Cleaning your bum.

[Ariel Badger]

One of the great unifying things in life is taking a poo, most of us do it (if you have a colostomy, please stop reading) but the act of deification can leave our bottoms in a rather messy state.
How do you cope with having poo messing up your bum?
I use some tissue off a roll, it is the dirt cheap stuff from ASDA and costs about a quid for a dozen rolls.
My boss, who lives with three women, uses the stuff that is advertised by labrador puppies as the girls insist it is better but it costs an arm and a leg.
How do you keep your starfish fresh?
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[ms51ves3]

3 sheets and I get 2 wipes from that No idea what it is, my mum buys it.

[Rob]

Bidet!

you don't wanna be messing about with all that paper - blast it with a water jet!
(Just not too hard as you may pebbledash the wall behind!)

Cooling after a hot chilli too!
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Love is 1050cc

[Wave2k]

if you have the ring of fire after some hot food or perhaps a heavy night the night before, your ass is probably a little sore, specially with cheapo paper.

baby wipes are a godsend when you got the runs, unscented ones of course.
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Ducati 1299 Panigale
2009 Corvette C6 z51
RS125->CBR400->RXS100->GSXR750K2->Ducati749S->CBR600RR5->TL1000R->DRz400->RSVR1000->Honda VTR SP1->CBR400->GSXR1000K6->Honda H100->CBR600RR3->Ducati1299

[benjami]

I'm reading this whilst actually sat on the toilet.

I'm thinking the toilet roll on my left, which is looking a bit low.

If I run out, might have to use the cat who is sat on the floor.

[Rob]

[benjami]

[phantomtek]

[Ariel Badger]

[Ariel Badger]

[phantomtek]

[Flip]

Ariel wasn't you that started this thread last time? Or was it Stinkwheel?

[quacker_boy]

I just bought some Sainsbury's budget crap for like 97p for 12 rolls. One of the said rolls has just been used to stem the bleeding from my foot after I just slashed it on a piece of glass outside. You wouldn't want to do that with an Andrex roll, waste of some fine toilet paper.
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wizzzard wrote: Imagine God just stopping by, tidying your front room up and then quietly letting himself out again. Statisticly more likely to happen than Korn being on here.

[supZ]

[yen_powell]

This was mentioned in Red Dwarf something about Rimmer only using one piece of toilet paper three times. One wipe up, one down and a final polish (something like that anyway).
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Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[The Shaggy D.A.]

1 sheet? 3 sheets? The skidmarks must be prolific on BCF.

Anyhoo, the wife buys the stuff with the puppies on, or with the bears. I find the one with the bears resists a finger going through much better than the puppies.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Whosthedaddy]

[JonB]

Since eating much better I don't need to wipe really. Always seem to slip out without a trace.

...I feel much more comfortable wearing white boxers now.
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[Carl_steveo]

A toilet brush wrapped in dock leaves.
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Current: Honda Nsr 125
Live: Sunderland
Luke "cant be arsed to read your post, but suck my balls anyway."

[yuri2085]

[the grim reaper]

[Red Mick]

Charmin (the one with the bears that shit in the woods)

I use two sheets folded once, then repeat and repeat until polished.

Bidet question from a lower class oik, when encountering a bidet , no paper is available, which is fair enough, but how do you wash? Water spray alone isn't enough to deep clean and how do you dry yourself off?

[D O G]

[Rob]

[JAMSXR]

I remember the stuff we used to have at school, it was like wiping your bum with tracing paper!!
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