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| Pie-Roe |
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Pie-Roe
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 Posted: 23:43 - 25 Feb 2009  Post subject: Emo but about serious matters. |
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Hi all, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post.
Basically, theres nothing wrong with my life, I've got a good job, which pays well for my age, I'm learning loads and it's another big step up the ladder.
I've settled into a new job as a chef at a michelin star restaurant 10 miles from me, I'm on 13.5k a year. I live at home still, have a car no bike currently. I'm 18, 19 august, and my girlfriend, who I get to see regularly is very good to me.
But recently I've been thinking about life, and worrying that I'm not progressing. What happens when I'm 25, 35, and 50 etc. I don't want to be a chef forever, once you get to 30 you either have to work up, or do something else.
I just keep thinking that I'm still living at home, I'm not earning enough to support myself in the big bad world, and what happens if I lose my job, or fuck up bigtime, and can't find another.
Basically I just worry about the future way too much, can't focus on what's now, and always thinking 'I need to be doing this so I can do this in x years time'
Does anyone else think this way or am I just being stupid.
Pyro
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| MarJay |
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MarJay
But it's British!
Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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| Posted: 23:52 - 25 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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I'd say everybody feels that way a lot of the time.
And I'd say £13.5k isn't enough for a chef in a Michelin star restaurant... 
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| MaybeGuy |
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MaybeGuy
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Posted: 23:54 - 25 Feb 2009  Post subject: |
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mid life crisis at 18. nice
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Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith
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| Hoffy |
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Hoffy
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Posted: 00:10 - 26 Feb 2009  Post subject: |
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You seemed like a pretty level headed bloke when I met ya , so Ill talk 2 ya on the level ....
It just depends on what type of person You are really. Some people (myself included) say "fuck it , live for the moment", others plan ahead and think of the future. Its obvious that your the latter ... Sounds to me like You're getting too stressed over what lies ahead tbh. I mean , you said "by the time im 30" ... You never know what could be by then. Could be that You are running your own resteraunt, You could be a head chef. Hell , you could win the lotto on saturday !
So yeah , what i'm saying is , relax a lil , take things step by step 
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| pyx_e |
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pyx_e
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| Itchy |
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Itchy
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| Posted: 00:43 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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You'll feel similar anxieties but about different things , ie oh my god , I've not bought a house yet , I'm not married all my peers have children or I'm not saving enough for my pension.
Sit back and enjoy your youth..
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| Sparks! |
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Sparks!
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| Posted: 03:05 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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I feel quite the same, altho different circumstances slightly.. I'm 23 and still at home, by choice not circumstance though. I earn enough, about £22k this working year.. pay rise very soon so should see £30k in next years P60. I have a nice car, a bike (not used on road) and some nice stuff.. but I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere in life and I think it's mostly because of living at home... and being single... and my life revolving around work nowadays.
It's not a big deal living here as it's just me and my mum in a big house, but when it comes down to it, I'm 23 and living with my mum...
I *think* I have decided to rent with a friend for a while whilst saving for a deposit of my own.. as it's going to take me 2 years to save the £25k-ish deposit needed and I'm begining to wonder if I really want to stay home for those 2 years or move out now, it'll take longer but what the hell... I might end up emigrating anyways...
Er yeah sorry for threadjack, lot playing on my mind lately 
But anyway...
If you're learning lots then surely you're still progressing up your career ladder.. it's not going to happen overnight... trust me! I was on £3 an hour for years wondering if it was ever going to be worth it.... now I'm seeing £22k as an apprentice! so stick at it, don't give up and learn, work hard and look for promotion opportunities where possible.
Save, get a bike if thats what you want again (I too am getting another bike as I feel I've got a bit boring and lost track of the fun side of life...)
You're only 18 mate and you're doing better than I was at 18 so I wouldn't worry too much!!! Just work hard, but have fun too
For what it's worth, my biggest regret is not starting a savings account young.. even if it was only £20 a month or something .. save as much as you can get away with saving from now and you'll really appricieate that in a few years time when you want a house...
