VFR 750

[ms51ves3]

[Moonie]

Mine now, finished off paying yesterday
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Don't practice it until you get it right, practice it until you don't get it wrong.
Presenting the one and only Chinkmobile

[sickpup]

Waits for Stick to arrive

[Moonie]

Just to make clear he thinks (and I do too, probably) that I'm not riding it until after my test, I just wanted to pay now before I spen my money.
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Don't practice it until you get it right, practice it until you don't get it wrong.
Presenting the one and only Chinkmobile

[thefallenange...]

good on you. I can't even ride to work for horse shit in the lane, cement mixers doing 40mph up the lane so those 2 are my personal rants.

If it doesn't have a tax disc it doesn't pay road duty therefore get off the road. Cyclists should use the pavement anyway.
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Past - CG125 ,KR1S, SV650s, Street Triple R - Current - Duke 390

r.bridge1988@gmail.com

[Gazdaman]

Fine, be annoyed she asked you to stop, and moaned etc. But there's no need to go purposefully scaring the horse as you pull away is there?

If you're that bothered, just ride past normally.

If I did that, I'd be ashamed to write it on a public forum.

Gaz

[swiftb]

[MaybeGuy]

[salty21]

god made horses for fields and thats where they should stay, im with mattspratt on this one, i would have done pretty much the same in his position, i also hate the fuckin things, even when there not on the road.
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04 NSR 125(sold) ---- 03 CBR 600rr(sold) ----90 pan euro ST1100 '' ----02 CG 125
94 CB400 Super Four ---- 2000 VTR SP1 (sold) ---- 08 ninja p8f(sold, meh) ----05 CBR600rr

[Seb]

Purr past on a nice quiet sofa and you'll find they tend to be little darlings, now if only I was 10 years younger

Granted, I'm with you on the dung, that stuff is absolutely lethal.
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2010 Triumph 1050 Sprint ST

[moonym20]

Horses spook way to easy

unfortunately i got a riding stables just down the road.. the two things that really really makes my piss boil is:

The horses shit all over the road... not to bad in summer.. just a lump of excrement to ride over ... but after a good bit of rain their shit is worse than ice... why on earth cant the idiots that ride them bother to clean up the mess? its not funny leaving large piles of shit along the road... worse still its deadly on a corner

Secondly when you have a bunch of these guys out for a 'hack' especially in my area.. why the hell when those guys go round tight blind corners (we have a lovely S bend down the road) do they bunch together??? why not stagger the ride and place some one on the entry to the bend so we know what to expect?? several times i come round the corner to meet this large hairy arse spewing shit and moving slowly.. do you bury your bike/car up the horses arse or onto the traffic comming in the other direction

I just with horse riders where some what more considerate
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A scientist crossed a skunk with an owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot

[MaybeGuy]

fuck me! for once, a bandwagon in my favour?? thats a first and probably a last
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[moonym20]

oh.. and next time some bint flags you down to give you grief...

just chuck a nice big soggy mushed up ball of horse excrement at her/him


i dont hate them... but they are bloody annoying some times
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A scientist crossed a skunk with an owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot

[baldy]

You should have punched her in the tits.

You can't let you're dog shit on the road so why can a horse leave a pile the size of 1000 dog turds?
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One day i will rule the world, just not today.

[iooi]

[baldy]

Its a bit annoying when there is two cement mixers, one doing 39.9mph and the other trying to overtake at 40mph.
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One day i will rule the world, just not today.

[kawakid]

I always slow down when there are horses.

I'll slip the clutch in and go right to the other side of the road and slow down.

More often than not i'll get a wave of thanks from the rider.

Just try and be nice to all road users.
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I've a twin and a 4.

[Rowey]

I agree 100% with you there matt, I hate horses.

Firstly the riders are stuck up pricks especially the older trainers. Usually very distant blue blood relations that give them that upturned nose and idea that they are better than you.
Secondly, the fact that they can ride their horses on the road and expect priority is ridiculous. They pay no tax, leave crap everywhere and don't even have the decency to wear any florescent/reflective bibs.
And thirdly as has been said, the crap is very slippery and thus dangerous. The law wouldn't like it if I was dumping oil on the road, so why is it OK to for a horse to dump on the road? And dog owners have to pick up dog poo, why don't horse owners? Forcing those snooty bints to carry a shovel and a black bin liner might scrap some of that smugness out of their grin
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ZX6R C6F.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll only bring you down to their level, and beat you with experience.

[MaybeGuy]

i think a random load of cattle grids should be built
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[ms51ves3]

Can we not just kill all horses? They have no purpose on this earth anymore.

100 years ago they used to take man around, now we have the internal combustion engine, they are just smelly, expensive, angry and un-needed form of transport.

[Rowey]

[ms51ves3]