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pa_broon74
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PostPosted: 14:37 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Most annoying film... Reply with quote

Awards for the most formulaic American film.

Criteria for nominations are as follows:

1) Is the planet or a good portion of it saved by a 'mercan actor?

2) How often is the stars & stripes in shot?

3) Does the film start with three disparate people, a man, a woman and a child? Does it then end with them as a family unit?

4) Is there symbology or a metaphor for marriage?

5) Is the baddy played by an British person? (German accent optional.)

6) Does someone pray to god at some point then do something selfless that costs them their life.

and

7) Does the film end with a windswept family unit (the male's head highest then the female then the child protectively held between the two) and the stars and stripes fluttering in the background.

Feel free to add criteria.

I've just watched Volcano, Tommy Lee Jones is my hero. He managed to deflect and manipulate one of the biggest forces of nature and look fucking brilliant in the process.

US flags, family units and the whole racialist thing... Blacks and whites covered in ash and a wee white boy saying "They're all the same..." Oh stop, I'm filling up here...

Pah!! I nearly fucking puked!!

Nominations please.

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SlimRick
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PostPosted: 14:42 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Team America Thumbs Up
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Dr. DaveJPS
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PostPosted: 14:46 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

independence day

Edit: apologies but you've reminded me of this article https://www.empireonline.com/features/pro-american-moments-in-movie-history/ which probly answers your question Confused
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cammy mack
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PostPosted: 17:14 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

sky captain and the world of tomorrow.
without a doubt THE worst film ive had the displeasure to sit through
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 17:47 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Marine

bought it for £3 from asda when i got bored... i want my £3 back.
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pa_broon74
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PostPosted: 21:09 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

ProvectusIncurro wrote:
The Marine

bought it for £3 from asda when i got bored... i want my £3 back.


Heh! That is a shit film, John Cena makes Steven Seagull look positively animated.

Armageddon should be up there too.

The trouble with American films is half the population of the USA thinks they are actually documentary's... Even Independence Day... Shocked

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Dischord
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PostPosted: 21:37 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

PS I LOVE YOU

Doesn't meet the criteria but it's a pile of shit. 3 months after the death of her beloved husband she's in Ireland slutting it up and shagging his best friend. I just didn't get that movie at all.
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Stelmer
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PostPosted: 22:01 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Plan 9 From Outer Space directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr from 1959.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plan_9_from_Outer_Space

For those who are thinking ''Plan what from where'', you can watch it all in 9 parts on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=1B8FF68FDCFE08D0&search_query=plan+9+from+outer+space
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 22:05 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deep Impact an Armageddon. Sorry but Americans think they are the only country that exists and even Jesus lives there. Stupid cheesy repetitive story lines! Cheesy shite! I hate how they always meet up a man and a women in combat an the girl always has to kick ass, she has no muscles at all just a stick but she can kick ass! and they both fall in love by the end after he has saved her life while the planet is in danger.
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 22:20 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tenacious D: The Pick Of Destiny. Not a flag waiver, but the worst film ever made. Plan 9 is so bad its good. Tenacious D was just plain bad. It promised so much and yet delivered so little.
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 07:48 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Happening.

God awful shite, made far worse by the fact that there are actually people out there who thought it was a good watch, and was a good "Twist" at the end!! I've argued for hours that they couldn't have been watching the same film but after further research it appears we were.

CUNTS!

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UnknownStuntm...
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PostPosted: 11:59 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

SlimRick wrote:
Team America Thumbs Up

F*CK YEAH! Thumbs Up
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 14:29 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

pa_broon74 wrote:

The trouble with American films is half the population of the USA thinks they are actually documentary's... Even Independence Day... Shocked

Thumbs Up


May i also draw your attention to the american stupidity regarding the release of the radio broadcast of War of the Worlds in 1938, and again in 1968

Gullible Yanks!
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map
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PostPosted: 14:39 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nomination for Pearl Harbor. Despite the action sequences this is a chick-flick.

A special mention must also go to U-571 for the Amercans blatantly rewriting of history in their favour.

Not that they are alone in this, another war film, A Bridge Too Far, springs to mind. Mel Gibson is another one to trash history and the British in his movies too, Braveheart and The Patriot as examples.
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Clanger
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PostPosted: 17:54 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh lord, I think my list of seriously dire films with totally cheesy cringeworthy endings is far too long, I'd be here all night listing them...as it is, some of them have already been mentioned, and the thread has only just started!!!
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 21:09 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Has anyone here seen 'Blown Away'?

Tommy Lee Jones as an Irish terrorist with the worst Irish accent ever, starts off in a prison in what looks like a castle. He is wearing rags and is unshaven and has unkempt hair.

Since when did you ever see an irish terrorist not wearing a Celtic or Rangers shirt and not living in conspicuous comfort in the Maze prison? (Well maybe since the peace process).

The most ridiculous film ever.
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Vin
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PostPosted: 22:07 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are many bad films but I think Cliffhanger is in the running for the award for most shit movie ever.
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Stelmer
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PostPosted: 22:25 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jurassic Park 3 & 4...
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JonB
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PostPosted: 22:30 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

map wrote:

A special mention must also go to U-571 for the Amercans blatantly rewriting of history in their favour.

I have to agree with that. I am surprised some daft American hasn't tried re-making the dambusters with bombs that have the stars and stripes emblazened upon them.
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pa_broon74
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PostPosted: 23:06 - 18 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must admit, I like a good disaster movie but The Happening was utter tripe. Mark Wahlberg being all wishy washy, he's a hard man, he can't pull that kind of role off. If he'd punched the trees to death then yeah maybe, but all that touchy feely nonsense...

Naw...

I walked out of Turner and Hooch. Tom Hanks rolling around in his underpants wrestling with a slavery dog... Its not a fetish to which I subscribe.

(Maybe Mark Wahlberg though?? Neutral )

Wink
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killa
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PostPosted: 11:08 - 19 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I sat through Teeth and that took bad films to a new level. Bollox.
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Mr Nice Guy
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PostPosted: 11:55 - 19 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

The remake of The Fog is up there.

The Spirit from earlier this year was utter gash too!
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AngelGrinder
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PostPosted: 12:22 - 19 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another vote here for 'the happening' truly awful!

"let's have a film about running away from wind!"

Fuck off, awful, awful film!!!


Also, Hide and Seek with deniro. After halfway you've worked it out, and are just praying your predictions are wrong as it's been done about a billion times.

But no, you were right, they really have been that lazy.

Bastards!

When I used to work in blockbuster, so many people were coming in saying how great it was, I honestly felt like punching them.
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Sir Black Pig
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PostPosted: 12:38 - 19 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are lots of films that fit into this category, however, I would have said that Team America World Police wasn't one of them as it is a complete pisstake of the whole america diving in headfirst and saving the world thing...

However, what I do hate passionately enough, are these american teen "beautiful people speaking like intellectually challenged baboons - but can get away with it because they are pretty" TV series'.

Jesus! they really make me want to throw something at the Telly...... like my 19 year old daughter, who is always glued to them.


@Jon B. There was a subsequent clip (of about 2-4 seconds of a flying fortress) introduced to the film post production. This was to 'win' over the american audience as the Dam Busters don't feature the Americans winning the war.

In actual fact, the clip was of the flying fortress being bombed on the ground Shocked
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Misc
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PostPosted: 14:00 - 19 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mad Max 3.

They ruined it with the kids & it wasn't even remotely menacing when an enemy was on screen, where as the previous 2 movies had that tension whenever a bad guy was on screen.

Completely different movie.
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