When you take a shit on a tree, karma will strike back! lol!

[The Tot]

Okay,

Karma works in funny ways

I came back from uni to london and promptly got asked to go out and get mashed with my mates. Amongst many things that were typical of me, i was so bladdered that i took a dump under a tree at the top of my mates road because I was turtling so much, and to prevent waking his parents up with my drunken stumble, he persuaded me to lay a brick on the road! ... and yes, a video will probably end up going on facebook too!

Suffice to say, i've been on a good spell of karma recently, doing my uni work well and partying and seemingly getting on top of things, but then i knew it had to end some how.

So for those that looked at my facebook status recently, i'll explain what happen here.

Karma strikes: part 1

Inevitably, my arai sidepod broke. Ironically, i was watching a youtube tutorial by arai on how to remove the sidepods and adjust the base plates. That's when the sidepod snapped. So I had to hunt for a new side pod... tried everywhere, but my mate at Metropolis Vauxhall sorted me out. £25 for a new side pod due to karma biting my arse after i didn't wipe post-crap!

Karma strikes: Part 2

On the way to vauxhall from hanger lane, i went past the A40 flyoever down through Marylebone filtering pleasantly and safely. I wanted to turn onto baker street to do a u-turn to get myself down edgware road. At this point, traffic was static but the lights were green. There was a van ahead of me that was distracted by a drunken tramp getting arrested by a police riot van in the central reservaton of the A40, and rather than paying attention to the traffic ahead, i did a lifesaver to check if there were any cars passing on my right. By this point, the brain to throttle interface was working on autopilot. But before it was too late, i realised my wheels were cocked but the van ahead wasn't moving. Jab the front brake and i fell on my arse! Right in the middle of baker street. The police had gone by that point but nevertheless, 3 lanes of traffic stopped as i picked myself up and put my bike by the pavement. I thought I'd spare the shunt and just fall off cos it woulda been my fault if I went into the back of the van. Funnily enough, he just moved away as soon after I stacked it!

The van behind me looked at me profusely and shrugged his head, protesting his innocence. I just held my hand up gesticulating that it was my own fault and did a gracious bow to him/saluting him to say thanks for not running into me! Nobody bothered to help me, but it was clear that I was OK and so was my bike.

So, sparing the embarrasment factor, the only thing damaged was my HID ballast where a cable came loose. That was rectified as soon as I got back.

For this, I've got to thank two things


Motrax DHM crash mushrooms - if it weren't for this, i'd have to end up looking for new RHS fairings and potentially a new clutch cover... My micron can looked completely unscratched!

My Boblebee backpack! 2 years ago, this was the reason why I didn't skid into oncoming traffic. It played its role again today to stop me from skidding into the next lane... and to keep my arai off the floor!

But Karma works in funny ways... whenever I end up lean/drunk and do stupid things which are morally dispicable, i get stung financially. So the morale of this story is.. DONT SHIT ON TREES!

Oh, and if you DO have braided hoses, please make sure you know how powerful they are before you start giving a fist-full of front brake. (everybody was commenting on how sharp my brakes were after i fitted new lines and bled them through).

I've got no pictures to post because there's nothing to see really... If you want to see a pic of my bike - go to bikepics.com and check out pic of the day for 16th March, cos that's what the bike's looking like post crash!

But thanks to those on facebook who lolled at it and checked to see if i was OK...


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The Tot 2019 Z1000SX - 2007 R1
Never argue with autism

[tutton]

quality story
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Past: '05 Peugeot XPS '99 Aprillia RS125 '94 FZR600R
Current: '02 ZX636 A1P '51 CCM R30

[baldy]

Can i have a pic of your turd?
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One day i will rule the world, just not today.

[bacon]

i have a pretty gross story about being pissed and turtling

walking back from a club and was dieing for a crap, so i jump over a wall to the river bank, im pissed so my balanace was rubbish and im slowly stumbling backwards while dumping, i realise im almost going to go down the verge and into the river so i start going forward again. wiped my arse with some grass and headed home

woke up to a stinking room where i basically shat into my jeans while walking forwards to avoid the river the grass tissue was no good either haha

pretty gross, i think karma was repayed straight away

edit: glad to hear your blade wasnt scratched too dude!

