Strange things said whilst asleep....

[mistergixer]

I fell asleep on the sofa last night, apparently i was snoring, snoring so loudly in fact that MrsGixer couldn't hear the TV over my snoring.
Eventually she lost her rag and shouted at me, at which point i opened my eyes and we had the following conversation:

Her - You're snoring, stop it.
Me - What do you want me to do about it?
Her - Turn on your side or something.
Me - I can't.
Her - What?
Me - I can't.
Her - Why not?
Me - Because of the oboe.
Her - The oboe?
Me - Yes, the wobbly oboe.
Her - The wobbly oboe?
Me - Yes, the wobbly oboe. It has 2 heights.

At that point i closed my eyes and went back to sleep. When MrsGixer told me about it this morning, i had absolutely no recollection of ever waking up or having the conversation. I don't know why the oboe was wobbly, or what the different height settings do.
Any ideas?
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Space Monkey #7
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[The Shaggy D.A.]

Occam's Razor.

The wobbly oboe is obviously your penis. It was at the larger of its two heights, and was acting like a sidestand, stopping you from rolling over.

This dream interpretation stuff is easy
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Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
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[Kwaks]

Her - You're snoring, stop it.
Me - What do you want me to do about it?
Her - Turn on your side or something.
Me - I can't.
Her - What?
Me - I can't.
Her - Why not?
Me - Because of the elbow.
Her - The oboe?
Me - Yes, the knobbly elbow.
Her - The wobbly oboe?
Me - Yes, the knobbly elbow. It has to be elevated at height.


Tell her to clean her ears out
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[yen_powell]

[J0Al1]

chuckle


I 'apparently' sat up on my bed one night and 'chanted' "I belive in the holey ship" a few times. My mate said she was quite freaked out. Years ago.

[Flip]

An ex of mine was babbling about being on a boat so I splashed water on her face telling her it was getting rough. I ended up shouting abandon ship and throwing the glass of water in her face. She woke up on the floor, soaked and confused. I laughed for a week.

[nowhere.elysium]

My dad is prone to falling asleep in front of the TV. My personal favourites include:

[Dad] *mumbles something*
[Me] What's that, Dad?
[Dad] I was talking to Mandy (My sister)
[Me] OK...
5 minutes pass
[Dad] Bloody hell, Mandy! I told you to stop bloody well blowing glass!

Strangely enough, he shouted this last line pretty damn loud, so I was caught between soiling myself through laughter and fright...

[Dad]One... Two... Three... Tomato... Five... Cucumber... Fish.
[Me] Uh, what?
[Dad] Shuddup. I'm busy.

Still not entirely sure what to make of that last one, though...
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[deepfriedmars...]

This thread's had me laughing!

Not quite the same thing but as I was drifting off to sleep before I had my tonsils out,I was talking about polishing my slippers,the suddenly went "oh man alive" and went to sleep. Strange.

Kirsty
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Scottish and proud!
CBT passed-15/04/09
'06 Honda CBR125R -Currently bikeless

[mark83]

When I was younger I was sleeping around my cousin's house.

He got up in the middle of the night, went into the kitchen and took a nice long piss right in the middle of the floor.

When he was even younger he sleep-walked into the kitchen again, opened the fridge and pissed on his own birthday cake.

hahaha!!!
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Kawasaki ER6n -> Honda CBR600RR -> Honda VTR 1000 -> Moto Guzzi Norge 1200
Buy my Mercedes 350 Sport AMG Evo

[Catalyst]

Not done anything myself (that i know of) but my mum once rolled over put her fist against my dads face and said "I'll smash your bloody face in" then instantly when back to sleep.

She also once tried to bark like a dog in her sleep, often used to shout "SHUTUP" really loud as well.
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SlimRick - I can cook really well - but it's a useless skill, as I'm not a woman and it's their fucking job!

[Poseidon]

I once sat bolt upright in bed, and asked my wife (who was awake);
"Was it Abba or Bucks Fizz who did The Land Of Make Believe"
She answered it and I layed back down and carried on sleeping. I had no recollection of it at all!
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1977 Honda CG125
2002 Ducati Monster S4 (currently restoring)

[the grim reaper]

I remember on holiday many years ago (in tents) my Mum, who was in her tent next to ours, shouting 'It's behind the stool stand, behind the stool stand!'. This went on for five minutes, we were pissing ourselves laughing by the end. She also had no recollection.

Cheers

Grim
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Adverts don't always work: Remember that advert, where the army are running across the desert and they have a wounded man on a stretcher. They get to a ravine, the bridge is down and a caption pops up that says, 'What are you thinking?'. I don't know about you but I was thinking, 'Christ, I'm glad I'm not in the f***ing army'.

