Taybarns - all you can eat (if you have no gag reflex)

[Shaun]

Whilst in Stoke this weekend I visited a fine establishment for some food, below is the email they have now received with my thoughts on the visit.

I was unlucky enough to visit your restaurant sorry, I just checked the defenition of restaurant and it stipulates that it's a place where food is served which wasn't the case on sunday.

So yes, I visited your room on sunday with my mother and little brother, it was his 12th birthday and he wanted to go there for a treat, sadly, the only treat was filling up a napkin with smarties to take home with him.

Upon leaving I stood in amazement at the wording on your signs with claims of quality food. Although by definition it would suggest that the food has a quality of some description which I would certainly agree with, I feel you should elaborate a little more on your signs and point out that it's poor quality food you serve.

After paying £7.95 for the privelage to fetch our own food from your school cafeteria style kitchen we were shown to our table.

Being the impatient type I couldn't really be bothered to go and stand behind the 2 people already waiting for meat so I opted for a couple of slices of pizza and some chips for my first plate of what would become waste.

One bite of the pizza and it was obvious that the only quality it posessed was that it's durable. Not a quality normally associated with pizza I'm sure but I'm pretty sure that if I'd had a bit of string on me I could've made some quite stylish and long lasting flip flops.

After consuming all of 1 bite I abandoned my 1st plate of waste and opted to go get the sunday dinner I'd been longing for all of 20 minutes before leaving the house for my little brothers birthday treat.

Gammon, wow, been a while since I'd had that so boy was I excited as I piled on the roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings alongside it.

The gammon, which shall from now on be referred to as the meat of questionable origin wasn't really what I was expecting. I've tried very hard to attach a quality to the meat of questionable origin but I really have struggled! So one bite of everything on my plate had now confirmed that everything else was on par with the meat of questionable origin and was less than satisfactory. I'd even go as far as saying terrible.

So I walked away abandoning my second plate of waste, surely the saving grace would be your carrot cake, I mean you couldn't really mess that up, could you?

Yes, yes you can, I have never before been dissapointed in cake before but this time I felt that now familiar feeling you get when the food you're consuming isn't up to standard, yes, the gag reflex.

I'd like to say I'd enjoyed my visit but some 30 minutes after getting our table we were now heading outside and calling a taxi to take us to the Cherry tree. It's a lovely pub in Newcastle on the A34, if you ever want to go and find out what food should actually taste like then fully reccomend it.

So, even if I completely ignore the annoying task of paying £8 to go and fetch my own food from your chefs (admit it, they don't have a clue, do they) then I am still somewhat annoyed that so much money was spent going to such a low quality place of eating.

Rest assured though, despite all of the above I will still reccomend Taybarns to all of my friends in Newcastle, ever since going there I have a new found appreciation for food that can be described as edible.

Thanks!

Shaun

[Fawbish]

I especially like the...


"You cant really mess carrot cake up, can you?"

"Yes. Yes you can."
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[Charlie]

On two separate occasions my Dad has left 'foul' written out of the left overs on the plate. I hope they noticed it as both times it was pretty shit.
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[bazza]

Shaun in "Pays pikey prices, gets pikey food." non-shock.


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[strag]

Do £7.95 and quality food go together?
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[Suitor_Stu]

[Shaun]

You can get reasonable meals for that price yes, if you're in Newcastle-under-lyme then there's the Cherry Tree further down the road. Head into town and you can get an ok meal from wetherspoons or one of the many pubs for a similar price.

[Faldo]

I must admit that I haven't been there since it has been re-branded (can't remember what it used to be called, something nautical I think?!), but when I went there a few years ago it was shite food. However, a few people have commented to me that the food is good and that it's always really busy.

You certainly can get a nice meal in Stoke for £7.95. As Shaun said, The Cherry Tree, or China Gardens, or The Caudwell Tavern is not bad at £5 for a carvery.
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[pa_broon74]

Always a gamble with these places, haven't heard of Tayburns, we have toby carvery's and beefeaters up this way.

The food is at best average (I'm no gourmet mind...) What annoys me about them is families with babies.

What is the point in bringing a 4 month old baby out for its tea, it won't appreciate it and those folks forced to listen to it squeel, scream and bray louldy for the duration of their meal won't appreciate it either.

My dad and I developed tinnitus* in a toby carvery after a couple just would not pick up their screaming child and fuck off with it. Its like people who snore using communal rooms in Youth Hostels; Just why? No, seriously WHY?? (Used a youth hostel once; never again; its for dicks and tight arses who won't pay for a B&B.)



* We didn't get tinnitus, it was just really annoying. We complained but staff wouldn't go over and feck them off.
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[Tonka]

[Flip]

[Tarmacsurfer]

[JonB]

There are a couple of pubs around here that do half decent Carvery's for £3.50 a pop. Busy as hell though.
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[sickpup]

By sheer coincidence I was in Stoke on Trent as well over Thursday and Friday and discovered that Walton Services has some damn decent sandwiches which is just as well as it appears everywhere else closes at about 9pm.

[mooserx]

ha ha ha ha, can't believe you went there shaun, everyone knows its utter shite!!!!!!! unlucky.
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[OssY]

sweet matey peep. update us if you get a reply. Might be a big IF though.

[Glen]

We've got a Taybarns up here in Barnsley and from what I can gather people from round these parts love it but then if you've ever been to Barnsley you could probably appreciate why this is...

[Scouse]

Oh dear! That was a good laugh reading that email though

It must of been bad though if it's driven you to reccomend the Cherry tree

[D O G]

[Shaun]

Don't get me started on the bloody kids running round the place.

Kids shouldn't be allowed to go a plce like that and if they are then the parents should be intelligent enough to go fetch the food for their kids instead of letting the little shit bags run round at 60mph throwing their food about.

Oh and Damofo, don't think for one second that you want your kid to shut up more than the strangers around you do, when I go out I don't take a kid with me, mostly because I don't have one but also because I don't want to have to listen to one. Guess what, I also don't want to listen to your kid or anyone elses either.

I quite like that in Manchester there's a few places I can go where kids are never about, in fact, I love that.

[JonB]

I think allowing kids into pubs is sometthing that should be outlawed straight away. Wetherspoons has gone right down the shitter since it has allowed kids to run around like headless chickens.

Parents should also be given a restraining order, forbidding them to take a pushchair to any town or city centre during any major sale event/weekend. Shops tend to be quite small, so to have a "aisle-wide" pushchair getting in the way of EVERYBODY whilst their kid wails like an uncontrollable monster is probably one of the most infuriating things to encounter whilst being a male doing the worst thing known to man; clothes shopping.
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[Shaun]

[mistergixer]

If a pub/restaurant decides they want to allow children on their premises, then that is their decision.

If you don't like it you are free to patronise another place where the management's view is akin to yours.

It seems it is only this country which perpetuates the ridiculous Victorian view of 'children should be seen and not heard'. Go to Europe (for example) and children are made more than welcome in restaurants - sometimes they do play up a bit, but nobody really bats an eyelid because it's just kids being kids.

[partridge]

This country!

[/partridge]
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[D O G]

[Dragonfly]

I dont think we have a place like that anywhere around here, I certainly wouldnt be in such an establishment as I like food suitable for human consumption.
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