Stuck on the toilet with no bog roll?

[K0rnIsAFAGGOT]

There's an app' for that.

[The Original Muzza]

https://i377.photobucket.com/albums/oo216/03redTuscani/lol_wut.jpg

Did you wipe your arse with an iPhone?
____________________
Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

[Scouse]

Is there an app for making a post about your new motorbicycle with pictures?

[K0rnIsAFAGGOT]

[Flip]

https://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y37/flip_/pancake_bunny.jpg

[Scouse]

https://rlv.zcache.com/i_love_cheese_tshirt-p235852482745842139q6vb_400.jpg

[Flip]

I love lamp.

[Scouse]

https://beadesaurus.co.uk/store/images/lf%20burger%20fries%20tee.jpg

[s44678]

If you are ever in that situation then follow this procedure:

1. Keep calm, don't panic. You'll just make things worse

2. Assess the severity of the shit: you might have got incredibly lucky and it be a clean exit which needs no wipe (if so, skip to the last step) or it might be a messy one, in which case proceed to the next step.

4. Remove left shoe, remove left sock, wipe arse. Go back to step 2 and prepare to use right sock if needed.

5. Flush socks, or if you're feeling really mischievous then just leave them on the floor with the sole purpose of offending the next person to go in there (works best with white socks)

5. Leave sheepishly, wash hands, don't tell anyone what just happened.

[Mister James]

I was once caught in this horrendous situation, and the only paper available was £140 worth of receipts for my Royal Navy travel expenses. It was a messy one, and I was in a pub with a girl I liked. It helped that I was pissed

Most expensive shit ever - I wept bitter tears of regret in the morning.
____________________
>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[WildGoose]

That apple/pear affair with a california raisins mouth vibe is likely to give me severe nightmares. Very disturbing.


____________________
So in other words, he stopped you for being flagrantly in posession of a motorcycle in direct contravention of the Hippies, Darkies and People Whose Face I Don't Like The Look of (Police Powers) Act. 1976

[Ariel Badger]

[Mister James]

I scooped with the cardboard tickets, then polished with the receipts.
____________________
>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[Ariel Badger]

The difference between the Army and the Navy..... If you were in the Army you would have still presented the receipts.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[s44678]

[Noxious89123]

So THAT'S what that weirdo is always doing in the cubicle next to me! Was wondering what all the splashing was about.
____________________
'06 Honda CBR125RW-6 ~ '00 Honda CBR600F-Y ~ '07 Honda CBR600RR-7 ~ Bikeless
'53 Ford Ka 1.3 ~ '03 Vauxhall Astra SRi 1.8 ~ '52 Vauxhall Astra SRi 2.2 ~ '53 Vauxhall Astra GSi

[Flip]

[Luke_Retrofly]

Just do the "shuffle of shame", dont pull your undies all the way up, shuffle ot the next bog, ok you have made a buttefly paining on your arse cheecks but the new bounty of bog roll found in the next cubical will be mode than adquate to sort that out

[Visitor Q]

[ncrn]

After suffering this problem once when I was young, I always check and double check that there is adequate loo roll before I start.
____________________
Past: 55 Sym Jet, 91 ZZR250, 03 NSR125R. Present: 97 ER-5.
https://www.nsr125.co.uk - NSR Owners forum.

[quacker_boy]

Houses in Dubai all have a fairly high pressure (shower pressure-ish) hoses with a head on the end and a button to get the water going, aim, brace, fire. Sort of like a mini colonic irrigation. Only problem is you're left with a clean but dripping arsehole afterwards so if there's no bog roll you have to drip dry.
____________________
wizzzard wrote: Imagine God just stopping by, tidying your front room up and then quietly letting himself out again. Statisticly more likely to happen than Korn being on here.

[ttr]

I once used an English Lit coursework draft.

In before 'all it was good for'.
____________________
GS125-> NT400->VFR400->CRM250->Z750 + GS125->NTV650 rat + VMX1200->GSF600 + GPz550