Back to work & Depression

[TUG]

Right, i know you all think am an attention seeker an stuff and i'm dubbed emo wolf...

But seriously now, im finding it quite hard, i'm back to work since my big crash after my 10 months of numerous surgerys, and recovery (still recovering) i'm finally in my element, but its all different, my tools have gone missing, my overalls, my boots and my gloves, i tried to shrug it off, but its not really working, its like i've been let down.

I dont feel like i enjoy my job like i used to, it used to be part of my release but now its hard to focus, plus my back and my hip which is pinned is really starting to hurt me alot.

I suffer from depression, its not me imagining it, i've been diagnosed with it and it got worse when my dad passed away.

I just need a bit of advice really, or some methods of dealing with it. I'd talk to my mum about it but i cant bring myself to do it, my friends are busy with there own problems.
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[Scotsman37]

Ask your Doctor to see a psychologist about your depression to find a way to cope with your feelings, as a psychiatrist is more likely to use medication control your depression if there was a problem in your brain except that could hamper your ability to focus when driving, etc, on the other hand a psychologist prefers mainly to talk things out, if found that there is no physical problem causing your depression except only uses drugs as a last resort if it's beneficial.

[TUG]

I went to see a doctor about "methods" and he went through what i did concerning the death of his parent, he said he rather me see a psychiatrist but then i had my crash on my GSXR and couldnt attend, i have alot to deal with right now, but i will have to look into getting treatment again, but at the same time i dunno i feel like i'm affraid or you know i might get judged or something.

I know i'm ill, i can accept it. Thing is, when i'm on a high day, people constantly bombard me with negativity and it gets to me, i dont understand why when they see am trying my best to be normal they have to drag me down.

I know this is never going to stop, its life long just like the rest of my illnesses, i just have to find a way to manage it.
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[Scotsman37]

Sometimes people ridicule what they don't understand without thinking, and so it's just plain ignorance on their part.

My brother in-law is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and do not worry about going to a nearby hospital for help, as my brother prefers to call them Rehabilitation Centres rather than a Psychatriac facility/hospital so as there is no stigma attached to it when a person is looking for help.

So, good luck and seek regular professional help with your condition and learn to live a normal life as possible!

[BanditsHigh]

Deal with each day as it comes mate ... don't think too much as I've always found that makes me even more depressed ... try and focus on the stuff that makes you happy and positive ... it's easier said than done but I've always been a firm believer that the best help you can get is yourself.

With regards being on a high and people dragging you down, they may not be doing it on purpose, they may just be voicing their own problems without realising the effect it has on you.

As mentioned above, there are people out there who can help ... you are the one who needs to make the move to get the help, and they won't treat you like a lesser being because you have problems. The biggest step you need to make has already been done, you realise you have a problem

I was made redundant six months ago and still have no job, I don't have the confidence to get another as I feel like a complete loser, which most of my friends would completely disagree with ... but when I feel down I feel down and that's all there is too it ...I'm my own worst enemy.

I'll probably lose my house and the lovely garage I've just built myself by the end of the year ... I've always found life difficult, especially when I see other people who seem to just sail through life ... end of the day thought they have their problems as well.

Fingers crossed you get yourself back on the up again

All the best ... Barry

P.S. Whenever you're feeling down just think at least you're not me

[mark83]

I might get stick for this, but I think going to church and talking to a priest might be more helpful than you might imagine.

At the end of the day, we all have daily struggles. And we all face big shocks in our life. But there is a reason to all this.

It might be a simplistic view, but imagine if everything was easy and everything was done. It would be terrible - just like having a computer game and having no missions to overcome and being invincible. Or having a bike that goes around corners by itself and never needs you to risk being on the edge.

Challenges, however hard and scary, make like worth living. Without them we would all go insane in a matter of days, if not hours.

Good luck with it mate.

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Kawasaki ER6n -> Honda CBR600RR -> Honda VTR 1000 -> Moto Guzzi Norge 1200
Buy my Mercedes 350 Sport AMG Evo

[Ste]

See if you can get them to prescribe you Olanzapine, quetiapine or Lorazepam. Those are all nice.

Psychologists and psychiatrists aren't worth bothering with. All they'll do is ask lots of questions, get you to do various tests or assesments, and then you start to realise nothing has actually changed making it a complete waste of time.

