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I never was any good at this.

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quacker_boy
Cuddle Bitch



Joined: 06 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: 03:46 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: I never was any good at this. Reply with quote

I apologise all, I'm slightly high as a result of being depressed.

It all started at one of my friend's 18th birthday parties about four months ago where I met one of her friend's for the first time, bearing in mind the week or so leading up to the party my friend kept on saying "I think you'll get on really well with Verity" and the inevitable happened, I got on really well with her.

I spent four hours with her that night snuggling, kissing and getting to know her on the floor of my friend's living room on a couple of air mattresses. And I realised fairly soon after that I really liked her after texting her after the party for about two weeks. I should mention at this point that I live in Exeter and she lives in Ventnor on the Isle of Wight. Mission eh?

So after meeting up with her in Portsmouth for the day, we got on like a house on fire once again, but between then and the present day has been about two months. So after planning since Mid-February I drove to Lymington on the 14th to catch the ferry across to her and she met me on the dock and I kissed her, gave her the flowers, chocolate and card and we drove to our friend's house whose party I'd met Verity at, Daisy.

Later on in the night after dinner we'd caught the bus to go into Ryde for the night, Verity's 17 though so wasn't going to be able to get into most places and after a drink at one place and then her not getting into the next place we moved onto, she suggested the idea about going for a walk on the beach, it was about 10PM at this point. And off we went, and on the walk back about half an hour later I said "So are you actually going to make me ask you out are we just going to assume?" in a slightly cheeky tone. She said she didn't mind so we left it at that. Half an hour later I was waiting with her at the bus stop and I said "Can you ask you something really childish?" and she said "Yeh" with a bit of a smirk on her face.

So I asked her out and she said no and kept a dead straight face for about five seconds before breaking out into a smile and saying yes and I kissed her. She was supposed to stay round Daisy's that night but the day before I came to the island she said her dad had hurt his back and she had to stay at home to help her mum in the morning but she'd come round to Daisy's and see me later. Cue early afternoon on the 15th and we were round Daisy's playing Mario Kart on the Wii and the time came when I had to drop her back at home and head off to the ferry back to the Mainland.

So I dropped her off and kissed her goodbye and sent her a text when I got to the ferry and when I'd stopped off in Bournemouth to see a mate and when I got home telling her I missed her yada yada yada.

So at 11 o'clock on the evening of the 15th, 24 hours after I'd had my first girlfriend I was talking to her on msn and I asked her about the past two months as she seemed to show less affection during these two months than the first two I'd known her for. And she said she'd freaked out a bit when I said I could see us spending quite a while together. Fair enough I thought, my fault, I've never been in a relationship so I don't know when it's too soon or too late to say these things.

She then went on to say she wasn't sure whether she wanted a serious relationship or not when she goes to Uni in September, understandable I thought, there'll be loads of new people there and she might meet the boy she's going to spend the rest of her life with. But here's the kick in the nuts, after four months of talking to this girl and liking her more and more with every passing day she said "I thought that night at Daisy's 18th was just a bit of fun, or whatever" That night, after my friend's 18th, was one of the most intimate nights I've had with a girl. There was nothing remotely sexual about it, just cuddling and kissing.

So I put it to you good people of BCF, do I act all childish and refuse to talk to her? Do i wait to see if she texts me tomorrow? If she does text and it just reads "I'm sorry" what should I do? Talking to her and trying to fix things isn't going to happen as I'm fairly confident she doesn't want a relationship.

I'm lying here at nearly 3AM on the morning of the 16th stoned off my face with my heart torn to shreds. Did I fall too easily? Did I fuck up?

I love you all Embarassed
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Phoenix
Twisted Firestarter



Joined: 01 Aug 2002
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PostPosted: 07:27 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would rip the piss but it's not really fair so I'll forgo it this once. If it's your first relationship of any kind (whether it constitutes an actual relationship is irrelavent) then you're likely to feel pretty cut up when you find out she doesn't feel the same. No point trying to change her mind as it won't work and you'll just drag it out and end up feeling worse. See what she says, if it doesn't sound good forget it.

No doubt it's not her first one so she doesn't feel its worth the hassle, particularly due to the distance I imagine. Women are needy* and when you can't be there on their demand they get whingy, whiney and annoying so living 200miles apart with a stretch of sea in between probably didn't float her boat, har.

Best way to look at it is she's probably been around the block a good few times anyway, it's a small island so they must do something for fun.

Oh and as it sounds like it all happened via your friend, if you get pissed off and angry don't take it out on her, easy to do stupid things when your annoyed.


