BCF Mock the Week - Round 2

Fawbish · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Karma :

The premise - If you've ever seen Mock the Week, then you will know that we can't do the first two rounds particularly well. I'm suggesting the last round, and replies to each. Can give as many suggestions as you'd like, but make 'em decent you bastards.

So, the next situation in Scenes we'd like to see is...

Unlikely things you'd hear on Blue Peter

Eeek?
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"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

"I'm going to make something now".
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

nick606 · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 Nov 2006 Karma :

right kids so after you have taken her up the shitter remember to pull out and spaff in her mouth

Howling TerrorOutOfOffice · Super Spammer Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Karma :

'I let Peter Purves finger my bottom for a badge'

Pat
A true confession
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"Ring in with your shite suggestions for the new Blue Peter pet..."

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"I'm going to show you how to make your very own power band using a cereal box and sticky back plastic".

The Artist · Super Spammer Joined: 06 Jan 2008 Karma :

"Try this at home, just make sure you're parents are out and the cat cannot be heard by your neighbours!"

The Original Muzza · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Karma :

"Oh dear! I seem to have made a mess with the sticky backed plastic. I haven't seen anything this sticky since I got Konnie Huq drunk at the BBC presenters bash and came all over her face.

All The Best.

Tim Vincent"
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"I'm going to show you how to make your very own head gasket using a cereal box and sticky back plastic"

smegballs · World Chat Champion Joined: 28 Oct 2007 Karma :

Mix the nitric acid and glycerine together slowly, and pop it in the ice bath. After it cools, just put it into your favourite bomb belt and away you go.

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"Let's talk about inter racial porn... Run VT"

The Original Muzza · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Karma :

"Today on Blue Peter, I am going to show you how to use photoshop to make a woman's dress see-through, so you can get a peek at what those wonderful nipples look like.
Here's one me and the Huq made earlier."
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

nick606 · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 Nov 2006 Karma :

"just neatly glue down the edges and trim away any excess materials and leave to dry.......... and that is how you make a fake id"

"kids will you SHUT THE FUCK UP i've got a bitching hangover and your fucking carol singing isn't helping"

"next week we have a special treat for you kids, are guest is Garry Glitter"

"here one i bought before"

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"and then I fcuked her sister"

The Original Muzza · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Karma :

"TODДY OИ ЯED PETEЯ, WE WILL БE SHOWIИG HOW TO MДKIИG POLOИIUM 210, USIИG POLOИIUM 188 AИD YOGHUЯT POT."
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

Howling TerrorOutOfOffice · Super Spammer Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Karma :

With all the money you kindly raised we have bought a Ducati....EACH Middle Finger

Pat
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"Now we'll bring George out of hibernation"

*Takes a newspaper, photograph, CD, mobile phone out of the box*

"Oh fcuk George is in the time capsule!"

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"Today we're going to make a time machine out a tortoise and a flux capacitor and when this baby hits 88mph, you're going to see some serious shit"

The Original Muzza · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Jan 2009 Karma :

"We've got some lovely mail today:
John, 5, in Brighton says to say 'Happy Birthday' to my little sister Theresa.
Mercedes, 7, from Liverpool says 'Thank you for the Blue Peter badge'.
and Graham Utumbo, ambassador of Nigeria tells me I'm the closest living relative to his deceased client, a wealthy tycoon, and that I'm able to recieve 8million pounds if I just send £8000 via Western union.
Well that's just excellent, as the orphan fund just got past the £8,500 mark so I'll use that to get 8million pounds for the orphans."
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

B10Hazard · World Chat Champion Joined: 29 Jan 2009 Karma :

Special guest . . Jade Goody.
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Current bike .. The police stole it
No longer any socks
Let me take you on a trip . . let me show the world in my eyes.

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

"2 weeks ago whilst having sex with my GF, i couldn't help notice she didn't smell too fresh down below"

Tarmacsurfer · World Chat Champion Joined: 29 Jun 2004 Karma :

"If the wogs are too stupid to feed themselves and stop urinating in their own water then it's not our problem"

"And so, when in the back of a Nova and caught in an emergency this is how you use a Mars bar wrapper and 2cm of gaffa tape".

"Has anyone seen my chinchilla fur gloves?"

"Yes Shep. Take it like the bitch that you are."
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I'm immortal. Well, so far.

gary.glitter · Nova Slayer Joined: 29 Aug 2008 Karma :

"hi kiddies, im the new presenter! Who wants to be in my gang?" :-Me
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do you wanna be in my gang?

Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

We have dug Shep up from his grave to perform a live autopsy.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

The999Kid · World Chat Champion Joined: 11 Jan 2008 Karma :

"Now to make this crack pipe, you wil need....."

"And remember children, if the hoe doesnt turn over the cash, its very important to back hand her... like this"
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter