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tykey
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 25 May 2009
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PostPosted: 16:25 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Need some advice Reply with quote

Hi everyone i'm wondering if buying the latest fastest/coolest sports bike will get me laid?

At the moment i'm (circle as applicable):

1. 16 year spotty virgin with a few quid in my pockets/spoilt
2. Ugly 20 something with little success with women, live at home with mum/dad
3. 30/40/50 something with a fat belly and several failed relationships behind me

Instead of getting off my fat lazy ass and having a wash now and again in order to not repulse the opposite sex, im wondering if shelling out 1000's on a super dooper sportz bike will get me the chicks?

Do babes leave a snails trail at the mere site of a badly ridden gsxr1000 on it zoom past with a fat baldrick piloting it?

Or do i would i better off having a wash, a haircut, and actually care about my appearance and stop having a twat attitude get me more success with the laydeez?

I'm hoping the bike will do it as it's so much less hassle!
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tykey
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 25 May 2009
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PostPosted: 16:37 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite a few views but no replies as yet....

Maybe it's because in order to answer the question, you need to have experience of women (prostitutes dont count)?

Or that some of you are that ugly/fat/past the point of no return that a phallic symbol bike is the only option?
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angryjonny
World Chat Champion



Joined: 01 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: 16:40 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think we're all trying to work out how to break it to you that there is *no* chance of you getting laid.
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Biker101
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Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: 16:41 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Currently single with a 600rr

No comment lol
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 16:46 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Those working in IT and ride a bike tend not to get laid as much as those who are morbidly obese, smell like a chip shops sewer and are nice to lesbians. Thumbs Up
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Mystery
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Joined: 23 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: 16:50 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

dont worry about it i'm 17 and only laid one or twice every other weekend but i dont think its my looks or my sports bike Laughing
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 16:56 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

blindweezy wrote:
dont worry about it i'm 17 and only laid one or twice every other weekend but i dont think its my looks or my sports bike Laughing


Socks don't count Wink
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Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".
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Mystery
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Joined: 23 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: 17:01 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
blindweezy wrote:
dont worry about it i'm 17 and only laid one or twice every other weekend but i dont think its my looks or my sports bike Laughing


Socks don't count Wink


who said anything about socks i was talking about the back end of your bike
____________________
Carbon knuckles assure you maximum protect against debris and unfortunate accidents or if someone cuts you off, their side mirror.Mopeds are like chubby chicks.. they are really fun to ride until you're friends catch you on one
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Devils Advocate
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Joined: 18 Apr 2009
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PostPosted: 17:15 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

a shiny new sports bike will deffo get you loads of attention from chicks who like bikes but it won`t make them chase you down the street waving their knickers in the air. Smile
and if you look like quasimodo when you take your lid off....the shiny bike won`t help you one bit. Wink

Thankfully i`m blessed with stunning good looks AND i always have shiny new bikes so i`m never short of offers Twisted Evil
Shame the wifey wont let me nail them all.

Mr. Green Thumbs Down


Last edited by Devils Advocate on 17:26 - 13 Aug 2009; edited 1 time in total
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temeluchus
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PostPosted: 17:26 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

let me guess, the instigator of this thread is a skinny wimp with a rs125 and a serious inferiority complex?
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 18:01 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

blindweezy wrote:
Skudd wrote:


Socks don't count Wink


who said anything about socks i was talking about the back end of your bike


I thought there was a very small smudge on the left tail pipe.
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iooi
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 18:17 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Re: Need some advice Reply with quote

tykey wrote:
Hi everyone i'm wondering if buying the latest fastest/coolest sports bike will get me laid?
!



What you mean laid to rest in a wodden box..... Laughing
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baldy
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PostPosted: 19:11 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

The problem is that most of the lady bikers (that i have seen anyway, apart from a few smokin'' hot blondies) are 40 something, fat and unattractive. No offence to anyone.

When i bought the blade in 07, i wished the finer of the opposite sex would be queueing up for a ride on my crotch rocket Mr. Green
But in reality, there was no 40 virgins waiting for me at the exit of the next corner, harps in hand with a massive stash of rubbers. They just winged a bit more about the noise and went with the first 17 year old tosser with a 1.2 saxo with blacked out windows.