*I realise not all women are like this, just most.
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lee8040
Nearly there...



Joined: 27 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: 09:32 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think your showing her your to eager etc slow down abit leave it a few days without texting her, you may find she'll text you as shes noticed your attention has gone off her a little. girls dont like guys who are to eager
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st3v3
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Joined: 16 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 09:43 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just put your cards on the table, tell her what your after and that way you know where you both stand, delaying all the inevitable outcomes dragging on. Thumbs Up
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Tonka
World Chat Champion



Joined: 11 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 09:49 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha! I was in Ventnor this weekend - naughty weekend away!! Embarassed

Oh and my advice FWIW - take it a bit easy as at 17 she's got a lot of living to do and she's clearly not too sure about how she feels and doesn't want to hurt you either, but most importantly don't get yourself all hurt and upset. You've done the right thing by being honest and kind and if she doesn't appreciate that, it's her loss. Life's short so make sure you don't get too down about it, but keep in touch with her for when she comes to her senses, stupid girl!! Wink

Unfortunately, it would seem that the nice guys (like you) get screwed over by hormonal females at an early age and end up all bitter and twisted, so us nice girls only ever meet guys with heaps of chips on their shoulders Rolling Eyes
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Kwaks
I'm not a fast rider



Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: 11:02 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like she wants to play the field a bit, and that gives you the space to do the same.

Whats that saying? "If you love them then you will set them free"? something like that.

You never know, she may come back at some point in the future, just live your life to the full in the meantime.


BTW you are too young to settle with one girl Thumbs Up
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jack_zxr400
World Chat Champion



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PostPosted: 12:49 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

back away from it..

let her come to you

if she doesnt then she obviously didnt want anything in the first place.. dont get hurt over a girl that doesnt have an intention of even trying.. plenty of time for love etc Thumbs Up
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quacker_boy
Cuddle Bitch



Joined: 06 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: 13:17 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Karma To you all guys, thanks Smile Thumbs Up

Thanks for refraining Phoenix Thumbs Up

And I trust the pun wasn't intended Laughing

I have no intention of blaming my friend for any of it, she's one of my closest girl mates and it's not her fault.

Lee, yeh I was planning on doing something like that Thumbs Up

St3v3, that was pretty much how the conversation went last night, I told her that I liked her and did want to be in a relationship and she basically didn't.

I dunno, I guess I'm just wound up because I spent £160 quid on going to see her and ask her out and it's rendered me skint for the rest of the month and I've got nothing to show for it now.

Tonka, dare I ask what your weekend involved? Laughing

Thanks for the nice guy comment, unfortunately I know exactly what you mean, if you do a search in Random Banter for The Ladder Theory and have a read through, it's long, but you'll understand why my custom title is Cuddle Bitch, I've never had a relationship but I've lost count of the amount of times friends girlfriends have come to me to talk about their relationship and for a cuddle because everyone else at my age (a few years ago more so than now) just enjoyed playing the field and they got hurt.

Kwaker, I know I'm too young to get married etc but most of my friends now have been in relationships for a couple of years, probably down to Uni mostly which I guess is what she was on about.

Jack, yeh, shit happens I guess Rolling Eyes
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Tonka
World Chat Champion



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PostPosted: 16:25 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

quacker_boy wrote:
Tonka, dare I ask what your weekend involved? Laughing


Indulgence - posh hotel, excellent food and too much to drink.....roses, presents etc. Wink
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piazza
Could Be A Chat Bot



Joined: 23 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: 17:06 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leave on good terms, could be a booty call for the future? :lol:

PS nice guys finish last :up:
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SoND
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PostPosted: 17:59 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks like you've got plenty of serious answers. Thinking


Keep it informal and bang the flaps off her when you can. Thumbs Up
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Visitor Q
$25 whore



Joined: 30 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: 19:05 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in a very vitriolic and misanthropic mood, not to mention fairly miserable... so erm... I think I'll avoid any proper advice on this one for the time being Shifty

As said though, keep things open. Oh and probably want to tame things down a bit. It's a fine line I know, but all relationships are a power play.
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chillpill
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Joined: 12 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: 19:28 - 16 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

a relationship that far away would never of worked , it would of just caused you to miss other oportunities

count yourself lucky Thumbs Up

too be honest i think you did fall too easily mate , girls can have that affect you, there was this girl i thought i "loved" at some pub i used to work out but when i found out it wasnt going to go anywhere i realised i didnt at all lol , loves a fickle thing

now get out there and get high and get a rebound hooker Wink Thumbs Up
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MinhDinh
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PostPosted: 00:10 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Having a relationship where you will hardly see your girlfriend is expensive, and quite frankly not really fulfilling. That's two general reason not to go for her.