Oh and set targets/goals if you can.. I started this at begining of 2008 and it has been the most effective thing I've done, I have acheived a fair bit since last year. Just open a word doc, write a few sections like
"work, money, fun, life"
then put stuff under the sections, my goals range from "go to a comedy gig" to "pass 2391 test and inspect course" also includes "do a bungee jump"
Then cross them off when you complete them (don't delete, just cross off - nice to reflect on what you /have/ acheived as well as what you plan to acheive)
Hope some of that helps.. if not then apologies for my rant, just got home from working night shifts and needed to vent.
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| chris-red |
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chris-red
Have you considered a TDM?
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| killa |
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killa
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| Posted: 09:17 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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What frustrates me more than anything right now is missing out on decent music gigs etc as im not in the city. It takes planning and money and i spend a lot of money on toys and clothes (not toys literally, bits for bike and car.lol) So i need to sort this out, but its just a niggle.
Pyro I think that you need to take note that the stress of thinking this gets you no where but the persistance you have will a positive effect on you in the future, if you have the drive.
Im 25, I have a career, a car, a bike, a lady friend and im a Drum and bass MC working on getting gigs etc. Even when im feeling like im on top i suddenly become aware someones infront making moves. There will always be someone there, so push for what you are passionate about not what you think you need, looking at others. 
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| Fawbish |
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Fawbish
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| Posted: 11:42 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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I'm 20, on around 18K, long distance but long term relationship, got a loada toys, but got a loada debt too. My activities and outgoings are very high, my incomings cover it, thereabouts. Still at home.
Not really got any savings. Im not saying I dont worry about it...but I really dont. I should, I know. It doesnt scare me, persay. I've just done so much already with my life that I refuse to be coerced into living my life to within the confines of anyone elses perspective...if that makes sense. Its a shit attitude in the "long scheme" of things. But then again I dont plan on living a conventional life.
I'm currently in the mindset that I dont particularly want a mortgage, I'll be happy with renting. I've never had the restriction or self will to save. I know renting is dead money, but what are you gonna do with a house? (IF you/we even pay off a mortgage in our lifetimes? Very much doubt it.) Leave it for your kids? What, when your kids are 30 and already doing well on their own? *shrugs*
My view on life usually (though not all the time)...what if you get hit by a bus tomorrow?
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| Kickstart |
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Kickstart
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| Posted: 11:57 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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Hi
My view is don't worry too much. You are 18 and loads of time for things to change.
Long term a house might well be a good idea. Earlier you buy, the earlier the mortgage is paid off and the sooner you are effectively living rent free (and even long before that the mortgage that is not subject to inflation will be FAR less than the rent that will have gone up with inflation). However not sure now is a good time to buy with prices still dropping and houses still being hideously over valued.
Living at home will save you a massive amount of money, but also comes with some strings attached. Whether you can put up with those strings is down to the individual. Not that unusual for people to stay at home until their late 20s, likewise not unusual for some people to refuse to get a place of their own until they can afford everything. Other end of the scale people move out as soon as possible and having bought somewhere sleep on the floor as they cannot afford furniture.
£13k is not a massive amount, but of more concern would be whether it leads up to anything or whether you will be stuck at that level. A friend who was a baker gave up to do totally unrelated work after 20 years in the catering industry. He had just had enough of the environment.
All the best
Keith
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igiyf
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| MinhDinh |
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MinhDinh
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| Posted: 12:16 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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You have always come across as older than 18 to me. Perhaps just live your life like how many 18 year olds are doing?
Go out clubbing?
Find a fun sport that involves a group effort?
Look into another job?
Find something to study?
Start track days?
Buy a PS3 or DSLR camera?
Go to gigs?
At 18, most people are not too concerned about getting a house or living with their parents. Enjoy life because one day the penny will hit the wall (Or whatever the saying is)
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Fawbish
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| Fawbish |
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Fawbish
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| Posted: 13:05 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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| MinhDinh wrote: | You have always come across as older than 18 to me. Perhaps just live your life like how many 18 year olds are doing?
Go out clubbing?
Find a fun sport that involves a group effort?
Look into another job?
Find something to study?
Start track days?
Buy a PS3 or DSLR camera?
Go to gigs?
At 18, most people are not too concerned about getting a house or living with their parents. Enjoy life because one day the penny will hit the wall (Or whatever the saying is) |
Not always as black and white like that mate, though sometimes it is good (and sometimes not) to simplify things into just black and white, in order to get a good grasp of a situation and move forward.
In this case, it sounds like Pyro is the type to mull things over and think about them.
