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| mistergixer |
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mistergixer
World Chat Champion
Joined: 15 Jun 2005
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 Posted: 16:36 - 20 Apr 2009  Post subject: A very, very strange dream...... |
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Last night i had the most strange dream:
It was graduation day at my University (which is strange because i never went to Uni), and i got a message calling me into the HR department. The HR department was staffed by the 2 women who made up the HR department in my previous job.
I was told i needed to speak to one of the HR women (Nicky) who was busy at the moment, so i should go off and enjoy the grounds of the Uni for a while - especially their recreation (and fully functioning) Nazi concentration camp gas chamber.
I wandered into the gas chamber 'showers' to discover Eric Morecambe and Bernard Cribbins getting changed after playing a round of squash.
I couldn't find the lightswitch to go into the actual gas chamber, so decided to leave. Just as i opened the door i was greeted by Coronation Street's resident Scottish psychopath Tony Gordon, who insisted on telling me all the details of his new get-rich-quick scheme which involved eBay and drop-shipping.
I finally managed to loose him and wandered around the grounds, here i bumped into loads of people i knew (from junior school to present day) who kept asking me how my wife was and when our baby was due (how they knew this detail i don't know).
After this, the dream morphed slightly and i was no longer attending Uni. I was, in fact, working for a car sales company - specifically a Volvo dealership. They only had one car for sale, which was a new version of the old Volvo 840 estate - the main differences being it had 12 seats and the bodywork was made entirely of glass, it was also a police vehicle and had lights and sirens mounted on the roof.
At this point i decided it was time to go back to the HR department, when i arrived there, Nicky from HR had changed into a rather saucy dress, she kissed me and announced to me 'I'm your Turkey, do whatever you want to me', before stripping off to reveal a body designed for sin and sin alone.
Then, i woke up, with a boner that can only be described as resembling a baby's arm clutching a shiny red apple. Try as i might i couldn't get back off to sleep to give Nicky the good seeing to that she so desperately deserved. The only recourse for me was a trip to the bathroom to shake hot, white coconuts from my veiney tree of love. After that, sleep came quickly, but i never got back to see Nicky.
Ok BCFers, analyse that!
____________________
Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube |
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| Wafer_Thin_Ham |
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Wafer_Thin_Ham
Super Spammer
Joined: 18 Nov 2005
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Posted: 16:38 - 20 Apr 2009  Post subject: |
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You're a mentalist. 
I had a really weird one recently, but not that weird.
I delivered my (female) friend's baby at work, and she isn't even pregnent.
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| cheesyleps |
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cheesyleps
Renault 5 Driver
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
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| McGee |
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McGee
O RLY?
Joined: 24 Jun 2005
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| Posted: 16:44 - 20 Apr 2009 Post subject: |
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How about saving your dog that died a few months back from a horde of zombies.
I mean proper fucking them up to blowing heads off and everything.
Then escaping the scene with a star trek-esque button in which you pushed and then appeared some where else.
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Its pronounced Jixxer! |
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| Kwaks |
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Kwaks
I'm not a fast rider
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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| Posted: 16:44 - 20 Apr 2009 Post subject: |
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Shame you never got to give Nicky that Basting 
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www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!! |
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| mistergixer |
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mistergixer
World Chat Champion
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| LustyLew |
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LustyLew
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| Posted: 17:06 - 20 Apr 2009 Post subject: |
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I tend not to remember my dreams.
Weirdest thing I remember is waking myself up screaming "help help!". Had just moved into my new place. The neighbors must have thought a nut case had moved in!!
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| cheesyleps |
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cheesyleps
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| SoND |
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SoND
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Posted: 17:22 - 20 Apr 2009  Post subject: |
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You're a nazi closet volvo driver that has a fetish for turkeys. Sounds pretty normal to me. 
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Go back to bed - You have no rights - "Streetfighters ~ Mainstream motorcycling's crackwhore sister." |
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| neil. |
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neil.
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| SlimRick |
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SlimRick
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| killa |
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killa
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| Posted: 08:09 - 21 Apr 2009 Post subject: Re: A very, very strange dream...... |
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neil.
