Domestic Violence

warped one · Banned Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Karma :

Ok so on Friday night my girlfriend, was out in town and saw her ex, they got into some trouble and went back to his, with her 2 mates. Shorty after her 2 mates went to the local Asda to get some fags and when they got back they were arguing.

He then proceeded to punch her to the floor and kick her as her mates ran in, to try and break it up. Then he hit her mate (17y.o Lass) after she tried to stop him kicking her again.

It all ended in her getting thrown down a flight of stair's by her hair hitting the door at the bottom and knocking her out. Then he came after her again, with her mates trying to protect her.

They then ran out of the front door carrying her. Whilst the nieghbours came out thinking that she had been killed. They jumped into a taxi and paid 40quid to get back to her house in Louth. Where they phoned me (3am) and I went down to find her beaten and bruised. Since then I have not let her out of my sight and she is even scared of walking down the street alone incase someone beats her again.

All this has been said to the police and it is now in the statemnet stage.

Yesterday after taking her to the police station and sorting her statement, we went to the pub and had a few drinks. And left her there because she said she was staying at her mates house. They went to the pub had a few drinks where upon he turned up, they had an exchange of words and he gave her a hug (wierd?)

Her mate woke up this morning to find her gone and a note saying

"Sorry I didn't want to wake you."

After phoning her multiple times and it been off everytime. I got a call off her mate asking if i'd seen her. Now all leads are pointing to her been at her ex's house who beat her.

Her phone has been off since 10pm last night where I got a text off her.

I am worriedas hell about this because for all I know she could be dead on the floor of his flat.

What should I do?

I am off round to her mums to take her stuff back and tell her where she is because to be honest even though I am worried I just feel like I should give up, after all the help I have given her and she has gone and done this. It's not just me that is worried her mates have no idea where she is niether does her family.

But another thing that is really worrying me is that she got 4k in her bank recently so she could have just disappeared with him.

I'm pulling myself apart here thinking that I should have just taken her back to her mums last night and not left her with her mates where she could easily get to him and him to her.

All this came just 2 days afte he punched her in the face in the street on Wed night, and I got called to pick her up.

Please give me some advise on what to do, I know she isn't thinking straight.

Mark
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

Tarmacsurfer · World Chat Champion Joined: 29 Jun 2004 Karma :

When did you last see her?
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Carl_steveo · World Chat Champion Joined: 23 Jun 2008 Karma :

Go round his house and batter the bastard. Check to see she is alright and then dump the bitch. Job done. Next question??.
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TUG · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 May 2007 Karma :

As said before, leave her.

Somethings not right there mate tbh. Find someone else. Thumbs Up

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Bikeless · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Karma :

Get rid mate,lifes too short to be with people who are going to p*ss you about. Thumbs Up

iooi · Super Spammer Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Karma :

Shaun · Likes 'em bent Joined: 17 May 2003 Karma :

Sort your life out.

warped one · Banned Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Karma :

Ok I have found her now, she was round his all day.

EVEN WHEN THE POLICE TURNED UP.

I know what everyone is saying about leave her and all that but for some reason everytime I try too, I just can't. And it is all to easy for it to be said, but I have been in the same situation but worse and did some funny things but never did this.

I can't even begin to tell you how pissed off I am about all this. I really did think that this time we had a real good chance of making it. We were getting on better and everything. But she just goes and disappears, then when we do find her she just says that her phone was flat and she didn't mean to worry anyone, but she had no way of contacting us. I mean seriously in this day and age you can get on facebook, or something and send a message or even a free text.

But back on topic,

What makes a person do this to someone?

Mark
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

chris-red · Have you considered a TDM? Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Karma :

For a start the first thing I would have done is made sure this excuse for a human could never walk again.

If she went back to him fuck her, if she is so braindead to return to some arsehole who beat her up she deserves it.

If I was in your place now I would be inclinded to wash my hands and fuck the whole situation off.

Oh yeah, tits, garry etc.
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Banned · World Chat Champion Joined: 29 Jun 2009 Karma :

Your not her main priority, she ll mess you head up even more if you beleive her and allow this to continue.

TUG · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 May 2007 Karma :

GhostRider · World Chat Champion Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Karma :

warped one · Banned Joined: 25 Dec 2007 Karma :

A bit of background info on this girl.

When I 1st met her she was so low I didn't know if even I could help her, yet over the time we spent together she rebuilt her confidence and sorted her life out. She quit the drugs and slowly regained her trust. Now when I see her she is even worse then she was before. And I know she is a member of this forum and reads my posts but maybe she needs to see this to understand what she is doing to people who care about her.