Spending money on short term leisure activities would not be the way for him to de-stress, as an invidual (I would think from what he has written), and Mad_Mans suggestion fits in with the way pyro seems to think.
Though Minhdinh does have a point. Why hurry into being tied down Pyro? You're young only once, and it disappears quicker than you could shout "Happy Birthday".
In my eyes, as soon as you make a concious decision to put a lot of effort into saving (where the money left over is not enough to have fun with - and I dont care what people say, a LOT of stuff needs cash injected into it - fact of life) you are effectively closing the page on fun. Then, when you buy a house. What? Youre gonna have a ton of fun on your own? Working, paying the housebills as well as your own bills, for what? To sit around saying "this is my own place". And then what? Watch telly?
If getting a house is going to restrict what I do to an extent where the only things to do have to be free, I wouldnt do it.
Just the way I think, and no doubt people will say it's a very childish concept and to grow up and join the real world.
Why the fuck should I, in the state its currently in?
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Kickstart
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MinhDinh
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Kickstart
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| GhostRider |
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GhostRider
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| Posted: 14:35 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: Re: Emo but about serious matters. |
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| pyroforlife wrote: | Hi all, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post.
Basically, theres nothing wrong with my life, I've got a good job, which pays well for my age, I'm learning loads and it's another big step up the ladder.
I've settled into a new job as a chef at a michelin star restaurant 10 miles from me, I'm on 13.5k a year. I live at home still, have a car no bike currently. I'm 18, 19 august, and my girlfriend, who I get to see regularly is very good to me.
But recently I've been thinking about life, and worrying that I'm not progressing. What happens when I'm 25, 35, and 50 etc. I don't want to be a chef forever, once you get to 30 you either have to work up, or do something else.
I just keep thinking that I'm still living at home, I'm not earning enough to support myself in the big bad world, and what happens if I lose my job, or fuck up bigtime, and can't find another.
Basically I just worry about the future way too much, can't focus on what's now, and always thinking 'I need to be doing this so I can do this in x years time'
Does anyone else think this way or am I just being stupid.
Pyro |
Fackin hell kiddo, im 25 and will consider myself lucky when, in around 6 months time, I will be able to move in to a rented apartment with 2 other people, because that's the only way I can manage it financially at the moment.
When I were your age (I cant believe i'm actually writing that) I was in my first year of uni, and student loans dont really do much, so was living on £80-100 a week as a line chef in some shitty restaurant. It helps to have a long-term plan but for older people it's easier to say that, I remember at 18 not having a pissing clue what I wanted to do, and have only really started making some serious decisions in the last year about where I want to be in X years time.
Reminds me of that Baz Lurghman (sp?) song "Sunscreen" where it says something along the lines of
"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t."
I think thats a brilliant line. I think you just have to take it into consideration that you're doing well in life in general, you just need to have direction, or perhaps some short-term goals to work towards, whether thats advancing in your current profession, or looking at other options and making some headway into getting what you want from that.
I've generally accepted the fact that I probably won't ever own a house, given the amount of money you need to slam down from the get-go from deposits, solicitors fee's, stamp duty etc etc. of course, then you're commited to at least 25 years of debt, lest we forget having kids of your own to increase your outgoings etc. Unless of course, my salary triples within the next 5 years, but currently thats looking unlikely.
GhostRider
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| Bikeless |
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Bikeless
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| Posted: 14:41 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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Your 18 mate,i wouldn't be worrying about anything,you should be having fun and living life.You have no mortgage,kids,money issues,life's a gas at that age,if only i could turn the clock back,  |
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| Fawbish |
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Fawbish
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| Posted: 15:57 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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| Kickstart wrote: | | Fawbish wrote: | If getting a house is going to restrict what I do to an extent where the only things to do have to be free, I wouldnt do it. |
Conversely, is not getting a house early on going to restrict you financially in the future? Buying a house means extra costs early on in return for long term savings. Renting means saving in the short term for longer term higher costs. You can have your cake or eat it, but unless someone is going to give you a house you cannot do both.
All the best
Keith |
You pose a logical arguement as always keith, but I am not suggesting that having the cake and eating it too is possible. More of a case of looking at the cake in the window, and stealing it.
