Stupid things your pet does or has done!

[Villers]

We all love our dogs/cats/lizards etc but they all do stupid things at times.

Just yesterday my Shetland Sheepdog ran square into a closed patio door, left a nose smudge and everything.

My current favourite though happened this weekend. On Sunday my mrs' dog 'Buttons' (choccy lab) was sick everywhere and we had no idea why. Turned out the previous day he had sneaked into her Aunties living room and ate her daughters wedding cake I dont know if its so funny because its shocking or the thought of him hitting the jackpot and trying to control his excitement while peeling back the clingfilm and tasting the marzipan goodness
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RS125 > CBR6 > SV650S > ZX636R > GSX1300RZ Hayabusa > 06 RSVR Mille > SV1000S > Street Triple 765 RS

[The Tot]

My lil kid runt, Plenky ate a wolly caterpillar. It was crying for ages! poor kid.

Dogs do the silliest things. It also fell into the open run-off rainfall drain at my parent's house. What's weird is how his siblings can all manage to climb up the ramp which we made for it, whereas he's trying to climb his way out of a 6" gugger.

Oh, and they like gnawing on brake lines. My dad had to replace the hoses on his step-thru scooter 2-3 times because they've been bitten through!
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The Tot 2019 Z1000SX - 2007 R1
Never argue with autism

[Dragonfly]

Missy chewed the extension lead with the tv and vid plugged into it, .all the lights went out in the house and we couldn't figure out why till we pass the living room and seen blue sparks and smoke and a dog thats face said it all. She was fine.
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Pickledswede]

Haha, my dog has never done anything that stupid (I think), but she regularly does lots of little stupid things, like standing under the table hoping to get some food, then sitting down and bashing her head on it.

Today I woke up to a funny noise and realised she'd stuck her head through a hole in the fence and was stuck She then proceeded to barge through into next door's garden....

[mistergixer]

I left my Stafford (Georgie) alone in the back garden for about 10 minutes earlier as i was doing some stuff on the driveway. When i left him he'd been happily playing with a toy.
I thought he'd been ominously quiet, then i heard (what i thought) was him going through the box of plastic bottles for recycling, which is a favourite naughtiness of his.
I stuck my head around the gate into the back garden to discover that he was starting to go through the plastics. However, in his 10 minutes of ominous silence, he had been busily engaged in tearing into a bag of compost and spreading it all around the patio.



He can't be left out in the garden when there is washing on the line, as we discovered that he drags it off the line and chews it to death. I put up one of those rotary washing spinners at the bottom of the garden a while ago. I cemented it in place with a cubic foot of concrete. MrsGixer left him out in the garden one day when she had washing on the rotary drier thingy - he managed to jump up, grab the washing and uproot the drier, despite the cubic foot of concrete holding it in place!!



I was round a mate's house a while ago, he has a Cocker Spaniel. We were having quite a hefty reefer session, and had ordered in some pizzas (mmmmmm, pizza). Like me, he loves spicy food, so the pizzas were loaded with chilli goodness. We'd left the pizzas on one of the worktops whilst we finished our smokes in the back garden.
When we came back in, we discovered his dog alternating between running in circles, whimpering and draining his water bowl. Neither of us could work out why - until we discovered he'd jumped up onto the worktop, opened one of the pizza boxes, eaten an entire (chilli loaded) large pizza and then closed the box after him! His dog had the squitters for 3 days after that.


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Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[Flip]

Chewed through a PSP charger lead. Bang, smoke, stunned looking dog.

Quite often runs in to walls chasing balls too fast.

Tried herding a Vauxhall Frontera and nearly died.

Currently barking through the window at kids on little scooter things.

Wished she'd stop ragging holes in my socks and undies.

I'm sure there's more but I can't think right now.

[amnesia]

One of our cats jumped onto the big brown recycling bin. Except the lid was open and the bin was half empty.

Cue a stunned cat trying to climb out fo the bin.
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25/7 I'm a God-damn Rock Star
"Arguing about the best 125 is like arguing which Spice Girl could sing best"

[Dragonfly]

My dog also broke my ps2 , cloths lined herself while running to the window pulling the whole lot out of the unit broken forever

Bruce ate my hoover lead and the lead of an oil radiator. he is always attacked a certain rose I have potted outside and I am surprised it still lives ! him and the rose!
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Fisty]

I will just leave this here.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Poseidon]

There's a quote from my favourite book about my breed of dog... "The Wire Fox Terrier is born with ten times the original sin of all other dogs"
And not a truer word has ever been spoken!

