Facebook Status

[The Artist]

There is this girl on facebook I knew from school.

Here are a selection of statuses taken from her profile.

Jus got woke up by fukin lorence carr ringin me :@ but dnt even feyl hungova * ♥

Whoo hanley on mun myn n loz's b.day soo exited evry1 b ther! Whayy! * ♥ x

Ne1 got a dresin up awtfit i can boro 4 munday nyt?? X

* *Hahaha big boiii lorence ¢arrr has jus hijakd my facebuk =o ♥ =) && whot! **Brapp**! *¤ cnt wayt til mun whaaayy hanly guna b $ikk! * ♥ ς€v€n dayss! ♥ love you loz! ♥ * BBBRAAAPPP =P * X ♥

Aaahhh am runin a baf & tha tap jur turnd of on its own =( hellppp x *

Is in da baf =p * ♥ x

Is getin redii 2go awtt !*=) ♥

Jus gott in levvaardd! * ♥ x

* now here's sumfin i jus cnt undastand if a guy hav 3gurls & he's tha man he can even giv um sum hed or mur yle tha gurl do tha saym & she's tha hore! !! *

Jus got awt tha baf n getin redii * ♥ x

Can anyone top these?
The disrespect for the English language is despicable.

[Flip]

I don't understand why you have a facebook account.

[hellkat]

Arrgggh my eyes!
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Alabama Blacksnake]

Sorry can any one translate that.

Tom
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Bikes i've owned: mobylette ----- Ts 50er ------ GS 400e ------ CB250n superdream ------r6 ------ bandit 400 ----- 2005 kx 125
Bikes i have:dtr125 field bike that doesnt not seem to die!!! 1992 gsxr 750
trevoriv said: Leathers are like teenage girls, the tighter the better.

[ms51ves3]

[hellkat]

Ignoring those with a disdain for anybody having a Facebook account at all ...

Do you think she sits in the bath sending those messages? What a shame she doesn't drop the laptop/phone in there by mistake "[ghastlybint] is in da baf ... n just gawt friiiyyyyyyed"

I'm very happy that there is a "Hide [appname]/[username]" facility in the feed. No doubt people have used it on me LOL.

I have two like that, but they are "musthave" people and if I got rid of them it would be more hassle than it's worth.

I actually deleted my No. 1 Chaperone's daughter (who really does have a knack of inanity when it comes to statuses, but not quite as bad as the above) ...when she posted some Happy Fathers Day crapola on there, and I was smack bang in the middle of a HUGE row with him by text I might send her a friends request now that he and I, erm, patched things up (pardon pun) shortly after *leer*

There's two women on my list of "games-playing friends" who utterly do my brain in. One is a complete loony who peppers all her statii with "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

I might have to punch her in the face if I ever meet her. But she is very generous with energy and gifts in Mafia Wars

...and the other one is a fat grumpy menopausal loony with a seriously bad case of "poor me" and an obsession to post blogs, or maybe just depression, who so regularly posts poker-faced statii that I keep her there just to make myself feel better, that at least I'm not THAT fuckin miserable/lame.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[The Artist]

[hellkat]

I tried that, but it just looked wrong.

There must be too many esses in there for this time of night.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[LankyPaddy]

[nick606]

[Luke_Retrofly]

Can I add her so I can hunt her down and give her a massive kick to the fanny. I will take pic's so you can all get the satisfaction.

[hellkat]

And I hate this "x" business at the end of messages, its a particularly revolting habit that seems to have evolved from text messaging.

You don't have to kiss me when you tell me you went to the shops and bought some butter and cheese. You only need to kiss me when you greet me, leave me or want earnestly to shag me.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Carl_steveo]

[MonkeyKnuckle]

Is it supposed to be quicker typing like that? It would take me about 10 minutes to work out to type that with all the symbols and what not. It's quite a talent if you think about it.
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MKGaming.com
2000 Honda CBR600F - Sold! 2003 Honda CBR600RR - Current!

[Skudd]

Hellkat I haven't greeted you or said goodbye x
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[Skudd]

[The Original Muzza]

As a practising pedant, I find this thread genuinely upsetting.
But may I (the side of my brain that isn't pedantic) pose this thought:

The English language has evolved throughout the ages, and what we speak now would once have been thought of as garish and unintelligible, back when people called eggs "eyren" and said "thou" without talking about a litre gixxer. Most prominent to me is the QI episode where Stephen Fry said that what we call a banister, is correctly called a balister. I disagree, in that if enough people, for enough time adopt the term banister to refer to that rail emanating beside your staircase, then that is what it is.

Peace out, bredren.

Yo homey, Muzza.

(P.s, anyone pointing out my starting a sentence with "But" can just piss right off, do as I say, not as I do.)
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Current Bikes: Husqvarna Svartpilen 401 (2020)
Former Bikes: Honda MSX125 (2014), BMW Funduro (1996), Honda VT500 (1983), Yamaha FZR250 (1989), Suzuki GZ125 Marauder(2005),:Triumph TT600 (2002) (stolen)
From then on, I and the bicycle feelings deeper.

[JAMSXR]

[yambabe]

[binge]

[Catalyst]

[c_dug]

I could match the level of unreadableness but I think a picture will sum it up better.

Welcome to essex

https://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee81/paddy2007dug/rachel.jpg

My best friends next door neighbour (on the left), I will probably get my face kicked in if she sees this on here (not by her ) but its worth it for the lols

c_dug
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[The Original Muzza]

[Fortuna]

Polished with Tango.

[Fnatic]

Just because there are complete and utter tools on Facebook doesn't mean everyone is like that. Why do people say stuff like... "Why do people bother with Facebook?" because of the idiots and their stupid comments.