[Tarmacsurfer]

[J0Al1]

[lofty]

Great post! When I was about 8 and on holiday with family I said some pretty odd things in my sleep.
My sister and I were sharing a double bed (she was about 10) and apparently I sat up in bed in the middle of the night, and started saying
'there's something in the middle!'
'there is, theres something'
'don't worry charlotte (sister), its fine'

this continued for a while and my sister found it all a bit odd, then I started gathering up the duvet, no idea why, but I woke up in the morning with the whole double duvet acting as my pillow! Don't think my sister was too impressed.

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

ME: My name is Dagnal

HER: Dagnal who?

ME: My name is Diagonal Dagnal

Pat
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[Noxious89123]

I have conversations with my otherhalf whilst she's sleeping.

Tis always good for a laugh. She always seems wide awake when she does it though!

One time she exclaimed "there are too many donkeys in the river"
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'06 Honda CBR125RW-6 ~ '00 Honda CBR600F-Y ~ '07 Honda CBR600RR-7 ~ Bikeless
'53 Ford Ka 1.3 ~ '03 Vauxhall Astra SRi 1.8 ~ '52 Vauxhall Astra SRi 2.2 ~ '53 Vauxhall Astra GSi

[dgo1212]

My missus talks in her sleep,it's great as I can ask anything I want and know I'll get the truth

She also sleepwalks,the funniest one to date has to be ringing the emergency services in the early hours

operator-Which service do you require?
missus-Ambulance please
operator-Whats the emergency?
missus-I'm bleeding quite profusley
operator-where are you bleeding from?
missus-all over,there's blood everywhere!
operator-Ok where are you
Missus then gives address to operator who immedietly dispatches an ambulance,operator then asks another question and the missus wakes up.
missus-hello,who am I talking to?
operator-It's the emergency services you rang for an ambulance
missus-Did I,what for?
operator-you were telling us you were bleeding quite profusley
missus-Oh!well I'm not

Operator realises missus must have rang in her sleep and proceeds to laugh and take the piss,missus laughs along with her and apologises,meanwhile I'm pissed off at being woke up

Me-who the fuck were you on phone to at this time in the morning?
missus with a confused look-nobody,what made you think I was on the phone?

[st3v3]

You lot are sad freaks.



Mind, I did have a good laugh at a few of them, and my neighbor is in bed next door probably listening (or being woken up) to me laughing my head off alone, through the paper thin wall.


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Roger wrote: Women don't get damp for clingy puppies. Get some better happy pills, hit the gym & buy a medallion the size of a dinner plate. Job done

[.Chris.]

I have it on good authority that I babble insane rubbish as I'm waking up in the morning.
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Chris
1985 Kawasaki Z550F

[lukamon]

mate on the other airbed : (he knows who he is)

sits bolt upright: NO, NOT THE SHEARS! lays down.
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killa wrote: Im an ass man myself

[dextersaurus]

There was a really funny one when i was with my squadron at the vierdaagse in holland...

Apparently i sat bolt upright, pointed across the room and shouted 'The penguins are on the march! Put the diving board in the shallow end!' then proceeded to collapse back down and fall asleep.

Strange.

Also, at a party once, a mate was sleeping while me and some girl were talking and he sits up and says 'why of course you can sofia, its right there' Then looks at us, smiles then falls asleep.

Also had another made get up and piss on my shoulder, but i'm not going into detail.

Dunc

[SlimRick]

Last night my Missus kept saying "Molly Bar" - then having a little dance whilst singing a completely random series of words. I had to turn the other way so I didn't wake her up laughing!

[Mr Hammers]

I once frightened my tent mates when we were camping years ago. Apparently I woke up very alarmed in the dead of night and got them all to get out of the tent quickly, because it was being run over by a tractor driven no less by some kind of human/horse mutant, apparently.

Once they were all out, I calmly ushered the bemused lot back inside saying 'it's ok, it's gone now'.

I honestly didn't believe them at the time, but since have had many similar events, and often talking gobbledygook with the kids in the mornings.
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A Guide To Powerbands

[warped one]

I think i win

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=175677&highlight=sleep+walking+adventures

but others include,

- Singing,
- Dancing,
- Swearing,
- Trying to do cartwheels,
- In cornwall I decided to shout that I was having a wank, which my mate found hilarious,


One i found out the other day was when working away, after picking up a lass, I stood on the bed, and started swinging my willy around, to which the guy I was digging with lobbed his boot at me knocking me off the bed, which was just as i woke up.

Another was siting in the middle of the room, like a budda swirling my body around, whilst chanting about human sacrifice is nessercary, to restore peace and humanity to the world.

This was done in some wierd sort of voice that he said clearly wasn't mine ha ha.

Am i possessed you decided.

Quiet funny that nobody at work will stay in a room with me now

Anybody fancy staying at my house lol, Pernig got off lightly when he stayed lol.

Warped
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.