He will eat anything that is left lying around... Once I left a bin bag full of rubbish in the kitchen unattended for an hour. I came back to find a very ill looking dog... he had consumed; all the meat off a roast chicken carcass, the remainder of a duck&mushrooms chinese takeaway, half a punnet of over ripe cherry tomatoes and the contents of two teabags

He persistently finds the rottenest form of wildlife shit to roll in, usually within a few hours of having had a bath

He has eaten the contents of no fewer than 3 cuddly "dog proof" toys, not to mention half the contents of a draught excluder (said contents are usually found hours later in vast bile-like pools)

He has no fear of heights... he will quite happily leap out of my arms and land with a crash, which seems not to break his train of thought as he carries on as if nothing has happened. (bearing in mind he is a small terrier and I'm 6'3!)

He always chooses to chew his rawhide chew on either your shoes (leaving a loverly spunky mess on them) or else he chews it on your foot, frequently mistaking your toes for his chew!

He gets very over excited when I come home from work, and if he's in the garden, he charges round as fast as his little legs will carry him, making huge sweeping turns... Only he usually misjudges the turn and runs full speed into a wall!

He hates pigeons

He usually comes up to see us in the morning (he sleeps in the kitchen), but instead of waiting to be invited up on the bed, he runs underneath the bed, scratching his back on the beams under there, giving the sleeping occupants of the bed the impression of an earthquake

He belches uncontrollably... sometimes after a long drink, or after eating his dinner too quickly, he walks funny until someone "burps" him!

He makes loud "arrrrrrrrrrgh" noises when he yawns

He will happily see off any thunderstorm/lowflying aircraft/loud vehicle that goes past the house... but when dodgy looking chavs knock on the door at half 9 at night... he barely bats an eyelid!

He chews things, but in the most annoying way possible... Every single plastic storage box has one corner (only one corner!) chewed... and he chewed the plastic clasps on my socket set... not the corner... the effing clasp that keeps the whole lot shut!!!

The list is endless... there's plenty more... I just can't be arsed typing any more.

Oh, and my fish all group together and stare at you in a freaky "omen" sort of way!
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1977 Honda CG125
2002 Ducati Monster S4 (currently restoring)

[Handsome]

Years ago we had a Cocker Spaniel, he had a habit of marking everything if left alone in the house for more than a few hours, tried everything to get him out of it, anyway, came back home the one day from shopping, let him out the back and continued to put the shopping away...

Ten minutes later I turned the plug on that the tv and sky box/video player-recorder, left the room to make a drink and came back in just as he was about to piss on the Sky box, due to the flap on the video part being broken and missing he managed to piss straight into it, cue BANG-WHIMPER and me absolutely laughing my arse off, turned around to see the dog sitting there still whimpering whilst alternating between looking at me then at his cock ...

Funnily enough he never pissed in the house again...
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Previous Bikes...Honda NSR 125 RR...Kawasaki Zephyr 550...Suzuki SV 1000 S...Yamaha FZ8...Current Bike...Suzuki GSX-R 750...

[Tonka]

.........where to start?

Currently the Grottie is leaping about the living room after a moth with the kittens looking on in sheer amazment. He successfully caught and noshed a fly earlier. Whilst this was amusing once upon a time when he was tiny, it's now very irritating and potentially expensive

My old dog has always been such a genteel and sophisticated dog (ok, read boring) but the youngster is an absolute hoodlum
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'The core of a man's spirit comes from new experiences'
Suzuki SV650S (Clean); Yamaha XT250 Serow (Dirty)

[Visitor Q]

This is just a massive 'dogs are retarded, look at what they break/eat' thread isn't it.

I've never owned a dog, therefore have nothing to add.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Kickstart]

Hi

Fluff our old ginger long haired cat (no longer alive) used to regularly stick his tail in the gas fire. One morning managed it and then walked about a foot from it and was looking at the flames coming from his tail. Pretty unconcerned, sort of "oh look, my tails on fire".

He also used to jump on a neighbours wheelie bin to get into their kitchen roof (terace houses). He got a shock when it was open.

He also went into their house one day and went into the cupboard under the stairs and the door landed up getting shut. Bit later they heard a wimpering so went opening things until they did cupboard under the stairs at which point he came out at full pelt. Straight into the double glazed back door. Bouncing off that he realised he couldn't get through the bottom pane so tried the top pane. Repeatedly until they managed to open the door.

Kojak, the nervous one, can't catch anything. Only things he has managed to catch are frogs / toads. Even he has learnt that isn't a good idea.

Dinky, the young nutty one manages a full 4 paw drift when running through the kitchen.

All the best

Keith
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Traxpics, track day and racing photographs - Bimota Forum - Bike performance / thrust graphs for choosing gearing

[Dalemac]

Used to have a dog called Toby, which had a particular hate for lorries. On the usual evening walk, my stepdad let him off his lead, like he normally would. a few minutes later a lorry reversed into the close, cue the dog running all the way down the green and started attacking the back wheels. unfortunately the lorry driver hadnt seen toby and subsequently reversed right over him

Pretty much the pinnacle if stupidity.
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YBR125 -> GPZ500S -> SL1000

[mistergixer]

[Tonka]

[growler]

This morning my 14 year old grey cat called Smokey leapt the 2 foot gap between my outside bar and the kitchen window intending to land on the window sill common enough feat as she does this most mornings but made a right mess of it this morning and ended up bouncing off the window having hit it full on in mid air face first

cue me having hysterics until she didn't reappear!

found her standing very wobbily looking very dazed staring at the wall but typical cat as soon as she saw me she straighted up and walked calmly into the house is if to say " did what! You must be mistaken I would never do such a thing"
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DILLIGAF

[Visitor Q]

I do remember our old cat once doing something similar.