Mark
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

T1z3R · World Chat Champion Joined: 23 Oct 2005 Karma :

you sound like her samaritan mate. if thats your bag then stick it out otherwise leave her to her own devices and move on with your own life.

sounds easy...and it is.
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Mr.Everready · World Chat Champion Joined: 28 Mar 2003 Karma :

Kwaks · I'm not a fast rider Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Karma :

Forget her, forget him (at least for now).

Don't go near him, police have the complaint on file and if something happens to him you will be their first visit.

As for her, drop her stuff at her mums, don't call her, don't speak to her, walk past her in the street if you see her. The time will come when she looks back and realises what a mistake she has made, but you cant afford to ruin your life waiting on that.

She has done it at least once, she will do it again if she gets away with it.

You can bow out of this relationship with your integrity intact, do it before you are dragged down to their level. Karma

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Handsome · World Chat Champion Joined: 30 Dec 2005 Karma :

This is a 50/50 thread that's just going to go round in circles...

In the sense that we/us can see that it'll do you no good what so ever to keep being this womans lap dog, she's got you on a very short leash and up to yet when she tugs it you come to heel, we can understand that you have an emotional connection to her but she also still has one with her Ex, the fact that she goes running to her Ex proves that that one is a stronger connection than the one she shares with you, now yeah, we appreciate that there's more to the picture regards feelings and past history but you seriously need to walk away as things like this in life will do you no good, she's obviously made her choice, accept it and move on...

If she wants to run back to a bullying Ex then that's her choice, no amount of this that and the other from you OR her mates will change that as she'll see it as interferance and it'll just push her closer to her Ex, the only way she'll see what's infront of her face, apart from another fist, is when she realises she's pushing people that do genuinely care for her away, and untill that time you'll only end up pushing her further into his grip, which he's counting on and up to yet you and her friends are doing a pretty good job of it...

Seriously walk away, it'll do your heath and mental state no good at all, now yeah you can sit there and read this and this thread and think " What the fuck do they/that idiot know, this is happening to me not them, they don't understand ? " but that's the thing, we're looking at it from the outside so we see a better clarity than you are while you're sitting in it, and yeah it's hard to just sever those ties BUT it needs to be done, you need to be stronger than you are and cut it off, hopefully she'll realise in time what she's lost and what she's missed/missing out on, and untill that time you're just going to be in limbo, move on and hopefully she'll knock your door one day, if she doesn't just look at it as you've moved on with your life and got on with things and hopefully onwards and upwards, rather than followed her around at her beck and call and achieved fuck all...

Move on man, it's the right thing to do...Hope it works out for you all anyway... Thumbs Up

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killa · Won't Shut Up Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :

Its all been said above mate, she's doing you a favour by putting distance between you two.

I know its hard to cut ties because of the effort gone in and the reward that came out, but bottom line is, she aint a keeper. Thumbs Up

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map · Mr Calendar Joined: 14 Jun 2004 Karma :

Sadly some women are like that, must be something masochistic in the genes.
Either that or it's like an addiction, once an alcoholic then always an alcoholic.

IMO put it down to Darwinism and walk away.
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TUG · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 May 2007 Karma :

MarJay · But it's British! Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Karma :

Am I right in saying everything the Warped One posts comes across as complete claptrap?

Short term memory loss

Girlfriend goes around ex's house and is 'beaten up'

Various other things.

I'm calling troll.
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Mudskipper · World Chat Champion Joined: 22 Aug 2006 Karma :

TUG · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 May 2007 Karma :

Must be skipper Laughing

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Villers · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Karma :

crazymotorbik... · Nearly there... Joined: 05 Mar 2006 Karma :

Hey Bro (Yes i am his brother lol),

I have no idea why you bother with that low life; and yes she is a low life!!

She has cheated on you more times than i care to remember, uses you for money then spends all day at her ex's!! Alarm bells would be ringing to me!!

You can do so much better than her. Shes is a head case. If you fall out with me for what i'm saying then so be it, but you need to hear it.

As for her ex i've been told he's actually a nice guy by more than one person, and with chloe been a compulisve liar i'm willing to bet the whole 'I got beaten by my ex story' is all made up for sympathy. When she came here she didn't have a mark on her and seemed perfectly ok to me.

She needs to sort her head out. Dont let her drag you down with her becuse she just is not worth it.

Listen to the ppl on here there not saying what there saying for the sake of it!!

And before you say it i know its hard to move on from her, but at the end of the day lifes too short to be wasting your time and effort on someone who clearly doesn't appreciate it.

That is all.
Shaun.