Trapping a fart

[Ariel Badger]

Our first real day back in school today (Sans Kids) and big long meetings in the morning. The boss gave us all the GCSE breakdown and the Deps gave us the motivational speel. Last night I ate Chill Sans Carnie ,as a vegetarian I used a soya based mince and lots of beans.
Half way into the heads breakdown I felt a windypop brewing and thought it best to wiggle my colon and suck it back up, over the next two hours I repeated this exercise and at last we were set free for break. I thought I may need to poo so I went to the bog and let it go. I swear that I farted continually for over 15 seconds ( some chilli tainted brown stuff was ejected but it was 98% gaseous.
Just thought I would share.
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[Flip]

[Skudd]

That 2% is always the bugger though.
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[Hetzer]

[Stelmer]

Just let rip and pretend nothing happened.

I once cleared an Italian restaurant this way. I don't know why but my god it was bad.

[5v3d3b0]

Ariel, you are by far the most interesting person on this forum

[Finglonga]

[Fisty]

It's better to fart and smell a little, than keeping it in and being a cripple.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
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[nowhere.elysium]

When I grow up, I want to be a demented brummie, too.
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[Dragonfly]

I had some sweet chilli mayo on my chicken kabab the other day and got the runs next day and gassy farts all night. I am never eating chilli again.

I thought I would share to.
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[SlimRick]

And you help shape the youth of today???

[Handsome]

Went out last night and drank near enough my own weight in ale, got up this morning and let out the most horrific fart you've ever smelt, it offended even my delicate nasal passages...

Smelt of rancid beef and burning flesh, suffice to say I checked the old boxers for backdraft...

Seeing as we're all sharing...
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[Fisty]

My arse has 2 claims to fame.

I Did the most inhuman fart in the canteen at work, it was rancid i imagine its what a rotting corpse to smell like. On smelling it my workmate Andy vomited.

The second instance was 50 feet up in a cherry picker, once again I let out a stinker, giving the bloke in the picker with me an asthma attack.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Handsome]

[warped one]

Must say after a silly amount of stella and junk food last night not even the bloody cat will sit with me.

What would happen if you stored all your farts for say a week. Then let them out in a jar and sealed it. Then put it in the airing cupboard.

How long would it take to produce tear gas? That could kill a drunk irish man.
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[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

I've done something similar before. Nothing more satisfying or hilarious.
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[MattHirst]

I cleared all the nurses out of half of the ward with one, they thought it was the old coffin dodger next to me
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It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, then it's bloody hilarious!!!

[Skudd]

Thank the Lord I read this earlier. I was about to let one ease out then remembered that 2%.

Went to the loo, glad I did as that that 2% turned out to be 65%.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[mistergixer]

MrsGixer is preggers and expecting shortly, she's taking iron supplements which do not agree with her digestive system. Occasionally, she'll let one pop out, the smell can only be described as 'like a lungful from an open sewer'.
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[deepfriedmars...]

This thread is pure quality!

My Geography teacher at GCSE used to be the champion of farting. He used to have farting competitions with the lads every lesson,one lesson it got so bad that we opened all the windows in that room and then slowly every room in the whole corridor opened their windows to let the smell out I swear I can still smell it sometimes!

Kirsty
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Scottish and proud!
CBT passed-15/04/09
'06 Honda CBR125R -Currently bikeless

[Stelmer]

Lol at that.

Anyone done one in the exams?

I once did a rather loud one during prayers at church It echoed, as it does in a church

[Towton 1461]

[neil.]

After a night on the Guinness, I did one whilst in a small lift at work - thought I was safe as I was on my own in there - and as I was enjoying my Eau De Colon, it stopped a floor below the one I was wanting to go up. I started to sweat nervously and then to my horror, quite an attractive woman got in and I had to remark about the lift being 'rather smelly' that day, as if I had nothing to do with it. She agreed and had a rather disgusted look on her face. I wonder if she knew it was me but was being polite.
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CBT February 2008 | A2 June 2008 | Yamaha YBR125 (written off) | Honda CBF125 (current)

[Ol]

[the grim reaper]

I remember being in my bro-in-law's car on the A38 near Plymouth with him and my little brother. My brother lets one go which had all of us gagging, bro-in-law pulled over on the hard shoulder of the A38 and vomits into the hedge.

That would have been bad enough but then the Police pulled over to find out why we'd stopped. Bro-in-law gets breathalysed (as well as paralysed by the smell) and we're all laughing our arses off. I don't think the Police found it quite as funny.

We eventually were allowed to leave but the car still stank, so we pulled off at the next junction and left the car in a carpark with all doors open for ten minutes.

Good times.

Cheers

Grim
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