The other things I noticed in your first post is that, she isn't someone who seems to really take kissing and talking as a boyfriend/girlfriend thing only. I've been with girls whom talk to all guys in a flirty way. Basically unless they are super hot and you really love banging her, then stay clear.

I'm sure you can get a girl that is not the prettiest, but you will love her very much. If she is hot, then hell yeah, you've done alright for yourself.

Basically, if the girl kissed you after the first meeting, how many other guys has she kisseD? Do you really want to be with a girl like that, in your first relationship?

Last point. She might very well have a STD.
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MaybeGuy
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PostPosted: 00:10 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

so does that mean you're still a virgin?
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Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith
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MinhDinh
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PostPosted: 00:11 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

mattsprattuk wrote:
so does that mean you're still a virgin?


He's not handless you know. Unless he has a really cool bike and is handless

Edit: Also after reading his bio, I assume he is fairly religious because he was born in UAE. Therefore perhaps he kept himself to himself. I respect that very much anyway. Must be hard to stay away from girls.
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Phoenix
Twisted Firestarter



Joined: 01 Aug 2002
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PostPosted: 03:29 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

MinhDinh wrote:
Last point. She might very well have a STD.


She does, its 01983.
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Moonie
World Chat Champion



Joined: 18 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: 05:06 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know exactly the feeling.

Only GF I ever properly had feelings for lives about 200 miles from my house. We got on so amazingly well that we just assumed, I used to take the train up and run from the station every week as I couldn't afford the ticket, and then cause I was away for so long working that I couldn't see her, she shacked up with someone else.

I still see her as a mate but I don't reccomend that, as it rips me up.
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st3v3
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 09:43 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

mattsprattuk wrote:
so does that mean you're still a virgin?
What if he is? Not your place to ask IMO.

There are way too many girls out there who are over flirty, easy to get caught in it when you want it simple..

Sorry it didn't go your way quacker, but you just gotta move on out there and find someone who is worth it. I've also got to take my own advice. Embarassed Sad


Thumbs Up
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MaybeGuy
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PostPosted: 18:34 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

st3v3 wrote:
mattsprattuk wrote:
so does that mean you're still a virgin?
What if he is? Not your place to ask IMO.

Thumbs Up


how about the claiming to have slept with some random girl in bude in a rideout thread?
now this story to contradict that?
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!! Mr. Green
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 18:46 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Similar things happened to me when I were a lad. You get over it.
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quacker_boy
Cuddle Bitch



Joined: 06 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: 20:02 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Matt, I haven't been a virgin since I was 17, but thanks for caring Laughing

MinhDinh Laughing I was born in the UAE, yes, but no, I'm not Muslim and don't study Islam, I'm an out and out brit. And to be honest I'm fairly confident she didn't kiss anyone else, she did say she really liked me.

Chillpill, I never claimed to have "loved" her, I think it's way too strong a phrase to use unless you've been in a serious relationship for a while but I did like her a lot. I'll stay clear of the hooker, I like my dick just the way it is thanks Laughing Thumbs Up

Phoenix, that actually made me lol, thanks Thumbs Up Laughing

Moonie, I guess you saw your girl a few more times than 3 though Laughing

St3v3, yeh, stop wasting time feeling sorry for yourself and get out there Wink

MarJay, meh you're probably right.
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Visitor Q
$25 whore



Joined: 30 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: 20:12 - 17 Feb 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

quacker_boy wrote:

I'll stay clear of the hooker, I like my dick just the way it is thanks Laughing Thumbs Up


But Chris, Polka dots are back in fashion Wink
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s44678
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PostPosted: 15:13 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Re: I never was any good at this. Reply with quote

quacker_boy wrote:
lots of stuff


To be honest mate, at 35 your a bit old to be chasing 17 year old girls around anyway. So best leave it alone I reckon.
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Shaun
Likes 'em bent



Joined: 17 May 2003
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PostPosted: 16:27 - 18 Feb 2009    Post subject: Re: I never was any good at this. Reply with quote

skluff wrote:
To be honest mate, at 35 your a bit old to be chasing 17 year old girls around anyway. So best leave it alone I reckon.


Holy....

Can I just check something, I'm a bit tired but I believe this thread has just reached the point where piss taking is now socially acceptable and quite probably mandatory?
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