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| Steve H |
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Steve H
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Joined: 18 Oct 2003
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Posted: 09:29 - 21 Apr 2009  Post subject: Re: A very, very strange dream...... |
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| mistergixer wrote: | It was graduation day at my University (which is strange because I never went to Uni), and I got a message calling me into the HR department. The HR department was staffed by the 2 women who made up the HR department in my previous job. |
You constantly regret declining the University of Skegness Welding Course in favour of the Office job and subsequently having a threesome with the HR department employees (affectionately known as the 'Blue Rinse Babes') in your lunch hour (instead of your usual Pot Noodle/Wank combo) as now you're gonna appear in the Guinness Book of records as the father of two of the oldest women to give birth on the same day (Doris - 72 and Nicky - 64).
| mistergixer wrote: | I was told I needed to speak to one of the HR women (Nicky) who was busy at the moment, so I should go off and enjoy the grounds of the Uni for a while - especially their recreation (and fully functioning) Nazi concentration camp gas chamber. I wandered into the gas chamber 'showers' to discover Eric Morecambe and Bernard Cribbins getting changed after playing a round of squash. |
The gas chamber imagery is purely the Welding course classroom - Bernard Cribbins' appearance is basically your mind subconsciously attempting to take you to a better, more familiar place during your dream (I'd guess that 'Right Said Fred' is your favourite song of all time and a 'cup of tea' is your preferred beverage). Eric Morecambe and the squash is the negative side of your mind dragging you back to your dream state (I'm assuming that your Mum 'n Dad sent you to bed before Morecambe and Wise started on a Saturday Night which left you with parental issues and that you'd rather drink your own wee than have a glass of squash). Just tell me if I'm touching a nerve here mistergixer - I can stop if this is too painful a journey.
| mistergixer wrote: | I couldn't find the lightswitch to go into the actual gas chamber, so decided to leave. Just as I opened the door I was greeted by Coronation Street's resident Scottish psychopath Tony Gordon, who insisted on telling me all the details of his new get-rich-quick scheme which involved eBay and drop-shipping. |
We've all got issues with the Jocks (they're all fockin' mental), don't worry about it. Your failure to find the light switch is a metaphor for relationships - I'm guessing that you're in a happy relationship (definitely married). Failure to find a light switch in dreams of this nature is your failure to admit that you’re suppressing your sexuality. I'd go so far as to suggest that you may be Bi or even Homosexual.
| mistergixer wrote: | I finally managed to loose him and wandered around the grounds, here I bumped into loads of people I knew (from junior school to present day) who kept asking me how my wife was and when our baby was due (how they knew this detail I don't know). |
Your classmates knew you were Homo/Bi (are you suppressing a School changing room/shower faux pas?) and their questions in relation to your wife/child are that of surprise not of interest.
| mistergixer wrote: | After this, the dream morphed slightly and I was no longer attending Uni. I was, in fact, working for a car sales company - specifically a Volvo dealership. They only had one car for sale, which was a new version of the old Volvo 840 estate - the main differences being it had 12 seats and the bodywork was made entirely of glass, it was also a police vehicle and had lights and sirens mounted on the roof. |
Issues with authority (I bet my left goolie to a packet of tomato flavoured Snaps that your Parents/Grandparents or someone you saw as a figure that carried a lot of clout owned a Volvo) the lights and sirens merely highlight this point.
| mistergixer wrote: | At this point I decided it was time to go back to the HR department, when I arrived there, Nicky from HR had changed into a rather saucy dress, she kissed me and announced to me 'I'm your Turkey, do whatever you want to me', before stripping off to reveal a body designed for sin and sin alone. |
Nicky was a 9/10 and Doris was a 6/10 hence your preference for her out of the two HR old biddy's. She's the one that you should set up home with and live happily ever after (with your new son who you should incidentally call 'Bernard'). In addition I bet Nicky was more the more masculine looking of the pair.
| mistergixer wrote: | Then, I woke up, with a boner that can only be described as resembling a baby's arm clutching a shiny red apple. Try as I might I couldn't get back off to sleep to give Nicky the good seeing to that she so desperately deserved. The only recourse for me was a trip to the bathroom to shake hot, white coconuts from my veiney tree of love. |
Your failure to merely type 'I had a wank after I woke up during a wet dream' highlights my concern for your wellbeing - PM me ASAP for further analysis.