[TheDonUK]

Unlucky Titz,

If only you had put some decent rubber on your blade instead of those rubbish Dunlops the front wouldent have let go
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[Current Bikes - GSXR-750 K5 & C90-97 ] [Previous Bikes: Runner 125, YBR 125, GS500, Bandit 600, Hornet 600, ZX6R-99, C90-99, R1-99, XT600E-04, GSXR-750 K4, CRF250L '16]

[eddclarke]

I had a bust up with Karma, after I sold a couple dodgy laptops to some nuns. Learnt my lesson there...
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Honda XR125L 06 ----> Yamaha FZ6 05 + ex SAS XR250 --> VFR800 + XR250r

[The Tot]

Mate, u have no idea about what happened in my freshers year! I shat my pants coming home from a night club; forfeiting a girl's post-club party so that i can run home ASAP to take a dump. It failed. Being drunk, i was stuck at a roundabout and wanted to wait for the green man to appear on the pelican crossing. I farted, but it was a follow-through-er. So conceeding to inevitable pant shitting, i just stood there with a grin and pooped my pants gratuitously! I ran home frog marching to remove any nuggets of crap in my trouser legs. I stopped every 20 yards doing a kickstart motion with my left leg trying to dislodge remaining shit.

I still have the remnants of that night! My GAS respol honda jeans were stained with shit; but because i washed them with my soiled red Vans at 60 degree heat to kill of any faecal matter, the vans turned out pink and my jeans were stainwashed a deep purple hue!

My housemates wondered why their washing was strewn across the kitchen and why i had nubuck pink shoes and jeans in the washing machine!

So, my pooing under the tree was meant to avert that... and it did.. but not when you leave a mister whippy and hankie for some dog walker to find the next day in middle suburbia lol!
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The Tot 2019 Z1000SX - 2007 R1
Never argue with autism

[The Tot]

[s44678]

Crikey. If you put all that down to bad karma from pooing under a tree, I'd hate to see what happens to you if you pooed on a Buddhist monk.

[Legsy.]

I've got BT020's on my CBR6F and they're awesome tyres, especially in wet. Got no strips on my rears either, don't mean I'm especially quick..

[TheDonUK]

Im not suggesting sport rubber mate, just something other than what dunlop ripped of matchbox cars...

As i say all the time Pilot Road 2's when your done with those dunlops.
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[Current Bikes - GSXR-750 K5 & C90-97 ] [Previous Bikes: Runner 125, YBR 125, GS500, Bandit 600, Hornet 600, ZX6R-99, C90-99, R1-99, XT600E-04, GSXR-750 K4, CRF250L '16]

[M1ghtyDUck]

[metalangel]

Surely part of any pre-going out ritual involves having a big shit?

That way, if you pull, you won't start breaking wind/following through all over her sheets.
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[The Tot]

I was supposed to do it 4 months ago on that same tree coming home from Sin City at the Electric Ballroom in camden... epic fail! But i did it now and karma has evened it out
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The Tot 2019 Z1000SX - 2007 R1
Never argue with autism

[UnknownStuntm...]

[UnknownStuntm...]

Titz, if that's your interpretation of Karma, you're off the mark bud. Plainly, Karma only gets you back once. You turd on a tree, the tree falls on your head, a bird craps on you, you slip in it when you get up, your ass falls off when you get in, etc etc.

So, In my book, Karma works the other way too. So you should be on the lookout for some positive 'helmet' based Karma coming at you. Also, some positive 'tramp' shaped Karma. Sometimes, as you know, Karma cuts corners and kills two birds with one stone (think you can see where I'm going with this...). So basically, some tramp is going to bum rape you. See, I said it was positive! Carry a camera so we can all see it.

[B10Hazard]

[quote="bacon"]i have a pretty gross story about being pissed and turtling

walking back from a club and was dieing for a crap, so i jump over a wall to the river bank, im pissed so my balanace was rubbish and im slowly stumbling backwards while dumping, i realise im almost going to go down the verge and into the river so i start going forward again. wiped my arse with some grass and headed home

woke up to a stinking room where i basically shat into my jeans while walking forwards to avoid the river the grass tissue was no good either haha

pretty gross, i think karma was repayed straight away



Thats just fvcking vile mate !
Grass !! Grasssssssssssssssssss, whats that gonna do !
Errrrrr man. EPIC


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Current bike .. The police stole it
No longer any socks
Let me take you on a trip . . let me show the world in my eyes.