Now i don't even bother putting the pillion seat on anymore. I have lost all will to live.

(I think my balls may even be falling off.)
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pickled
Nitrous Nuisance



Joined: 14 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: 19:15 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Biker101 wrote:
Currently single with a 600rr

No comment lol

if its the one in your avatar......

nice bike Wink


(sorry couldnt resist Twisted Evil Twisted Evil )




I think the answer is..
probably better personal hygiene, having a bath, brushing up on your manners and maybe a hair cut will stand you in good stead to get laid
a decent bike wont help unless she is a complete minger in the 1st place? and I assume you are looking for a nice girl?

oh and carry some condoms just in case Wink
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ClaireBear
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Joined: 27 Jun 2009
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PostPosted: 19:41 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im personally not fussed about the actual bikes I see guys on but as long as its not what I call a 'wannabe big bike' lol and it must be kept smart and sound nice. Cant go far wrong with that lol Smile

But I have to say it probably wont help you get laid lol
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baldy
World Chat Champion



Joined: 16 Feb 2004
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PostPosted: 19:46 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a big bike and look decent. Very Happy

Are you single?






Runs for cover...
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 20:10 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Re: Need some advice Reply with quote

tykey wrote:
Hi everyone i'm wondering if buying the latest fastest/coolest sports bike will get me laid?

At the moment i'm (circle as applicable):

1. 16 year spotty virgin with a few quid in my pockets/spoilt
2. Ugly 20 something with little success with women, live at home with mum/dad
3. 30/40/50 something with a fat belly and several failed relationships behind me

Instead of getting off my fat lazy ass and having a wash now and again in order to not repulse the opposite sex, im wondering if shelling out 1000's on a super dooper sportz bike will get me the chicks?

Do babes leave a snails trail at the mere site of a badly ridden gsxr1000 on it zoom past with a fat baldrick piloting it?

Or do i would i better off having a wash, a haircut, and actually care about my appearance and stop having a twat attitude get me more success with the laydeez?

I'm hoping the bike will do it as it's so much less hassle!



I was under the impression that women went for personality rather than looks, and sense of humour rather than vehicular ownership. Well, all the ones that are worth it anyway...
____________________
British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F; Cheap project: CBR900RR FireBlade
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.
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pickled
Nitrous Nuisance



Joined: 14 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: 20:10 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

ClaireBear88 wrote:
Im personally not fussed about the actual bikes I see guys on but as long as its not what I call a 'wannabe big bike' lol and it must be kept smart and sound nice. Cant go far wrong with that lol Smile

But I have to say it probably wont help you get laid lol


Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up


I am now wondering if a decent bike will help a girl get laid? Twisted Evil

(really must stop typing in the dark Embarassed )
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ncrn
World Chat Champion



Joined: 24 May 2006
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PostPosted: 20:55 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

pickled wrote:
I am now wondering if a decent bike will help a girl get laid? :twisted


More than likely
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baldy
World Chat Champion



Joined: 16 Feb 2004
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PostPosted: 20:56 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

A leather clad girl on a screaming inline 4?

yes please.
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Skudd
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Joined: 01 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 21:05 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

A pulse, thats all, for once I would like a girl with a pulse. I don't even mind the ventilator.
____________________
Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".
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pickled
Nitrous Nuisance



Joined: 14 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: 21:15 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
A pulse, thats all, for once I would like a girl with a pulse. I don't even mind the ventilator.

I needed screenwipes after reading that Laughing Laughing

I suppose it helps if you take your hand from over their mouths? ok they shouldnt scream so loud but they need to breathe too....

Mr. Green Mr. Green

(sorry caffine tends to exacerbate my sense of humour Embarassed at least I have the light on now)
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 21:55 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

BLUEX5 wrote:
I think the OP has some cunty custom that's only fit for purpose as a ship's anchor or as hardcore in the foundations of a nice UPVC conservatory.


Everybody knows that only two strokes from the seventies and eighties get you laid...
____________________
British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F; Cheap project: CBR900RR FireBlade
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.
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baldy
World Chat Champion



Joined: 16 Feb 2004
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PostPosted: 22:14 - 13 Aug 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote

Literally.

Usually in a hedge or under a car with various broken bones.
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