Did a full on flying leap to catch a dragonfly... and landed in the pond.

It was the panicced scramble to get out of it, and then slowly sauntering past while subtly trying to dry his paws.

Bless him.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Kickstart]

Hi

The nutty young cat used to have a habit of tearing up the stairs full pelt into the bathroom, leaping into the bath and running round it. She did it one day when the bath was running and hasn't done so since, and is now very wary of the bath.

All the best

Keith
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Traxpics, track day and racing photographs - Bimota Forum - Bike performance / thrust graphs for choosing gearing

[growler]

when we moved to our new house the hall, stairs and landing had textured wall paper and the cat used to take a mad un and race round the bedrooms then fly across the landing and straight up the wall!

this obviously destroyed the wallpaper so one weekend we stripped it all off and painted the walls with some fancy crap paint the wife liked

the cat didn't notice as what her humans do is beneath her to notice and a couple of days later did her little mad un
the look of surprise on her face was such when she attempted to race up the wall and skidded off and went sailing down the stairs

you know people say cats always land on their feet well it's not true on this occasion she was lucky enough to land on the dog or she would have landed upside down with all 4 paws pointing sky ward
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DILLIGAF

[Charlie]

Out shooting with my Dad and the others from the old syndicate, and we where doing some walked up shooting around the boundaries. Our boundary is the river flowing around the bottom of the fields, anyway we where done there looking for some ducks, a couple get off, pop pop, get one of them but it drops on the other side of the river in a field. So we send Pip (our springer spaniel) over and she tries to clear this stream. This stream is probably about 3.5m wide, she goes for the jump, expecting to land in the grass bank on the other side, but instead crashes into the stream and comes up looking surprised. Was very funny at the time.

Another time at the same shoot, Molly (another springer spaniel, although not our dog) is quite a fussy eater for a dog (which is odd). Someone has brought some strong stilton cheese in from work (lorry driver for Booths supermarket) and people were eating this. One guy drops some on the floor and Molly goes for it. Molly chops on it and then her face just sort of drops, she start chewing it slowly pulling a face as if to say this is disgusting. Foams start dribbling out the side of her mouth yet she slowly keeps chopping on it, determined to eat it.

Also watching the dog run across the laminate floor in the kitchen is funny, especially when a ball she has been chasing is strategically placed at the other end of the room against the wall.
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Past: Honda x8rs, Honda City fly, Honda Hornet 250, Honda VFR750, Yamaha xt600e.
Current: Honda CBR929RR & Yamaha XT660Z Tenere

[Mudskipper]

Used to have two stupid cats.

One was particularly fickle and would often run off as if timid, when he was in fact being a fickle arse. He especially liked to leap up onto the wardrobe and stare down stroppily at you.

One day, I was obviously being too affectionate, patient and calm with him ( ) so he legged it across the bed and made his leap, only to find he'd miscalculated his trajectory.

Cue one small black moggy splatting against the wardrobe door, legs spreadeagled in a Tom out of Tom & Jerry fashion. Of course he did the obligatory embarrased quick look around and sauntering off with nose in the air that Growler mentioned.

Another time, they were both in the bedroom, the window was open and some hapless sparrow flew in.

It was like a scene from the Matrix (but for cats), leaping feline bodies darting around the ceiling in slow mo, defying the laws of physics. The spuggy was doing a pretty good job losing his predators while I dashed to and fro screaming like a girl and pissing myself laughing at the same time.

Eventually managed to fling them out the door using their own momentum, but it took me a minute or two to compose myself and let the bird out.
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CBR125|||GSXR400|||CBR400|||CBR400|||CB250RS|||GSXR750|||CB250RS
"You're clumsy, you eat too much and you behave like a 12 year old boy. But you know what? Every once in a while, you find a thumb."

[quacker_boy]

I like dogs despite not having one myself. My local pub in my village has changed hands now and the new owner's have a Great Dane, I'd never seen one in real life and it was an impressive sight, it was bloody huge! So there I am, sat on the barstool, chatting to this VERY cute girl who works there now, scratching the dog behind his ears etc and without any kind of warning, stands on his hind legs and front paws on my shoulders and pushes me flat onto my back as the bar stool slipped out underneath me. Everyone found it hilarious
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wizzzard wrote: Imagine God just stopping by, tidying your front room up and then quietly letting himself out again. Statisticly more likely to happen than Korn being on here.

[Visitor Q]