Oil-based avian waste disposal conumdrum

[Mudskipper]

I have a problem.

Over the weekend, my landlord finally cleared the huge skipful of junk from my back garden.

Overjoyed, I moved my bike to a better position, and started tidying up little bits in preparation for them laying paving slabs.

However, I discovered one little piece of junk that hasn't been slung yet.

A cracked old mop bucket, which in the past has been used to drain oil into (which was then drained into old bottles). The dregs in the bottom from this have since filled with rainwater, giving a bucketful of sludgy water with a layer of black oil on top.

And two dead sparrows floating in it.

So, to recap, I need to properly dispose of a large, cheap, flimsy, cracked bucket filled to the brim with 85% stagnant rainwater, 5% used engine oil and 10% dead garden bird.

Any ideas?
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CBR125|||GSXR400|||CBR400|||CBR400|||CB250RS|||GSXR750|||CB250RS
"You're clumsy, you eat too much and you behave like a 12 year old boy. But you know what? Every once in a while, you find a thumb."

[stinkwheel]

Several tips. All probably illegal.

1) Dig hole, empty bucket in, refill hole.

2) Double bag, put in wheelie bin.

3) Double bag, put in someone elses wheelie bin.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[Mudskipper]

[pa_broon74]

Sounds like the basis for a nice soup to me...

Oxo cube, boil it up.

Its yummy in yer tummy...


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Didn't catch anything.

[MarJay]

Buy cheap mop bucket from pound shop. Put said cracked bucket inside new bucket.

Take whole shebang to tip and pour into the old oil container, else you'll have people thinking they've struck oil in your back garden.
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British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F; Cheap project: CBR900RR FireBlade
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.

[nowhere.elysium]

OR
4) proceed to pour all over the car of said landord, who obviously wasn't decent enough to dispose of said bucket o' filth.

Just a thought
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[c_dug]

5) Ebay

c_dug
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[warped one]

Fire?

Cheers

Warped
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

[colin1]

Dont put the oil in your garden, as used engine oil has toxins in it that stay in the soil for ages.

You dont want some poor sod growing veg in there one day that gets contaminated.

At least in a bin bag, its going to the tip, and no one is likely to grow stuff in soil from the tip.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[hellkat]

Another vote for number 3, said wheelie bin belonging to either:

(1) the most irritating chav family in the street;
(2) the Lithuanian family with the most drunken "uncles" smelling of vodka;
(3) the Romanian family with the most moustachioed matriarch;
(4) the noisiest Nigerian family.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Skudd]

Dildo lube.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[benjami]

Launch it over the fence, problem sorted.

Thats what we do with anything our cats drag in.

[pa_broon74]

Since no one seems keen on the idea of my soup...

Bottle it and sell it to John Lewis as an age regeneration lotion complete with feather-smooth technology and added ummm, sparrow's fart.

While the rain water rehydrates tired skin the 5% oil intensively moisturises dry spots. Essence of feather-smooth fills and stretches crows feet (haw haw) and reduces wrinkles by a factor of, eh, say... 10? (The sparrow's fart does the sum total of fuck all, but I'd leave that out of the sales shpeel.)

Because you're werth eet!

All your grey mum!! (Simpering wench!)

Maybe its maybelline... (More likely they just made it all up.)

Also because its quite cheep to buy. (Cheep! did you get that? Cheep! ha ha...)

I can't for the life of me think how to work 'beak' in here any where...

Bugger!!


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Didn't catch anything.

[MarJay]

[hellkat]

[hellkat]

[Mudskipper]

[hellkat]

See ... she's a forensic scientist, not an Olympic shotputter.

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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Mudskipper]

Some excellent suggestions here.

I'm currently considering a method based on the gravy fat-seperator jug principle:

https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41U9OuA%2B8ZL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

in that if I can stab a hole in the side of the bucket right near the bottom, allowing the bulk of the water to drain away safely. Then as the oil line approaches, plug the hole and double bin bag the now much lighter bucket with just oil and sparrow in.

I think this needs a paint diagram:

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v246/super_jo/disposal.jpg

Whaddya reckon, will it work?
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CBR125|||GSXR400|||CBR400|||CBR400|||CB250RS|||GSXR750|||CB250RS
"You're clumsy, you eat too much and you behave like a 12 year old boy. But you know what? Every once in a while, you find a thumb."

[hellkat]

Not a bad principle to be working on.
EDIT: (and excellent "paint" work, if I may say so, Madam)


But how about just chucking a whole bunch of newspaper and/or very absorbent kitchen roll (the sort with the beardy ladies in the ads) in the bucket, to soak up the assorted general liquid waste, and then tipping the whole lot into a binbag.


Now my google-ads at the bottom of this page say "Hazardous waste landfill"
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[SlimRick]

Pour it all into a metal bucket, sit it on top of a small fire in the garden. The rainwater will evaporate and you'll be left with two delicious deep fried sparrows for your effort. It's a winner!

[Kwaks]

If you go to the effort of draining the water from the sparrow/oil, surely a controlled cremation would be easier at that point?

Some additional accelerants may be required to get it going, however placing the bucket of drained "water" on a tripod above the burning bucket has the additional benefit of it evaporating leading to additional savings in the bin space theory.

Added benefit is if the buckets are plastic/rubber this will also solve the immediate problem although with different results.

To further enhance the economy and pleasure from this method I suggest stuffing some bananas with crumbly Flakes, wrapping in tinfoil and introducing to the heat for about 5 mins, eat the resultant cooked banana/melted chocolate direct from the skins



Word of warning though, use a fork or you will burn your fingers
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[hellkat]

[hellkat]

This is all getting very technical, chaps, this cookery stuff. Can we not just get Jamie Oliver, wrap HIM in some tinfoil and burn him instead of the poor feckless little sparrows that got inadvertently involved in this.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Kwaks]

I was cremating the sparrows, not cooking them

How do you think Mr Oliver would taste?

At least with his copious amounts of fat the meat would be succulent...
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!