Nah, seriously. I know, but the way I see it, I am going to be financially restricted (personally) for almost my entire life. With the rising age of retirement, mortgages taking longer etc, I dont see myself being "free" like my parents are currently looking forward to by buying early. (44 years old, mortgage finishes in 2/3 years time) I will never have that option. But I DO have the option to do a lot more (qualifications wise and money wise) of what I enjoy now, using my youth and exuberance to its potential.
It will come back to bite me in the arse, but the way I see it, unless I want to live under a rock all my life, doing nothing except working and paying the bills, I will never lead a "comfortable", debt free lifestyle. Admittedly, Im using fairly loose examples to try and back-up my views, but it's just the way I view things.
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Sparks!
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Fawbish
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Kickstart
The Oracle
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| Posted: 16:59 - 26 Feb 2009 Post subject: |
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| Fawbish wrote: | You pose a logical arguement as always keith, but I am not suggesting that having the cake and eating it too is possible. More of a case of looking at the cake in the window, and stealing it. |
But is that stealing it from yourself?
| Fawbish wrote: | Nah, seriously. I know, but the way I see it, I am going to be financially restricted (personally) for almost my entire life. With the rising age of retirement, mortgages taking longer etc, I dont see myself being "free" like my parents are currently looking forward to by buying early. (44 years old, mortgage finishes in 2/3 years time) I will never have that option. |
Basically you do. If their mortgage is up in 2~3 years time then that means they bought in about 1987, when prices were fairly high and interest rates fairly high, and that they survived 1990 when interest rates were FAR higher than now. Affordability of housing just before this crash was better than the late 1980s (house prices might be 3~4 times as high, but pay has at least doubled and interest rates are at least 1/2, ignoring current very low rates).
Nobody can afford to go out and buy their ultimate home immediatly, and nobody can really expect to. You buy something cheap, and move on in a few years. Looks like houses start at about £60k in Hull, which if you had a 100% mortgage at 8% is about £400 a month interest.
Eg, when I bought a house (in 1989) to get a 3 bed OKish detached house would have cost somewhere in the region of 50k in the east midlands. I was on £9k (not bad money at the time). Mortgage rates were 10% and heading for 15% a few months later. Direct tax was higher (indirect was lower and there was mortgage tax relief on the first £30k). Not a chance I could afford it. Result was I bought a cheap house in a cheap area and put up with the shortcomings (that includes longer commute, sleeping on the floor for a good few months until I could have a bed, no phone for a couple of years, no TV for a couple of years). But still enough money to go out, buy bikes, etc.
| Fawbish wrote: | But I DO have the option to do a lot more (qualifications wise and money wise) of what I enjoy now, using my youth and exuberance to its potential. |
You do, but are you stealing the money for that from yourself in future years. Is it any different to just buying a house now and then spending on credit cards for the toys you want.
| Fawbish wrote: | It will come back to bite me in the arse, but the way I see it, unless I want to live under a rock all my life, doing nothing except working and paying the bills, I will never lead a "comfortable", debt free lifestyle. Admittedly, Im using fairly loose examples to try and back-up my views, but it's just the way I view things. |
Not really expecting anyone to live under a rock, and everyone needs to make their own decisions. Live it up now or live it up later. Later is likely to be a longer time than now. Buy a house "now" (although I think right now is a lousy time to buy, so really I am talking about buying a couple of years in the future / past) and you will have 20~30 years of your working life effectively rent free, with you probably having more money to spend on living it up after about 5 years compared to renting. Money to spend on toys then.
| Sparks! wrote: | I fully appriceate what you're getting at Keith, BUT these days you need approx £20k deposit which is the restricting issue.
I earn enough to comfortably afford a mortgage on my own but I haven't got that deposit so it's not going to happen any time soon..... |
Which will change soon (ie, couple of years). Only reason a 20%+ deposit is needed is because of how much more the banks expect houses to devalue by. They want to be in a situation where the house can devalue, they can reposses and still cover their costs with what is left.
I don't regard a house as an investment that you will see money back on (ie, if you buy a house for £30k and sell it for £60k it is no real win as you just have to spend the extra money on another house that has gone up in price by a similar amount). I do regard it as an investment in reduced costs in the future (like buying decent tools rather than cheap rubbish from the 50p shop).
All the best
Keith
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MarJay
But it's British!
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 17 years, 225 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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