[steppen22]

what happened with your crash?
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no regrets, no retreat, no apology.
I've made mistakes in the past, and I apologise for FUCK ALL.

[yambabe]

Practical things first.

Re your missing stuff, that's not on. Have you had a word with your boss? It's possible that people have "borrowed" them thinking you might not be coming back, maybe a quiet word would see them slowly reappearing?

Then there's the pain management. I'm assuming you're still mechanicing so you need to look at options to ensure you're not putting too much strain on your pinned bits. You can get special chairs/stools that will keep you in position to do the fettling that you need to do but take the strain off your mending bits. Ask your GP if you can be referred to an occupational therapist as they will assess what you have to do and come up with sugestions as to how you can best do it.

The mental thing is much more difficult cos having "been there done that" with depression I know it takes everyone differently and there is no magical cure that will suit everyone. Drugs are OK in the short term but for me I ended up thinking I would rather be depressed than zombified in the end so I had to stop taking them. Talking helped me enormously, and in fact although I doubt your family and friends are really too busy to have time or be bothered with you sometimes I have found that talking to someone I am not close to is easier than opening up to people who know me well.
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Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate.

[Scotsman37]

[TUG]

[bladerunner]

Fix the SRAD..take it for a good thrashing and the world will suddenly seem a much brighter place!!!!!


Works for me every time!!
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Current bikes...cbr929, KDX200's, Rd125lc mk2, RGV250's

[TUG]

Saturday was my last day at work for the week, i've lost all track of time and i'm slowing down at work, i'm failing miserably to keep ontop of things, and all everyone seems to do is pick at my mistakes and drop me further into it.

My mentor hasnt said anything yet but i worry about what he thinks of me, i dont want to let him down as i was to impress him an learn everything he knows to better him in a way. I want to be the best in the north west on the spanners and bikes, but if i cant impress him one of the few elites we have here then he will soon get fed up of me i gather.

I'm fallin apart, i dont think they realise the last thing i want to do when i've cycled with a broken hip 4 miles into work is make a fuckin brew, i know no one likes doing it, but by the time i get into work, i'm spent, its game over from the word go but i dont show it.

I'm starting to think its time to hand in my notice, but thats not me, i dont give up anyone who knows me knows i never give up, so thats how bad its getting.
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[Scotsman37]

YOU need to contact your Doctor to ask to see a psychologist, as you may have to go on sick leave, possibly indefinitely, as my brother in-law, that I mentioned about ealier, and part of his job to represent people having to claim disabliity due to personal reasons that you are finding it hard to cope mentally at the moment - seek some help & advice for what is your best next step for now.

[TUG]

I'll contact my doctor soon at some point, but i cant do sick leave again, i've had the last 10 months off.

I just need to adjust but its taking time and its difficult but i am managing it. I cant give up now.
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[Scotsman37]

Check with the local citizen's advice centre where to point you regarding employment law to what your employer can or can't do to you. So, knowing something about employment law is a feather in your cap and so don't get rail roaded.

[TUG]

[Kwaks]

Have you considered talking to your mentor?

After all that is part of his role.

Explain to him how the commute is taking a lot out of you, how keen you are to learn from him, but how you feel you are not 100% back to full fitness from your accident.

Explain how the mind is willing, yet the body is not, I am sure he will do all he can to help you through it.

Does no-one at work live near you or pass your route in the way in? Ask around and offer to split the commute costs
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[TUG]

Only the parts man/service manager and i dont want anything connected with them so i have to "owe" them something, as for my mentor, we do talk about stuff, a bit actually, well since i got back we havent really had time to talk, as the workshop is getting pummelled with jobs currently, but he knows i suffer from depression, since before my accident.

I cycle becos i need to get fit but its a double edged sword, its making me better but at the same time it destroys me for the day, in time it will benefit me but for now i just have to work through the pain barrier like i have done for the past 10 months. I do however understand where you are coming from, it would be best for me to get a lift or maybe transfer to the shop down the road from me for a while, again, its something i should think about.

I went through alot of agony with my broken hip, rib and all the nerve damge in my arm was excrutiatingly painful, my comute to work is no where near as punnishing as that pain was, i just have the mind set to never stop, its just the way i was brought up by my parents to never quit and to never stand down.
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[Scotsman37]

I remember my friend when he had an extremely bad motorcycle crash and the car had to be lifted off him as he was pinned down by it, when he was 20 years old - fractured the following; left & right side of his hips, a number of ribs, both legs, skull and I think an arm.