____________________
Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original. |
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| The999Kid |
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The999Kid
World Chat Champion
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
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| Posted: 09:36 - 21 Apr 2009 Post subject: Re: A very, very strange dream...... |
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| Steve H wrote: | | mistergixer wrote: | It was graduation day at my University (which is strange because I never went to Uni), and I got a message calling me into the HR department. The HR department was staffed by the 2 women who made up the HR department in my previous job. |
You constantly regret declining the University of Skegness Welding Course in favour of the Office job and subsequently having a threesome with the HR department employees (affectionately known as the 'Blue Rinse Babes') in your lunch hour (instead of your usual Pot Noodle/Wank combo) as now you're gonna appear in the Guinness Book of records as the father of two of the oldest women to give birth on the same day (Doris - 72 and Nicky - 64).
| mistergixer wrote: | I was told I needed to speak to one of the HR women (Nicky) who was busy at the moment, so I should go off and enjoy the grounds of the Uni for a while - especially their recreation (and fully functioning) Nazi concentration camp gas chamber. I wandered into the gas chamber 'showers' to discover Eric Morecambe and Bernard Cribbins getting changed after playing a round of squash. |
The gas chamber imagery is purely the Welding course classroom - Bernard Cribbins' appearance is basically your mind subconsciously attempting to take you to a better, more familiar place during your dream (I'd guess that 'Right Said Fred' is your favourite song of all time and a 'cup of tea' is your preferred beverage). Eric Morecambe and the squash is the negative side of your mind dragging you back to your dream state (I'm assuming that your Mum 'n Dad sent you to bed before Morecambe and Wise started on a Saturday Night which left you with parental issues and that you'd rather drink your own wee than have a glass of squash). Just tell me if I'm touching a nerve here mistergixer - I can stop if this is too painful a journey.
| mistergixer wrote: | I couldn't find the lightswitch to go into the actual gas chamber, so decided to leave. Just as I opened the door I was greeted by Coronation Street's resident Scottish psychopath Tony Gordon, who insisted on telling me all the details of his new get-rich-quick scheme which involved eBay and drop-shipping. |
We've all got issues with the Jocks (they're all fockin' mental), don't worry about it. Your failure to find the light switch is a metaphor for relationships - I'm guessing that you're in a happy relationship (definitely married). Failure to find a light switch in dreams of this nature is your failure to admit that you’re suppressing your sexuality. I'd go so far as to suggest that you may be Bi or even Homosexual.
| mistergixer wrote: | I finally managed to loose him and wandered around the grounds, here I bumped into loads of people I knew (from junior school to present day) who kept asking me how my wife was and when our baby was due (how they knew this detail I don't know). |
Your classmates knew you were Homo/Bi (are you suppressing a School changing room/shower faux pas?) and their questions in relation to your wife/child are that of surprise not of interest.
| mistergixer wrote: | After this, the dream morphed slightly and I was no longer attending Uni. I was, in fact, working for a car sales company - specifically a Volvo dealership. They only had one car for sale, which was a new version of the old Volvo 840 estate - the main differences being it had 12 seats and the bodywork was made entirely of glass, it was also a police vehicle and had lights and sirens mounted on the roof. |
Issues with authority (I bet my left goolie to a packet of tomato flavoured Snaps that your Parents/Grandparents or someone you saw as a figure that carried a lot of clout owned a Volvo) the lights and sirens merely highlight this point.
| mistergixer wrote: | At this point I decided it was time to go back to the HR department, when I arrived there, Nicky from HR had changed into a rather saucy dress, she kissed me and announced to me 'I'm your Turkey, do whatever you want to me', before stripping off to reveal a body designed for sin and sin alone. |
Nicky was a 9/10 and Doris was a 6/10 hence your preference for her out of the two HR old biddy's. She's the one that you should set up home with and live happily ever after (with your new son who you should incidentally call 'Bernard'). In addition I bet Nicky was more the more masculine looking of the pair.
| mistergixer wrote: | Then, I woke up, with a boner that can only be described as resembling a baby's arm clutching a shiny red apple. Try as I might I couldn't get back off to sleep to give Nicky the good seeing to that she so desperately deserved. The only recourse for me was a trip to the bathroom to shake hot, white coconuts from my veiney tree of love. |
Your failure to merely type 'I had a wank after I woke up during a wet dream' highlights my concern for your wellbeing - PM me ASAP for further analysis. |
Holy Crap! that deserves a f*ck load of Karma just for effort!
____________________
NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter |
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| J0Al1 |
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J0Al1
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 17 years, 161 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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