He was advised by the consultant that he may never walk again, but 6 months later on he proved them all wrong by walking out of the hospital. He did play a lot of amatuer rugby when he was in high school for years which helped him survive the impact being used to sudden impacts on the field.

He contributes his faster than normal recovery to drinking a pint of fresh orange juice(unconcentrated) every day due to the vitamin C and the general goodness of it being unconcentrated, but also a pint of milk for the calcium. The one thing that came true was the consultant's warning that he would start to suffer mild/severe arthritis by the time he reaches 40 - which is now true as colder the climate gets the worse arthritis feels!

It did take him a number of years before plucking up the courage to go riding another bike again, but since then he is back to his usual 100+ mph riding nearly everyday on his Honda X11.

Is your Doctor refering you to a pain management specialist on a regular basis along with regular physio therapy to try and control pain and in so doing allowing you to go through stretching / strengthening training?

[TUG]

No pain management, but i'm attending physio, i have a nice glass of milk every mornin as my stomach doesnt want to eat in the mornings.

Physio is for my arm to get strength in my muscles surrounding the deltoid which i'm waiting for nerve signals to reach. I do a fair amount of stretching at home and the bike rides strengthen my arms and legs.
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[Kwaks]

Why not get the lift to work then cucle after work? At least that way you will not be too tired for work and still get your exercise?
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[Tonka]

[TUG]

Well i know what you mean but my body is already getting used to it, i even had time to practice wheelies on my push bike on the way home, i feel great when am on my push bike.

As for lift there and then ride bike back, i'd have to ride there one day an lift back, but it means waiting around for the parts man to get himself sorted and i dont want to wait etc, i just dont like the idea.

Im too stuburn i know and i know your all thinking "well hes complaining hes tired but wont take our advice" while you shake your heads at me, but its working, my legs are getting stronger already, my stamina is increasing, i can pedal more in succesion, i was really tired towards the end of my day but i was making less mistakes, i made mistakes cos i've not touched bikes in 10 months an am still learning.

I've got wednesday off, so i'm going to see my doctor about seeing a psychiatrist but i'm still uncertain about meds of yet.
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[nowhere.elysium]

I don't know if you caught the thread or not, but I posted up about my own experience of Manic Depression. Meds didn't work out so well for me: the idea of them is to remove most emotional input, to try and gain yourself some mental breathing space. In my case, I had a lot of problems with weird physical side effects, and the complete inability to feel anything much is actually a hallmark of severe depression with me, so the drugs weren't doing anything that I wasn't already doing myself, you know?

I think that you probably need to pull your mentor aside, and tell him, regardless of the workload. He may not be pleased that you're disrupting his workflow, but being thrown in at the deep end workwise, and with people fucking you about on top of that isn't going to do you any favours.

Since you're a young guy, you're going to get crapped on a lot at work: it's just a fact - people don't respect the young, because they think that they lack knowledge. We both know that's bollocks, but no-one likes being told they're talking shit by someone that's half their age, right?

As I say, talk to your mentor. See if it's possible to organise some staggered shifts, or slightly reduced hours, so you can get back up to speed at your own pace. Also ask if it's possible to sort out some lockable storage that's out of the way. You're not likely to get all your stuff back, but people usually can't be arsed to pick a lock, if they can just take the same item off a shelf elsewhere.

I'm in a similar position at work: my office has just been halved, and I've now got to share it with someone that I trust about as far as I could comfortably spit him. He's nicked my stuff before, and he even signed for and subsequently held on to a personal credit card in my name for three weeks prior to now.

You will get through this, and life will continue for you. It just takes time. The level of bloody-minded determination that you seem to have will help you a great deal. The important thing is to not roll over for them. They have a duty of care, even if they won't admit it.

I tend to find it helps me to remember that the real cunts at work aren't likely to be much better in their home life. As such, they're usually the ones that are going to die old, lonely and unloved. Cold, I know, but oddly reassuring.

Don't worry about being called EmoWolf: people only really take the piss on a personal level if they give a damn. You may be an EmoWolf, but you're BCF's EmoWolf, and we'd be hard pressed to find a replacement.

God, that last paragraph sounds really gay, doesn't it? Not quite my intention...
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project